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Wine O’clock to Wellness: How to Stop Drinking Alcohol with RTT

Wine O’clock to Wellness: How to Stop Drinking Alcohol with RTT

Are you ready stop drinking alcohol and step into the life you deserve? For many, drinking starts as a way to unwind, socialise, or manage stress. Over time, it can become a deeply rooted habit, even when you’re ready to stop.

Life has many periods of transition, whether it’s starting a new career, becoming a parent, entering midlife, or adjusting to a new routine. These moments of change often prompt us to reflect on our habits and whether they align with the future we envisage. Reducing or stopping alcohol can be a powerful way to embrace these transitions and step into a healthier, more confident version of yourself.

How Drinking Became Normalised for Women

In recent years, drinking alcohol, especially wine and gin, has been glamorised and almost encouraged as a way for women to wind down. Popular phrases such as “wine o’clock” and “live, laugh. love and drink wine” have become part of everyday language, normalising the habit of drinking in the evening. While these phrases might seem harmless, they can make it easy to brush over the impact alcohol has on our health and well-being.

If you’re considering cutting back or if you want to stop drinking alcohol altogether, there are many pathways to explore, which include self-help techniques and professional help.

In this blog, I’ll share why we rely on alcohol, the benefits of letting go, and how techniques like Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) can help you create meaningful and lasting change.

sign with the handwritten message wine o'clock

What Kind of Drinker Are You?

When it comes to drinking habits, everyone’s relationship with alcohol is different. For some, alcohol is part of their everyday routine, while for others, it might only appear in social settings or at stressful times. Reflecting on your drinking habits can provide clarity and help you take the next steps toward change.

The Motivational Model of Alcohol Use, developed by Cox and Klinger, suggests that people drink for various reasons, which generally fall into four categories:

  • Social Drinking: Consuming alcohol to enhance social experiences or fit in with a group.
  • Coping Drinking: Using alcohol to manage stress, anxiety, or emotional pain.
  • Enhancement Drinking: Drinking to heighten positive emotions and increase excitement.
  • Conformity Drinking: Drinking to avoid social rejection or meet the perceived expectations of self or others.

This model highlights that drinking isn’t just about the habit itself—it’s often tied to deeper emotional and psychological needs. Reflecting on these motivations can give you insight into your own relationship with alcohol and help you decide which steps to take to stop drinking alcohol.

Do I Need to Know What Kind of Drinker I Am?

Discovering what type of drinker you are can help you better understand your drinking patterns and triggers. Furthermore, the way you identify your relationship with alcohol may provide insight as to why you drink. However, what matters most is how it impacts your life and whether it aligns with the person you want to be.

When exploring your drinking habits, it can be helpful to consider:

  • How does alcohol affect your health, relationships, and goals?
  • Would reducing or stopping drinking improve your quality of life?

Whether you identify as alcohol-dependent, a social drinker, or simply someone with a habit they’d like to change, the decision to reflect and take steps forward is a powerful one.

Why Do We Begin to Rely on Alcohol?

Alcohol often fills a gap in our emotional or social lives, even when we don’t realise it:

  • A Way to Relax: A glass of wine after work, or once the kids are in bed, becomes a ritual for unwinding.
  • Coping with Stress: A drink can feel like a quick escape from life’s challenges.
  • Easing Boredom: When drinking, the evening hours may seem to pass more quickly, giving a sense of “doing something.”
  • Numbing Emotions: When facing challenges, alcohol can act as a distraction or coping mechanism, keeping complex thoughts or feelings at bay.
  • A Social Habit: Gatherings or nights out often feel incomplete without alcohol, and for those with social anxiety, it might seem like a way to feel more at ease.

During times of transition, such as starting a new job, moving house, or navigating a breakup or empty nest, it’s easy to rely on alcohol as a way to manage stress and uncertainty. However, these patterns often keep us stuck in cycles that don’t align with the changes we want.

How to Stop Drinking Alchohol Safely:  Heavy Drinkers and Medical Advice

If you drink significantly more than the recommended guidelines for alcohol consumption, it’s crucial to approach stopping with care. The recommended limit in the UK is a maximum of 14 units of alcohol per week, spread over three or more days.

For those drinking well above this amount, stopping alcohol suddenly can be dangerous and may lead to withdrawal symptoms, including:

  • Anxiety or restlessness
  • Tremors or sweating
  • Nausea and vomiting
  • Severe symptoms such as seizures, hallucinations, or confusion

Alcohol withdrawal seizures are a serious risk for heavy drinkers who stop suddenly without medical supervision. If you believe you may be at risk, seek medical advice before quitting. Your GP or a specialist service such as Alcoholics Anonymous can provide tailored support and may recommend a medically supervised detox to ensure your safety.

It is important to remember that reaching out for help is a positive step and never something you should be ashamed of. You don’t have to navigate this alone; medical professionals and support services are here to help you take the first step toward a healthier future.

woman looking sad sitting at a table contemplating drinking wine

How Hypnotherapy and RTT Can Help You to Stop Drinking Alcohol

Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) is more than just talking about change—it’s about experiencing it at the deepest level. Using a combination of hypnotherapy, cognitive techniques, and personalised support, RTT works with your subconscious mind to:

  • Uncover the root causes of your reliance on alcohol.
  • Reframe old beliefs into empowering, positive ones.
  • Equip you with lasting tools to thrive without alcohol.

For a long time hypnotherapy has been recognised as a powerful tool for addressing habits and behaviours, including alcohol consumption. Research supports its effectiveness in helping individuals reframe their relationship with alcohol and achieve lasting change.

For example, a study published in the Australian Journal of Clinical Hypnotherapy and Hypnosis found that hypnotherapy can be an effective intervention for reducing alcohol consumption. The study highlighted how hypnosis works by addressing subconscious beliefs and triggers, enabling individuals to gain greater control over their drinking habits.

These findings align with techniques used in RTT, which combines the principles of hypnotherapy with cognitive and behavioural approaches. By accessing the subconscious mind, RTT helps uncover the deeper reasons behind drinking, reframe those beliefs, and empower you to take steps toward a healthier, alcohol-free life.

The Impact of Alcohol on Your Well-Being

While alcohol may offer temporary relief, its long-term effects can be significant, as detailed on the NHS website.  Typical risks and challenges include;

  • Health Risks: Liver damage, heart disease, and increased cancer risks are only a few of the health concerns related to the overuse of alcohol.
  • Mental Health Struggles: Alcohol can worsen anxiety and depression, leaving you feeling stuck in a cycle.
  • Relationship Challenges can erode trust, communication, and connection with loved ones.

Life transitions offer a unique opportunity to step back and evaluate what’s no longer serving you. By reducing or stopping drinking, you can build a foundation of health and clarity that supports your next chapter.

Your Transformation Starts Here

Imagine this:

  • Waking up every morning feeling energised and clear-headed.
  • Letting go of the guilt or regret you’ve been carrying about your drinking habits.
  • Embracing your authentic self, the person you are without alcohol.
  • Facing life transitions with calm confidence, knowing you can handle change without relying on a drink.
  • Enjoying the financial freedom that comes with not spending money on alcohol.
  • Living a life that truly aligns with your goals, values, and dreams.

Reducing or stopping drinking isn’t just about what you leave behind—it’s about everything you gain. Whether you’re cutting down or taking steps towards an alcohol-free life, finding the right approach for you can make all the difference.

Self-Help Techniques for Reducing or Stopping Alcohol

If you’re trying to stop drinking alcohol or cut back, incorporating self-help techniques into your daily routine can make a significant difference. Here are some practical methods to support your efforts:

  1. Identify Your Triggers

Reflect on when and why you feel the urge to drink. Common triggers include stress, boredom, social pressure, or emotional distress. Once you know your triggers, you can prepare alternative coping strategies, such as journalling, walking, or practising deep breathing.

