Men’s Mental Health: Breaking Barriers and Embracing Therapy
Men’s Mental Health: Breaking Barriers and Embracing Therapy
Mental health challenges don’t discriminate—anyone can struggle, regardless of gender. But despite this, many men hesitate to seek therapy, often feeling they need to handle things on their own. The reality is that therapy can be a powerful tool for working through challenges like anxiety, depression, relationship difficulties, and trauma.
Men experience mental health struggles just as much as women, but they often show up differently. For example, depression in men doesn’t always look like sadness—it can come out as frustration, irritability, or even anger. Suppressing emotions over time can lead to stress, anxiety, and physical symptoms like tension headaches, digestive issues, or muscle pain.
Recognising these patterns is the first step toward change. Therapy offers a safe space to process emotions, develop coping strategies, and build resilience. No one has to struggle alone.
Therapy for Men – The Statistics
Many men mask symptoms of depression with an “I just need to get on with it” mindset. This approach often leads to unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as alcohol use, substance abuse, pornography addiction, or gambling. By the time these habits become problematic, mental health may have already deteriorated significantly.
The statistics reveal just how urgent this issue is:
- In 2021, Scotland recorded 556 deaths by suicide, according to the National Records of Scotland (NRS). This is 73% higher than the 206 deaths by suicide among women. Similar patterns are seen across England and Wales.
- Men with alcohol dependence are more likely to have a history of conduct disorder or antisocial personality disorder, whereas women with alcohol dependence are more likely to have coexisting mood or anxiety disorders (Dawson et al., 2010).
- According to the government’s national well-being survey, men report lower life satisfaction than women.
- Only 36% of NHS counselling referrals are for men, despite the widespread need for support.
- Nearly three-quarters of missing adults are men.
- 87% of rough sleepers are men.
These numbers highlight the urgent need for better support, awareness, and accessible mental health resources tailored to men.
Why Do Men Avoid Therapy? Understanding the Barriers
Understanding why many men hesitate to seek therapy is key to breaking the cycle of silence. Here are some common barriers:
- Societal Expectations: From a young age, men are often told to be “strong, self-reliant, and in control.” These ingrained beliefs can make seeking help feel like a weakness when, in reality, it’s an act of strength.
- Shame and Guilt: Turning to unhealthy coping mechanisms—like alcohol, gambling, or social isolation—can lead to guilt or self-disgust, making it even harder to reach out. However, therapy offers a judgment-free space to process emotions in a healthier way. If shame is something you struggle with, you may find my blog on understanding and managing shame helpful.
- Stigma Around Mental Health: The idea that therapy is only for “serious problems” still lingers. But just like physical health, mental health needs regular care and attention. Talking openly about emotions can help normalise therapy as an essential part of self-care.
- Fear of Vulnerability: Opening up can feel uncomfortable, especially for men who have been conditioned to keep emotions bottled up. Yet vulnerability is not a weakness—it’s a strength. Therapy can help build emotional resilience and strengthen relationships.
If you’re struggling with these barriers, seeking support is the first step. My counselling and coaching services provide a safe space to explore these challenges and develop practical strategies for personal growth.
Case Study: James’ Story
James, a 38-year-old professional, always considered himself independent. From a young age, he was taught that men should be strong, self-reliant, and in control. When he started struggling with anxiety and stress, he ignored the signs, telling himself to “just get on with it.” Instead of addressing his emotions, he turned to late nights, drinking, and overworking as coping mechanisms.
Despite knowing he wasn’t himself, James hesitated to seek help. Here’s why:
- Societal Expectations: Like many men, James believed that asking for support was a sign of weakness, even though he would never judge a friend for doing the same.
- Shame and Guilt: His coping mechanisms only made him feel worse, trapping him in a cycle of guilt and self-disgust. He worried that talking about his struggles would make him look “less capable.”
- Stigma Around Mental Health: He feared others would think he had serious issues if he went to therapy. It felt easier to push through alone—until it became overwhelming.