  1. Set Clear Goals

Decide whether you want to cut down or stop drinking completely. Set specific, achievable goals, like limiting yourself to a certain number of drinks per week or avoiding alcohol during weekdays. As you move forward tracking your progress can help you stay accountable and motivated.

  1. Replace the Habit

Find healthier alternatives to fill the time or emotional space that drinking occupies. This might include exercise, meditation, listening to pod-casts, reading, cooking, or taking up a new hobby. Substituting alcohol with non-alcoholic drinks, like sparkling water or herbal teas, can also help ease the transition.

  1. Create a Support System

Share your challenges and intentions with a trusted friend or family member who can support you. You may also find it helpful to join online communities or local support groups where others are on the same journey. Knowing you’re not alone can be incredibly encouraging.

  1. Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness can help you stay in the present and become aware of your thoughts and emotions. When the urge to drink arises, take a moment to pause, take a deep breath, and ask yourself what you’re feeling. This awareness can help you choose a healthier response.

  1. Celebrate Your Wins

Acknowledge your progress, even if it seems small. Whether declining a drink at a party or going a week without alcohol, celebrating these victories builds confidence and reinforces your commitment to change.

woman's hand round a cup drinking a healthy herbal tea

A Supportive Tool for Change

If you’re looking for a supportive approach to exploring your relationship with alcohol, techniques like Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) can help uncover your triggers behind drinking and empower you to create lasting change. Whether you choose a personalised session or a hypnosis recording, RTT offers tools to support your journey.

Are You Ready to Take the Next Step?

Life transitions are a time for personal growth, and every step you take guides you towards a healthier version of yourself. Whether you’re cutting back, pr stopping drinking alcohol completely, or exploring new coping strategies, your decision to create positive change is a positive first step.

If you’re looking for tailored support, a personalised RTT session can help you uncover and reframe the deeper reasons behind your habits. For a more cost effective and flexible approach, the ‘Stop Drinking Hypnosis’ recording offers an accessible way to start making positive changes at your own pace.

Stop Vaping Today: Transform Your Life with RTT

Stop Vaping Today: Transform Your Life with RTT

For many, vaping, also known as using e-cigarettes, vapes, or e-pens, began as a perceived healthier alternative to smoking or a quick way to destress during busy days. Introduced in the early 2000s, these devices quickly gained popularity as a smoke-free option for nicotine delivery.

Over time, however, vaping has become a habit, a ritual that feels hard to let go of, even when you’re ready to live a healthier, freer life.  If you want to and feel ready to stop vaping, Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) offers powerful tools to help you uncover the reasons behind the habit, reframe them, and move forward with confidence.

Whether vaping feels like a way to relax, cope with stress, or simply fill time during breaks, RTT can help you understand the role it plays in your life and empower you to leave it behind.

What Is RTT?

Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) is a unique therapeutic approach that combines the principles of hypnotherapy and cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) to address the root causes of addictive behaviours. RTT works by accessing the subconscious mind to uncover and reframe the beliefs and triggers that sustain habits like vaping and smoking. This approach not only helps you understand why vaping became a habit but also empowers you to create lasting change.

Both hypnotherapy and CBT have shown promise in helping individuals quit smoking, which shares many psychological and behavioural similarities with vaping.

  • A study published in the British Journal of Health Psychology found significant reductions in smoking rates when CBT was combined with nicotine replacement therapy (NRT), underscoring its ability to address the psychological triggers of addiction.
  • Similarly, a study on hypnotherapy showed that hypnotic procedures generally yielded higher rates of smoking cessation compared to other behavioural methods, highlighting its potential to break the subconscious ties to nicotine dependence.

By combining these evidence-based techniques, RTT offers a comprehensive and personalised approach to help individuals overcome vaping and achieve lasting freedom from nicotine.

The Hidden Health Risks of Vaping

While vaping is often marketed as a safer alternative to smoking, it is not without risks. Research into the long-term effects of vaping is still ongoing, but early findings have raised several concerns:

  • Respiratory Issues: Vaping can affect the lungs and has been linked to conditions like bronchitis and “vaping-associated lung injury” (EVALI). A study presented by the Radiological Society of North America (RSNA) found that even short-term vaping can result in significant lung inflammation and reduced lung function. (RSNA Press Release)
  • Nicotine Addiction: Most vapes contain nicotine, which is highly addictive and can, in some cases, affect brain development in younger users.
  • Chemical Exposure: E-cigarettes often contain many harmful chemicals, including formaldehyde, acetaldehyde, and acrolein, which are known to cause lung and heart damage.
  • Cardiovascular Risks: Studies suggest that vaping may increase the risk of heart disease due to its impact on blood vessel function and inflammation.

These health risks highlight the importance of considering your vaping habits and making changes. RTT not only helps you quit but also empowers you to build healthier habits that align with your long-term well-being.

Why Is Vaping So Hard to Quit?

Vaping isn’t just a habit; for many, it becomes an emotional crutch. It’s a ritual that fits seamlessly into daily life, often marketed as a safer alternative to smoking. However, as noted in a Public Health England report, while e-cigarettes may carry fewer risks than traditional cigarettes, they are not without harm, and their addictive nature can make quitting challenging.

But the truth is the ease of vaping can make it even harder to quit. You can vape discreetly at home, at your desk, or while on the go. For those who switched from smoking, vaping can feel like an old habit in a new form—still tied to nicotine, which has been part of their lives for years.

Adding to the challenge is the fact that research on vaping’s long-term effects is still emerging.   While many recognise the potential harm, stopping when the risks seem unclear can feel less urgent. And with younger generations now starting their nicotine journey with vaping, it’s clear this habit has a unique grip.

Understanding Why Vaping Feels Necessary

Vaping often fills an emotional or psychological gap, even if we don’t realise it at first. For some, it’s a way to manage stress, take a moment of calm, or connect socially. For others, it becomes part of a daily routine—a ritual they rely on.

These reasons may feel valid at the moment, but they often keep us tied to a habit that no longer serves us. RTT helps you dive deep into the subconscious mind to explore the beliefs and triggers that sustain vaping. From there, it allows you to reframe those beliefs and create new, empowering patterns.

How RTT Works for Adult-Formed Habits

Unlike some habits formed in childhood, since it emerged on the market, vaping has been picked up by many adults. RTT is highly effective for adult-formed behaviours because it focuses on uncovering the subconscious triggers and beliefs that keep the habit alive. During an RTT session, we explore questions like:

  • Why did vaping become a solution for you?
  • What emotional or psychological needs does it meet?
  • What beliefs have kept you feeling reliant on vaping?

Once we uncover these answers, RTT helps reframe the narrative. For example:

  • “Vaping helps me relax.” → “I am naturally calm and in control without needing anything external.”
  • “I need vaping to feel focused.” → “I am productive and energised without relying on anything outside myself.”

RTT for Teenagers: A Safe and Effective Solution

Vaping has now become a growing concern among teenagers, with many starting due to peer pressure, curiosity, or as a way to manage stress or anxiety. According to a BBC article on teen vaping, factors like social pressures, tempting flavours, and easy access are behind the rise in teen vaping. RTT is a safe and effective approach for helping teens understand the reasons behind their vaping habits and empowering them to let go of this behaviour.

For parents, supporting a teenager through this process can feel overwhelming. Whether your teen is vaping socially or as a way to cope with stress, RTT offers a tailored approach to address their unique needs. A personalised RTT session can provide lasting transformation, while my ‘Stop Vaping Hypnosis’ recording is an accessible starting point for introducing positive change.

Teenager outside playing with bubbles signifying teenagers vaping

Your Path to Freedom: Two Solutions to Quit Vaping

Whether you’re ready to dive deep with a personalised RTT session or prefer to start with a hypnosis recording, I offer two tailored solutions to support your journey:

  1. Personalised RTT Session (£425)

A one-on-one RTT session is designed to uncover and reframe the subconscious beliefs keeping you tied to vaping. This bespoke approach explores the emotional and psychological needs vaping has fulfilled and replaces them with empowering positive alternatives. You’ll also receive a personalised hypnosis recording to reinforce these changes.

  • Perfect for those ready to invest in a transformative and personalised approach.
Man standing outside breathing in fresh air signifying stopping vaping

  1. ‘Stop Vaping Hypnosis’ Recording (£12.95)

This standalone hypnosis recording is ideal for those who want to begin their journey at a lower cost. It provides an accessible and effective way to reprogram your subconscious with empowering beliefs, helping you take the first steps toward freedom from vaping.

  • An excellent choice for those not yet ready for a full RTT session or looking for ongoing support.

Visualising Your Success

One of the most exciting aspects of RTT is imagining your future self—free from vaping and thriving in all areas of life. Picture yourself:

  • Waking up with clear lungs and renewed energy.
  • Facing stressful moments with calm confidence, without reaching for a vape.
  • Building a lifestyle that aligns with your health, values, and goals.

These visualisations aren’t just dreams; they’re stepping stones toward the life you’re creating. RTT helps make this vision your reality by aligning your subconscious mind with your conscious goals and preferences.

Why Choose RTT to Stop Vaping?

Here’s what makes RTT uniquely effective for quitting vaping:

  • Customised Approach: RTT explores the specific reasons why vaping became part of your life and reframes them.
  • Empowerment: You’re guided to take control of your habits, aligning with a version of yourself that feels free and empowered.
  • Sustainable Change: By working at the subconscious level, RTT helps make change feel natural and lasting.

Take Your First Step Today

Ready to quit vaping? Choose the option that’s right for you:

Your journey to a healthier, freer life starts here. Let’s work together to create a future you’ll love.

Achieve Lasting Success by Replacing Resolutions with Goals

Resolutions vs. Goals: How to Achieve Lasting Success This Year

The start of a new year often brings a whirlwind of emotions. On one hand, it’s a time of fresh beginnings and exciting possibilities. On the other, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the weight of expectations, lingering Christmas and New Year chaos, or the pressure to set and achieve ambitious goals. If you’re feeling stuck, scattered, or emotionally drained, know you’re not alone. The key to overcoming these challenges is shifting your approach to resolutions and goal-setting to achieve lasting success.

This blog will walk you through practical strategies to create meaningful, sustainable goals and explore why resolutions often fail. By adopting a more thoughtful and evidence-based approach, you’ll not only overcome overwhelm but also build a foundation for lasting success.

Why New Year’s Resolutions Often Fail and How to Achieve Lasting Success

Many people start the year with a list of resolutions, but studies show that most fade into the background by February. Why does this happen? Resolutions often focus on sweeping changes, such as “I’ll lose weight” or “I’ll save more money,” without a clear plan to achieve them. They’re frequently rooted in external pressures or unrealistic expectations, leading to frustration and burnout. Perhaps you’ve been carrying the same goal yearly but never seem to reach it. If that sounds familiar, it might be time to reassess and approach that goal differently.

Instead of rigid resolutions, consider setting flexible, meaningful goals that allow for growth and adaptation. Goals are less about perfection and more about progress. Focusing on small, manageable steps makes you more likely to stay motivated and achieve lasting success.

Resolutions vs. Goals: What’s the Difference?

Resolutions are often rigid and outcome-focused (“I’ll run a marathon this year”), whereas goals are more flexible and process-oriented (“I’ll work up to running 5km by the spring”). Goals give you space to adjust as life changes and allow for setbacks without feeling like you’ve failed.

How to Set Effective Goals to Achieve Lasting Success

  • Be Specific: Instead of saying, “I want to be healthier,” set a goal like “I’ll go for a 30-minute walk three times a week.”
  • Make Them Measurable: Track your progress to stay motivated.
  • Keep Them Realistic: Aim for incremental improvements rather than drastic changes.
  • Set a time frame: Give yourself a target date to work toward.

The Science of Goal Setting and Behaviour Change

1. Habit Formation: The 21/66-Day Rule

Popular advice often suggests it takes 21 days to form a habit. Still, research by Dr. Phillippa Lally at University College London found that behaviour typically takes about 66 days to become automatic. The key is consistency rather than speed. Small, repeatable actions—like drinking a glass of water first thing in the morning—lay the foundation for achieving lasting success.

2. The Transtheoretical Model (Stages of Change)

The Transtheoretical Model outlines five stages of behaviour change:

  • Precontemplation: Not yet considering change.
  • Contemplation: Starting to think about change.
  • Preparation: Making plans and setting goals.
  • Action: Actively working toward the change.
  • Maintenance: Sustaining the new behaviour.

Understanding where you are in this process can help you set achievable goals. For example, if you’re in the contemplation stage, focus on gathering information and building motivation before diving into action.

3. Intrinsic vs. Extrinsic Motivation

According to Deci and Ryan’s Self-Determination Theory, goals driven by intrinsic motivation (e.g., “I want to feel healthier and have more energy”) are more sustainable than those based on extrinsic motivation (e.g., “I want to lose weight to look good in photos”). Connecting your goals to your core values and personal aspirations makes them more meaningful and rewarding.

4. Implementation Intentions

Research by Dr. Peter Gollwitzer suggests that creating “if-then” plans increases the likelihood of achieving goals. For example:

  • If I feel like vaping, then I’ll chew nicotine gum instead.
  • If I’m too tired to exercise, I’ll commit to a 10-minute walk instead of skipping it.

These plans help you navigate obstacles that are holding you back, and keep on track by providing clear, actionable alternatives.

Why Resolutions Fail

Common pitfalls include:

  • Setting goals that are vague or unrealistic.
  • Trying to tackle too much at once.
  • Failing to plan for setbacks or challenges.

The solution? Start small, focus on one goal at a time, and create a clear plan for success.

An Example: Sarah’s Journey to Better Health

Sarah, 32, decided to improve her health. She’s been vaping for years, often paired with a glass or two of wine in the evenings. Sarah also struggles with eating processed foods when she is on the go, out of convenience, and as result often feels tired. Sarah’s initial thoughts might be to tackle everything at once, but instead, she decides to focus on one goal at a time.

Joyful woman with yellow cloth in the sunshine signifying achieving lasting success

Step 1: Identifying Priorities and Starting Small

Sarah reflects on which change would have the biggest impact on her overall health and decides to start by addressing her wine consumption. She sets a specific, achievable goal: to completely stop drinking initially, with the possibility of later transitioning to being a social drinker rather than drinking alone. It’s important to approach this safely—if you feel you might be dependent on alcohol, it’s essential to contact a healthcare provider, as stopping drinking abruptly can have health implications. In Sarah’s case, she recognised that her drinking was more of a habit she wanted to break rather than a dependence on alcohol.

By focusing solely on this one habit, Sarah avoids feeling overwhelmed. Each small success such as one night being alcohol free is counted as a big win.  Sarah has noticed triggers such as the evenings feel much longer without drinking so she has written a list of things she can do instead of reaching our for a glass of wine such as reading, going for a walk, catching up on some documentaries she has been wanting to watch or talking on the phone with her friends.

Step 2: Building Momentum with the Domino Effect

After four weeks, Sarah feels proud of her progress. She notices that she’s already starting to feel better physically, which motivates her to address her next goal: to stop vaping. She sets a new goal: “I will cut my vaping by half over the next two weeks by using nicotine gum.”

Surprisingly, Sarah finds it easier to tackle this goal because vaping and wine have been closely linked for her. Due to stopping drinking alcohol, she is less likely to pick up her vape. She has replaced her evening glass of wine with a new collection of herbal teas, which also starts to improve her sleep.