- Fear of Vulnerability: James found it difficult to open up, even to those closest to him. The idea of sharing his thoughts with a therapist felt uncomfortable and exposing.
Eventually, James decided to seek help. He found that therapy provided a judgment-free space to process emotions, challenge limiting beliefs, and develop healthier coping strategies. Over time, he realised that vulnerability wasn’t a weakness—it was a strength.
How Men Can Benefit From Therapy
Therapy provides a safe, judgment-free space for men to openly discuss their concerns and express themselves freely—without fear of rejection or pressure to “have it all together.”
Working with a therapist can help men develop healthy coping strategies, such as:
✔ Emotional regulation – learning to manage stress, anger, and anxiety in healthier ways.
✔ Meditation & grounding exercises – techniques to stay present and reduce overwhelm.
✔ Journalling – a practical way to process thoughts and emotions.
✔ Assertive communication & boundaries – building confidence in expressing needs and setting limits.
Some men use therapy to process past experiences that may still be affecting them, while others prefer to focus on practical solutions for the present. There’s no right or wrong approach—what matters is finding what works best for you.
The Broader Impact of Therapy for Men
Seeking therapy isn’t just about personal growth—it also has a wider impact on relationships, work, and society as a whole.
Normalising Therapy for Men
By prioritising your mental health, you send a powerful message to those around you—including friends, family, and colleagues—that seeking support is a positive step, not a weakness. Being open about therapy can help break the stigma and encourage a culture where men feel comfortable discussing emotions without fear of judgment.
Strengthening Relationships
Emotional awareness and regulation play a crucial role in building strong, fulfilling relationships. When men understand their emotions and develop healthy coping strategies, they are more likely to:
✔ Communicate more openly with loved ones.
✔ Strengthen bonds with family and friends.
✔ Develop greater empathy, leading to deeper connections.
Enhancing Job Performance
Workplace stress can feel overwhelming, especially when mental health struggles go unaddressed. Therapy can help by:
✔ Reducing work-related stress and anxiety.
✔ Improving focus, decision-making, and productivity.
✔ Enhancing communication and teamwork skills.
Prioritising mental well-being doesn’t just benefit you—it positively influences your personal and professional life, creating a ripple effect that helps normalise therapy for others.
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When To Reach Out for Therapy
Recognising when you might need support is an important step toward improving your mental well-being. If you’ve experienced any of the following, therapy could help you regain balance and clarity:
- Feeling more easily irritated than usual.
- Experiencing bursts of anger or aggression.
- Feeling sad, down, or emotionally drained.
- Struggling with overwhelm, stress, or pressure.
- Unexpected weight changes (gain or loss) without a clear cause.
- Increasing alcohol or drug use as a coping mechanism.
- Losing interest in activities you once enjoyed.
- Struggling to focus at work, school, or home.
- Having more frequent headaches or feeling unwell with no clear explanation.
- Experiencing sleep disturbances, such as sleeping too much or too little.
- Feeling exhausted even after a full night’s sleep.
If any of these sound familiar, you don’t have to navigate them alone. Therapy offers a safe space to explore what’s going on and develop strategies to feel more in control.
To Conclude
Therapy offers men a path to better mental health, stronger relationships, and greater overall well-being. By breaking down barriers and encouraging open conversations, we can create a world where men feel empowered to prioritise their mental health without stigma or hesitation.
As a counsellor and coach specialising in men’s mental health, I provide a safe, supportive space to help you navigate life’s challenges. If you’re ready to take the first step, book a discovery call today. Reaching out isn’t a weakness—it’s a sign of strength, and you deserve the support to feel more confident, in control, and at peace with yourself.
References
Khan, S. S., Secades-Villa, R., Okuda, M., Wang, S., Pérez-Fuentes, G., Kerridge, B. T., & Blanco, C. (2013). Gender differences in lifetime alcohol dependence: Results from the National Epidemiologic Survey on Alcohol and Related Conditions. Alcoholism: Clinical and Experimental Research, 37(10), 1696–1705. https://doi.org/10.1111/acer.12159