Step 3: Expanding to Healthier Eating

With more energy and better sleep, Sarah now feels ready to address her eating habits. She doesn’t try to overhaul her diet overnight but instead focuses on a single change: “I’ll prepare a healthy dinner three nights a week, starting with simple recipes.”

After a month, cooking becomes a habit. Sarah notices she’s snacking less and feels more in control of her eating. The small changes are adding up, and she’s beginning to see how much better she feels.

Step 4: Continuing to Build Over Time

Sarah’s final focus is improving her sleep. By now, the healthier eating and reduced alcohol are already helping her feel less sluggish, but she set a clear goal to stop scrolling on her phone before bed and commit to a consistent bedtime. With each change driving the next, Sarah finds herself healthier, happier, and more energised than when she started.

Reassess and Adapt as You Go

Life is unpredictable, and your goals should be flexible enough to adapt to changing circumstances. Schedule regular check-ins with yourself to evaluate what’s working and what needs adjustment. Maybe a goal you set in January no longer feels relevant by March, or you’ve made progress faster than expected and are ready to take on a new challenge.

Tip: Reflect on your progress monthly. Celebrate wins, learn from setbacks, and adjust your goals as needed.

Building Rest and Enjoyment into Your Plan

It’s important to remember rest and happiness are essential parts of the process. Achieving your goals shouldn’t feel like a chore. Incorporate activities that bring you happiness and relaxation, whether it’s spending time with loved ones, engaging in a hobby, or simply enjoying a quiet moment with a cup of tea.

Tip: Schedule relaxation time just as you would any other commitment. Rest is productive because it replenishes your energy and focus.

Relaxing table with bouquet poppies, alarm clock and books

Conclusion

This year, to achieve lasting success, give yourself the gift of a more thoughtful, balanced approach to growth. By addressing overwhelm, setting meaningful goals, and taking a holistic view of your well-being, you can create lasting change in your life. Remember, progress is more important than perfection. Start small, reassess often, and celebrate each step forward. A healthier, happier you is within reach—one goal at a time.

If you’re looking for extra support, explore my collection of hypnosis recordings designed to help you overcome challenges, build new habits, and stay focused on your journey. These tools can be a powerful way to complement your goals and set yourself up for success.

6 Tips for Managing Life Transitions (with Confidence)

6 Tips for Managing Life Transitions (with Confidence)

Life transitions can be exciting, full of possibilities, and packed with hope for what’s to come. But they can also feel overwhelming. Balancing the demands of work, family, relationships, and your own well-being during times of change can leave you feeling stretched thin.

When life throws something new your way, it’s natural to find yourself at a crossroads, wondering which path to take.

Research shows that significant life transitions can influence our personality traits, shaping how we see ourselves and our roles in the world. These shifts might feel unsettling, but they also present an incredible opportunity for growth and self-discovery.

If you’re navigating a life transition, the good news is that you don’t have to do it alone. Therapy can provide the clarity, tools, and support to help you face these moments with confidence and resilience.

The Challenges of Life Transitions

Life transitions take many forms:

  • Starting university or a new career.
  • Adjusting to life with ADHD as an adult.
  • Navigating the changes that midlife brings.

While these shifts can bring exciting opportunities, they often stir up feelings of uncertainty, self-doubt, or even fear. You might wonder whether you’re making the right choices or how to handle the challenges ahead.

By taking small steps forward, you can build the confidence to approach these transitions with clarity and calmness.

  1. Embrace Change with Self-Compassion

It’s normal to feel unsure or anxious when life changes. Instead of criticising yourself for not having everything figured out, try to extend the same kindness you’d offer a friend in your position.

Try this: At the end of each day, write down one kind thing you can say to yourself about how you handled the day’s challenges. For example, “I’m proud of how I stayed calm during that meeting” or “It’s okay that I needed a break today.”

2. Create a Clear Vision of Your New Path

Take a moment to picture where you’d like to be after this transition. What does your ideal life look like? Writing down your goals and breaking them into smaller, more achievable steps can make even the most significant changes feel manageable.

Try this: Write down one goal for the week and list three small actions to help you achieve it. Ensure you take the time to feel a sense of pride when you reach your goal, as this will serve as the driver to move you forward.

3. Stay Present in the Moment

It’s easy to get caught up in ruminating about the past or worry excessively about the future, but staying focused on the present can help reduce overwhelm. Mindfulness techniques, such as deep breathing or grounding exercises, are powerful tools for staying calm and clear-headed.

Try this: Close your eyes and take five slow breaths, focusing on the sensation of air moving in and out of your body. Notice how your shoulders and chest feel as you exhale tension. Thoughts may come into your mind, but allow them to pass without judgment, and then refocus on your breathing.  Find breathing exercises that work for stress on the NHS website.

4. Build a Support System

Transitions can feel isolating, but you don’t have to go through them alone. Talking things through with supportive friends, family, or even a therapist can help you process your feelings and feel more connected.

Try this: Reach out to a trusted friend or join an online community that relates to your experience. Sharing your story can make the load feel lighter. You may be surprised as there are often people experiencing similar challenges, and it can be helpful to connect with someone who has lived experience of the changes you are working through.

5. Establish Healthy Routines

During transitions, maintaining structure in your day can create a sense of stability. Simple routines, like regular exercise, journalling, or scheduling quiet time, can help you feel more grounded and in control.

Try this: Create a morning routine with three calming actions, like stretching, sipping a cup of tea, or setting an intention for the day. A healthy routine doesn’t have to involve oodles of self-care techniques; remind yourself that often less is more.

6. Reframe Negative Thoughts

Big changes often come with self-doubt or fear of failure. Learning to challenge and reframe negative thoughts into positive ones can transform your outlook.

Try this: When you catch yourself thinking, “I’ll never manage this,” replace it with, “I’m figuring it out step by step.”

Happy female student standing outside university signifying transitioning into student life

Navigating University and Entering the Workforce: Emma’s Story

Emma, a university student, came to me during her final year. She felt overwhelmed by upcoming deadlines, her dissertation, and the challenge of balancing studies with an active social life. Together, we worked on breaking her tasks into more manageable steps, prioritising self-care, and finding a routine that made her feel organised and more confident.

After graduation, Emma faced new challenges: adjusting to life back home and transitioning into her first ‘real’ job. She worried about leaving her university friends behind and stepping into the unknown world of a 9-to-5 role.

Through therapy, Emma learned strategies for managing her anxieties, preparing for interviews, and creating boundaries between work and personal life. I’m so proud of how she overcame her fears, adapted to her new routine, and built a balanced and fulfilling life.

Emma’s story is a reminder that even the most overwhelming transitions can become stepping stones to growth.

The Benefit of Personalised Support

Life transitions are unique for everyone, so a personalised approach can make a huge difference. Through therapy, you can develop insights, tools, and strategies tailored to your personal needs, helping you navigate change with confidence.

I use a holistic approach to support my clients, addressing the mind, body, and spirit. By incorporating mindfulness, practical tools, and self-compassion, we create a pathway that empowers you to move forward.

man standing looking at two roads decided which direction to go representing life transitions

A Holistic Approach to Life Transitions

Navigating life transitions holistically means addressing the mind, body, and spirit together. This interconnected approach acknowledges that emotional health, physical well-being, and mental clarity are important when managing change.

For instance, mindfulness techniques can reduce stress and enhance focus, while lifestyle adjustments such as maintaining a healthy diet and engaging in some physical activities support overall wellness.

Incorporating self-compassion practices nurtures emotional health and creates a grounded pathway, empowering you to move forward with confidence.

Clear Haven Therapy: Therapeutic Services

Pluralistic Counselling: By drawing on techniques from different therapeutic approaches, we can address your concerns in a way that feels right for you. Whether your are finding a sense of direction, processing past experiences, or managing emotions, counselling can offer insights and strategies for creating a more balanced life.

Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT): This powerful hybrid approach helps identify and reframe deep-rooted limiting beliefs. It’s particularly effective for those struggling with phobias, feelings of not being good enough, or anxiety. By combining techniques such as hypnosis and cognitive behavioural therapy, RTT facilitates transformative change.

Life Coaching: Coaching focuses on personal growth and achieving goals aligned with your values. In times of transition, I help with the structure, motivation, and accountability needed to reach goals, build confidence, and maintain clarity.

ADHD Coaching: ADHD coaching provides practical strategies for managing the unique demands of life transitions. Together, we’ll develop approaches that use your strengths, enabling you to thrive in the areas that matter most.

Embracing Life Transitions: University, Midlife, and Beyond

Whether you’re moving from university to the working world, navigating midlife changes, or discovering you have ADHD in adulthood, therapy can provide the support you need. For students transitioning into the workplace, therapy creates a supportive space to address lifestyle changes, time management, and clarity in career paths.

Midlife often invites reflection and reassessment of life’s direction, from navigating menopause to exploring new career opportunities. Therapy allows you to reconnect with what truly matters, rediscovering past interests or finding new passions that resonate with your current lifestyle.

Book a Discovery Call

If you’re navigating life transitions and feel that additional support could make a difference, please book a discovery call. I’ll be happy to help you on your journey.

How to STOP Overthinking: Tips, Techniques and Strategies

How to STOP Overthinking: Tips, Techniques and Strategies

As a counsellor and coach, I often hear clients asking me how to stop overthinking. Clients describe overthinking as a constant barrage of negative thoughts racing through their minds, the sound of continuous chatter, or playing out past and future scenarios, all with different endings. This blog will provide tips, techniques, and strategies to help you stop overthinking in its tracks, providing you with the calmness your body and mind need.

Constant intrusive thoughts can make people anxious and stressed, impacting how they feel during the day. They can also cause sleepless nights, which can take its toll on a person’s mental health. Overthinking can feel like a relentless cycle of destructive thought patterns and catastrophic predictions that refuse to switch off or quiet down. If you experience this level of overthinking, you know how exhausting it can be.

I often liken overthinking to going on an emotional roller-coaster; you repeatedly experience the emotions attached to events that your mind creates. You have been on this emotional journey but haven’t been anywhere apart from trapped in an endless cycle of anxious thoughts.

Let’s examine the triggers, mental and physical symptoms, and tips and strategies for conquering negative thinking patterns.

What Triggers Overthinking?

Understanding what triggers overthinking can be revealing. This insight can help you achieve a more calming and peaceful mind and lead you to personal growth.

Notice how overthinking tends to start for you. It is triggered by;

  • An event or situation that you find stressful
  • A sudden recollection of past events that has made you feel embarrassed or not good enough?  An assumption based on how you perceive the actions of others
  • The fear of confrontation or upsetting another person

For example, it could be a sideways glance from a friend, the tone of a work email, or an unanswered WhatsApp message. Thoughts can quickly escalate and result in running different conversations through your mind, with different endings; usually, these thoughts have worst-case scenario outcomes.

When you notice the triggers, the next time you end up overthinking, you can remind yourself that it is just a thought, not a fact. You can then decide what you would like to do with the idea. Is there some problem-solving to do? How does the thought make you feel? Can you describe the feeling and name it? Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) is a therapy that can help with reframing thoughts. The premise of CBT is that thoughts, feelings, and behaviours are all interlinked. The NHS offer self-help CBT, or a CBT therapist can provide support.

The Downside of Overthinking

Overthinking, catastrophising, and trapping yourself in negative thought patterns prevent you from living in the present moment. Getting into the vicious cycle of overthinking can impact your daily life. Research demonstrates overthinking can be responsible for issues which include:

  • Mental Health Conditions
  • Isolation
  • Sleep Issues
  • Procrastination
  • Low confidence and low self-esteem
  • Headaches, muscle tension and digestive problems

This physical and mental toll is a stark reminder of the need to address overthinking. However, the million-dollar question is, what is the best way to free yourself from overthinking?

Breaking Free from Overthinking

Breaking free from overthinking isn’t just about pushing away your thoughts. It’s about taking control, changing your relationship with these persistent thoughts, and finding alternative ways to manage them.

An excellent place to start is to recognise how overthinking affects you. Notice the mental and physical symptoms and reflect on how they impact other areas of your life, such as interacting with others, progressing in the workplace, or procrastinating. Then, flip this on its side: If you didn’t overthink, what would life look like then? This part is essential as it serves as the driver for you to beat overthinking.

Reflecting on your thoughts may seem counterproductive, as it involves more thinking! However, stay with me. Overthinking can sometimes be helpful, but you must find better ways to manage your overthinking habits, which we will discuss later in this blog.

Reviewing the past and planning the future can be helpful. However, it is essential to enjoy the here and now rather than getting caught up in a spiral of “what ifs”, “could haves “, and “should haves.”

Overthinking and The Red Car Theory?

The red car theory suggests you will see it everywhere once you focus on something. For example, if you think of a red car, suddenly, there will be many red cars on the road.   The truth is that there are no more red cars on the road than before, but it only seems that way because you are looking for red cars; this is at the forefront of your mind.   The presence of other cars becomes insignificant and almost unnoticeable as your attention is on red cars.

The red car theory results from attention and perception rather than an increase in the stimuli in question. If you find yourself in the trap of overthinking, try to remember this theory, as it can bring you some relief from your thoughts.

Case Study: How the Red Car Theory Fits with Overthinking

Emma’s colleague Tom comes into work one day and is unusually quiet. Emma notices Tom doesn’t smile when he sits down and doesn’t speak for most of the morning.

Emma started thinking about what she could have done or said to upset him. Was it the last email she sent? Did it sound curt rather than friendly? Emma revisited past situations in her mind, such as the time she forgot to hand over an important document and the time she missed a necessary appointment.

Emma concludes that she has made Tom angry, which must be related to her incompetence. She remembers other times when Tom was quiet and believes he doesn’t like working with her.

With these thoughts going through her mind, Emma struggles to focus on her work. She becomes aware of other colleagues around her interacting with each other, making her feel more alone and unpopular. These thoughts confirm to Emma that Tom doesn’t like her, that she is unpopular in the office, and that she HAS evidence of this.

Confirmation Bias

However, the reality of this situation is likely to be quite different. There could be several reasons why Tom was quiet; he may have had bad news before coming into the office, missed the earlier train he intended to catch, or had a difficult night’s sleep. Similarly, Emma’s colleagues often chat and interact with each other; this isn’t unusual as they sit next to each other and must interact within their roles.

This example demonstrates confirmation bias, which occurs when you seek information to support your thoughts and disregard any other information that does not fit the story you are telling yourself. Confirmation bias can impact decision-making and your perception of situations and events.

Practical Steps to Overcome Overthinking

Overcoming the relentless noise of overthinking involves a multifaceted approach. As a Pluralistic Counsellor, there is no one-size-fits-all approach; it’s more about trying different techniques until you discover what works best for you.

Below is a range of self-care techniques known to help with overthinking. Trying different techniques can take time, but investing time in yourself is the first positive step.

  • Breathing Exercises:

    Deep breathing exercises are a great way to stop overthinking. You can try many different breathing exercises, including the Square Breathing Technique, which will help slow down your heart rate, make you feel more relaxed, and give you mental clarity.

  • Keeping a Gratitude Journal:

    Every day, spend a few minutes writing down what you are grateful for, or if you do it in the evening, write about what you have been thankful for during the day. It can be something that would typically go unnoticed, such as the beauty of nature around you, the brief interaction you had on your morning commute, or ticking jobs off your ‘to-do’ list.

  • Body Scan Meditation:

    Get comfortable and focus your attention on different parts of your body. Begin with your toes and move upwards, noticing any areas of tension or discomfort. This exercise brings an awareness of the present moment and highlights how overthinking can impact physical health.

  • Mindfulness Meditation Practices:

    Pick up a small object and hold it in your hand.   Set a timer for five minutes and adequately focus on this object. How does it feel? Move your hand over the different textures, take in every detail, how it smells, and look at the colours. If thoughts come into your mind, just let them go and bring yourself back to looking at the object as soon as you notice them.

  • Physical Activity:

    When you exercise, your body releases many hormones that make you feel good, such as endorphins, serotonin, and dopamine. Exercise can be anything from a brisk walk to gentle exercise, team sports, or a gym workout. Choose whatever works best for you.

  • Allocate Time to Reflect:

    It can help to observe a thought mindfully rather than pushing it away. Accept the thought without judgment; write it down or do some problem-solving. A good tip is to allocate a time limit to reflect on thoughts during the day; often, when you reflect on them at a different time, they may feel insignificant, and you can let them go.

  • RTT Hypnosis Audios:

    As a qualified RTT therapist, I have created a stop-overthinking hypnosis audio explicitly designed to help you break free from the cycle of overthinking. My recordings use guided imagery and deep relaxation techniques to access your subconscious mind, allowing you to let go of persistent, negative thoughts and replace them with calm and constructive thoughts.

These techniques will help you stay in the present and offer you peace and tranquillity while your focus is only on what you are doing. The good news is that you will feel empowered by taking control of your mind, knowing you prioritise your mental health and overall well-being.

Close-up of running trainers, illustrating how exercise can alleviate overthinking.

When Overthinking Can Be Helpful

When we hear the word overthinking, it often comes with negative connotations. If you consider yourself overthinking, you might have heard responses like these from friends, family or colleagues.

  • It’s not that complicated. What’s your gut telling you?
  • You are spending far too much time thinking about this.
  • Are you still thinking about this? Why don’t you make a decision?
  • I can hear this situation is stressing you; you are overthinking it.

Overthinking can often come from worrying about making the wrong decision. However, there is usually no definite right or wrong decision. We need to decide based on the information we have available. This is where problem-solving can be a powerful tool, as it can help identify which actionable steps you can take to get the best outcome.

(GuhaRoy, 2024) has written an interesting article about how overthinking can be helpful. It can be the case that overthinking is useful when carrying out academic research, problem-solving or making important life decisions. Set aside time to mindfully spend time with the thoughts that repeatedly come up for you during the day. Allocate time to sit with these thoughts; some may not require any more thought. Or, you may have to do some problem-solving around specific thoughts; if this is the case, allocate time and take a more structured approach to what you feel you need to do with the thought.

To Conclude

You don’t have to live a life filled with constant worry if you are an overthinker. You can use many tips, strategies, and tools to overcome this. Additionally, exploring and getting to the root cause of this constant worrying can be helpful. For example, if you don’t trust your decisions or feel that you aren’t good enough, this could be linked to issues around self-esteem or low confidence. Working on your decision-making skills will increase your self-esteem and confidence as you can trust your own decisions, which will help prevent you from getting on the wheel of overthinking.

These strategies can work great on their own or with the support of a trusted friend, but if you would like some extra guidance and support, professional help may be beneficial. If you would like to discuss further how I can help you with overthinking, please don’t hesitate to contact me.

8 Self-Esteem Tips for University Students with ADHD

8 Self-Esteem Tips for University Students with ADHD

Self-esteem is a person’s overall sense of value and self-worth, profoundly influencing every aspect of life. For university students with ADHD, improving self-esteem is particularly important. High self-esteem can enhance your academic success and social interactions, optimising your university experience.

Understanding Self-Esteem  

High self-esteem impacts academic success, relationships, career choices, personal growth, and happiness. For students with ADHD, developing self-confidence strategies is essential to increasing self-esteem. 

If you have high self-esteem, you will recognise your strengths, be comfortable with your flaws, and have the resilience to manage setbacks or criticisms.

Low self-esteem may manifest as a negative view of yourself, uncertainty about your opinions and abilities, challenges in decision-making, and poor response to criticism.

Even if you haven’t been formally diagnosed with ADHD, you may recognise many of its traits in yourself. Not all adults choose to pursue an official ADHD diagnosis, as it’s a personal decision based on individual circumstances and preferences. As a Counsellor and ADHD Coach, I focus on tackling the challenges posed by these traits, aiming to enhance your quality of life and make daily living more manageable.

If you are a university student with ADHD, this blog will help you optimise your self-esteem, enabling you to succeed academically and socially throughout your university years. 

Smiling university student with ADHD feeling confident and happy while holding study books, representing self-esteem tips for students with ADHD

Case Study: Work on Self-Esteem with Megan

In a recent coaching session, I worked with Megan, a student who identified “adaptability” as one of her key strengths. Megan shared a story about planning a trip with a friend who cancelled at short notice. Despite feeling disappointed, Megan decided to continue the trip as a sole traveller, which was an amazingly empowering experience.

During coaching, we discussed how this situation highlighted her adaptability and showcased her strengths in decision-making, resilience, and independence—critical factors in increasing self-esteem and boosting confidence.

Recognising these strengths helped Megan, who was uncertain about her academic journey, gain clarity and increase her self-confidence. Consequently, she has made significant progress in her academic success.

This example illustrates how identifying and embracing your strengths can enhance self-esteem and equip you to overcome challenges effectively, contributing to tremendous academic success.

8 Academic Success Tips for Improve Self-Esteem

1. ADHD and Embracing Your Strengths

You can boost your self-esteem by embracing your unique strengths. You will have many strengths, but if you have low self-esteem, you may need to recognise them. Take a moment to appreciate and embrace your strengths, talents and capabilities.

It could be your creative thinking, ability to hyperfocus, lateral solid thinking skills, engaging communication, or natural spontaneity. Embracing these qualities can elevate your self-esteem and empower you to approach life confidently.

To identify your strengths, try jotting them down on paper or use downloadable worksheets. Reflect on moments where you’ve actively used these strengths; visualising specific events can help you recall them in detail.

As you do this, you may uncover additional strengths featured during those times. If you consider thoughtfulness a strength, revisit a memory where you demonstrated thoughtfulness. Reflect on what other strengths you displayed at that moment.

2. Set Goals as a Student with ADHD

Setting goals can give you, as a student with ADHD, a clear sense of direction, making it much easier to navigate your academic and personal journey effectively. Think of goals as your signposts. They aren’t rigid; they can adapt and change as new opportunities come your way. They serve as a solid starting point but leave room for exploring new and exciting pathways.

Avoid placing limitations on your abilities. Whether you want to achieve something academically or personally, please write it down or visualise yourself succeeding. Divide big goals into smaller, achievable tasks to sustain momentum and monitor progress.

Celebrate each task completed with self-praise and acknowledge the sense of empowerment it brings. Use these achievements as the motivation to continue towards your larger goals.

Consider obstacles as part of the process and approach them with self-compassion rather than viewing them as setbacks and failures. Reframe challenges as opportunities for personal growth, reinforcing your resilience and determination.

3. Finding Your Voice: Advocate for Yourself

ADHD can affect your communication skills, especially if you have articulation disorders that affect speech and language. You might find it challenging to organise your thoughts clearly or need help with pronunciation, making it difficult to express yourself effectively.

Sometimes, you might interrupt others or speak impulsively, leading to misunderstandings and frustrating communication.

These challenges can affect your confidence in communicating with others. However, understanding these difficulties and getting the proper support, such as speech therapy or counselling, can help you improve your self-esteem and communication skills.

Remember, your voice matters; your unique perspective and experiences value every conversation and situation. Advocating for yourself is a powerful way to increase self-esteem and boost confidence.

You assert your self-worth by standing up for your needs, preferences, and boundaries. Consistently doing this reinforces the belief that you are capable, deserving, and worthy of respect, ultimately improving your self-esteem.

  • Identify your Communication Barriers:  Recognising these barriers can help you develop strategies to overcome them and enhance your communication skills.
  • Identify your needs:  Understand what accommodations you require, such as a quieter workspace, extended deadlines, or assistive technology.  Knowing your needs well helps you to prepare ahead of time.
  • Schedule a Meeting:  Arrange a meeting with the relevant person (lecturer, course supervisor or student support team)
  • Communicate Clearly: Explain your ADHD and how the challenges can impact your academic success. Use “I” statements to express your needs. For example: “I work best in a quiet environment,” “I need extra time to process information”. Be specific; do your research so you know what help is available.
  • Offer Solutions and Compromise:  Be prepared to suggest solutions and be open to compromise.
  • Build Confidence:  Practice the conversation beforehand to build confidence. You can do this by using a journal, practising with a friend, or rehearsing the conversation using a voice recording app.

4. Building Resilience

Resilience refers to your capacity to work through difficulties, adapt to challenging situations, and become stronger through adversity.

As a student with ADHD, building resilience is especially important. It helps you manage challenges like attention difficulties, staying organised, and controlling impulses.

Resilience allows one to see challenges as opportunities for growth and stay motivated even when things get tough. It also helps one handle stress better, keeps one’s mindset positive, and improves problem-solving skills.

Resilience encourages taking care of yourself and prevents you from feeling isolated.

To enhance resilience, aim to maintain a positive outlook, seek solutions to challenges, learn from your experiences, and cultivate a network of supportive friends, family, and mentors. Strengthening these abilities will aid in your academic and personal success.

5.  Emotional Regulation

Emotional regulation can significantly help students with ADHD build self-esteem. Managing emotions effectively allows you to respond to challenges calmly and thoughtfully, reducing impulsive reactions that might lead to regret or negative self-talk.

You can better control emotional responses and confidently navigate social interactions by developing skills like mindfulness, diaphragmatic breathing, grounding techniques, and cognitive reframing.

When you handle stressful situations well, you reinforce a positive self-image and demonstrate to yourself that you are capable and resilient.

This self-assurance enhances self-esteem, making facing new challenges and pursuing personal goals easier. Focusing on emotional regulation creates a stable foundation for improved self-worth and overall well-being.

6. Adopt A Healthy Lifestyle

Maintaining a healthy lifestyle is vital for enhancing self-esteem. Good nutrition, regular exercise, and mindfulness practices like meditation can significantly impact your mental and physical well-being.

Planning your days helps you maintain a regular routine. Check out my blog for daily planning tips to assist students.

7. Social Engagement

Social interactions are significant for boosting your self-esteem, especially if you have ADHD. Positive interactions validate you, give you feedback, and make you feel like you belong. They counteract any feelings of isolation or doubt you might have.

When you engage with supportive friends and family members, you receive encouragement that strengthens your confidence and self-worth.

By nurturing meaningful relationships and building a support network, you can experience higher self-esteem and overall well-being as a student with ADHD, boosting your overall well-being and academic success.

8. Meet your Role Models

Consider who you admire most, whether a family member, a peer, or someone in the public eye. Their accomplishments and personal journeys can be a great source of inspiration!

Happy university graduate with ADHD holding her certificate after academic success

Wrapping It All Up

As a Counsellor and ADHD Coach, I’m here to support you in boosting your self-esteem to improve your academic success and overall university experience. Please don’t hesitate to reach out if you need additional guidance.

ADHD Coaching Tips for Workplace Success

ADHD Coaching Tips for Workplace Success

As an ADHD coach and counsellor, I often encounter clients grappling with overwhelming workplace challenges. Many experience anxiety around going into the workplace and feelings of not being good enough, which is known as imposter syndrome. These are traits which can show up because of having diagnosed or undiagnosed ADHD.

Navigating ADHD in the workplace presents unique difficulties that require tailored strategies for success.

In this blog, we will explore techniques for overcoming the challenges adults with ADHD encounter in the workplace.

If you’re an employee navigating ADHD, this blog provides valuable tips to enhance your workplace experience. Finding fulfilment at work often triggers a positive ripple effect, improving other facets of your life, such as increased confidence, self-esteem, and motivation.

ADHD Struggles in the Workplace

Studies indicate that adults with ADHD are more likely to face job instability, frequent job changes, or periods of unemployment compared to their peers without ADHD.

Contributing factors include difficulties with time management, organisation, task completion, and maintaining focus. For instance, a person with ADHD might struggle to meet project deadlines due to poor time management or keep a clean and organised workspace.

Impulsivity, emotional dysregulation, and rejection sensitivity can further exacerbate these challenges. Despite their skills, many individuals with ADHD struggle to find workplaces that effectively accommodate their needs, leading to frustration and setbacks in their careers.

However, with the proper support, these challenges can become opportunities for growth and success.

ADHD in Adulthood: Key Insights and Strategies

Once perceived as primarily affecting children, ADHD is now widely recognised as a neurodevelopmental disorder that can persist into adulthood and may even manifest later in life.

For adults who have struggled with the traits of ADHD without understanding its cause, receiving a diagnosis can be an emotional but also a profoundly relieving experience. It validates their experiences, offering clarity and a framework for understanding why they may have faced challenges in various aspects of life, including education, work, and relationships.

Moreover, knowing they have ADHD opens doors to Counselling and ADHD Coaching, which can help them manage traits effectively and lead more fulfilling lives.  The recognition of ADHD in adulthood underscores the importance of ongoing awareness and support for individuals who may have been overlooked or misdiagnosed earlier in life.

ADHD in the Workplace: Key Traits to Identify

ADHD traits, often seen as quirks at home, can significantly impact professional environments. These include:

  • Boredom: Quickly losing interest in tasks or projects.
  • Distractions: Maintaining focus is difficult due to internal (daydreaming) or external (conversations) stimuli.
  • Forgetfulness: Struggling to remember tasks, responsibilities, or deadlines.
  • Hyperactivity: Inability to remain still.
  • Impulsiveness: Making quick decisions or comments without considering consequences.
  • Lack of relationship skills: Being overly blunt, interrupting often, or struggling with active listening.
  • Time management issues: Difficulty meeting deadlines or accurately estimating task completion times.
  • Procrastination: Delaying tasks unnecessarily.
  • Sensory Issues: Sensitivity to noise or light can significantly impact productivity and comfort, affecting tasks that require concentration and focus.

Overcommitting and People-Pleasing in the Workplace

If you have ADHD, you might notice yourself frequently overcommitting and trying to please others at work, sometimes taking on more tasks than you can handle. This tendency to people-please often arises from a desire to be helpful or a fear of letting people down, but it can result in burnout and reduced productivity over time.

Establishing clear boundaries and learning to prioritise tasks can be critical to effectively managing these tendencies and taking a more balanced and sustainable approach to work life.

Olivia’s Journey: ADHD Coaching in the Workplace

Olivia reached out to me after she was recently promoted. She faced new managerial responsibilities and interactions with senior leadership, which triggered overwhelming imposter syndrome and anxiety. Olivia also spoke of finding it particularly difficult to make decisions, which were a necessary part of her role.

We began by enhancing Olivia’s self-awareness of ADHD traits, reassuring her that her challenges were not personal failings but results of her unique cognitive processes. Despite excelling previously, she found the structured environment overwhelming, impacting her focus and productivity. ADHD Coaching sessions focused on implementing structure, time-management strategies, and organisational skills.

These strategies empowered Olivia to improve productivity, interpret feedback objectively, build confidence, increase self-esteem, and foster positive relationships. Olivia’s journey underscores the transformative impact of tailored ADHD management strategies, facilitating both personal and professional growth. Olivia’s story illustrates the potential for growth and success with practical strategies in place.

Successfully Managing ADHD in the Workplace

Managing ADHD effectively at work requires a combination of strategies and support. Communicating openly with employers about your condition to explore potential accommodations and support.

Companies can support their employees in various ways, including providing equipment such as assistive technology, noise-cancelling headphones, or a quiet workspace. Additionally, a government-funded program called Access to Work helps employees and employers by offering services such as specialist equipment, software, and ADHD coaching.  You can find some additional information on my Access to Work blog.

Practical Strategies for Managing ADHD in the Workplace

Focusing Tools:

  • Create checklists
  • Minimise distractions by turning off phones
  • Schedule specific times for returning calls
  • Use sticky notes for reminders
  • Allow extra time for task completion
  • Take regular breaks to recharge
  • Start your workday earlier to reduce distractions

Time-Management Tips:

  • Set alerts for deadlines using phones or computers
  • Use timers for tasks to maintain focus
  • Break larger tasks into smaller, manageable parts
  • Rotate tasks to sustain interest
  • Find an accountability partner for support

Communication Strategies:

  • Practice active listening
  • Seek repetitions if needed for understanding
  • Keep conversations concise and on-topic
  • Slow down speech to allow participation from others
  • Learn to read body language for improved communication

Centering Techniques:

  • Engage in breathing and relaxation techniques like yoga or meditation to manage impulsivity.
  • Identify triggers for impulsive behaviours and develop strategies for handling them effectively.

Keep track of the most effective strategy so you can utilise it when needed.

Turning ADHD Traits into Workplace Strengths

ADHD traits also bring unique advantages to the workplace.  Individuals with ADHD often demonstrate creativity, generating innovative ideas and solutions by thinking outside traditional norms.

Their hyperfocus on engaging tasks allows for deep, quality work and breakthrough insights. Despite challenges, their ability to multitask effectively can be beneficial in fast-paced environments requiring quick thinking, adaptability to change, and problem-solving under pressure.

These traits contribute to a dynamic and productive work environment when supported and directed.

Wrapping It All Up

Many individuals with ADHD face significant challenges in the workplace, but with proper understanding, support, and strategies, they can thrive professionally. If you’re struggling with ADHD at work, remember that seeking support is crucial.

As a coach and counsellor specialising in ADHD, I offer a tailored approach to help you manage ADHD effectively and achieve a more productive and less stressful work life. You’re not alone in this journey; resources and professionals are ready to help you.

Students with ADHD – Daily Planning Tips

Students with ADHD – Daily Planning Tips

Navigating the transition from school to university life can be exciting. However, it can be challenging, especially for students who are neurodivergent. A significant new report undertaken at Bristol University has revealed that one in seven students have ADHD or Autism, which equates to around fourteen per cent of all students.

The report revealed there is a much higher chance of students with autism and ADHD presenting with other neurodevelopmental conditions, such as dyspraxia and dyslexia or mental health conditions, such as anxiety, depression and personality or eating disorders.

This blog will examine how creating an ADHD-friendly schedule can help students with ADHD navigate university life.

ADHD affects executive functions crucial for planning, organising, managing time, making decisions, and regulating emotions.

Whether you are undiagnosed or received a childhood or adulthood diagnosis of ADHD, this blog will offer tips on how to maximise your university experience.

Structuring an ADHD-Friendly Schedule for University Students

By taking the reins and meticulously planning an ADHD-friendly planner, you can harness your time management skills, effectively prioritise tasks, and balance your academic and personal life. This sense of control can empower you, making you feel confident and in charge, and lead to a more fulfilling university experience.

Creating an ADHD-friendly schedule includes developing an effective morning routine and using specific study strategies tailored to the ADHD mind. At first, this might appear difficult or unachievable. However, establishing a routine can provide advantages, such as lowering stress and anxiety, improving academic performance, and maximising your overall university experience.

What is ADHD Paralysis?

ADHD paralysis, also known as ‘task paralysis,’ is a common experience among people with ADHD. It’s like when you know you have to do something important, but you just can’t seem to start or finish it. This can be because you’re not sure where to begin, you’re worried about not doing it perfectly, or you feel overwhelmed by how much there is to do.

As a result, individuals may struggle to initiate or maintain focus on activities, leading to procrastination and heightened stress. Understanding and addressing ADHD paralysis involves breaking tasks into smaller steps, setting clear goals, and employing organisational tools to improve focus and productivity.

8 Daily Planning Tips for Students with ADHD

1. Time Management: Creating an ADHD-Friendly Schedule

Remember to select a planner that matches your unique needs and preferences. Whether it’s an online calendar, a whiteboard, a pinboard, or a blend of paper and pens, the choice is yours. This autonomy can be liberating and contribute to a more personalised and effective study routine.

If you need to use your planner as intended, view it as an opportunity for change. Rather than being hard on yourself, embrace the chance to get creative and enjoy the process! With various planner types available, it may take time to discover the one that suits you best. Consider factors like format (digital or physical), level of detail, and portability. The goal is to find a planner you enjoy using that helps you stay organised.

2. Schedule a Study Routine

Begin by scheduling ‘non-negotiables’ such as lectures, study sessions, and classwork. These are the anchor points of your schedule—tasks that cannot be changed or skipped. They provide structure and focus, laying a foundation for success.

Consider adding ‘negotiables,’ like exercise, relaxation time, or hobbies, around these anchors. This balanced approach ensures you prioritise academic commitments while maintaining a healthy lifestyle, giving you a sense of control.

Adjust your schedule as needed to optimise productivity and well-being.

3. Establish a Sleep Routine

Setting and maintaining a consistent sleep schedule is vital for your overall well-being, especially when dealing with ADHD and its associated conditions, known as comorbidities. Sleep disorders are common among individuals with ADHD and can significantly impact academic success.

One strategy to help you wake up on time is the ‘5-4-3-2-1 method.’ When your alarm goes off, challenge yourself to get out of bed before you finish counting to one. This can help you start your day promptly and avoid the temptation to press the snooze button.

Adjust your sleep habits gradually until you find what works best for you, recognising that this process may take time, especially if you stay up late. Crafting an ADHD-friendly schedule involves balancing academic commitments with social interactions. Nurturing friendships and engaging in social activities while prioritising academic responsibilities is essential.

When planning to attend events, consider your schedule for the following day and make informed decisions about alcohol consumption by eating beforehand, staying hydrated, and alternating between alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks.

Schedule social gatherings on lighter workload days to enjoy them fully without compromising your sleep or studies.

4. Organise your Morning Routine

Consider your morning routine before lectures—showering and heading straight out, enjoying a leisurely breakfast, meditating, exercising, or any other activity you prefer. Creating a realistic and sustainable schedule is critical.

Organising your belongings the night before can streamline your mornings. Pack everything you’ll need the next day and place it by the front door. Spend just five minutes before bed on this simple task.

Visualisation is a powerful technique for mentally preparing yourself. Take a moment to visualise your plans for the day ahead. Visualisation can prompt you to gather essentials like books, folders, and snacks.

Establishing this basic routine can significantly enhance your overall success as a student. Visualisation involves creating mental images of your goals and the necessary steps. It aids in maintaining focus, recalling essential details, and making informed decisions.

This revision maintains the flow while clarifying the steps and emphasising the importance of visualisation and organisation in student success.

5. Maximising Your Morning Routine

Use a timer to measure task durations accurately. For instance, note that it takes twenty minutes to shower and jot it down. Also, remember to account for commute time from home to class. Record these timings on paper and place them where they are easily visible. Maximising your morning routine is crucial for staying on schedule and arriving punctually.

An analogue or wall clock can help maintain focus. Using a mobile phone may lead to distractions—Minimise interruptions as much as possible in the morning.

Morning procrastination is common, especially for those with ADHD. If you anticipate checking social media or spending extra time on breakfast, allocate specific time slots and set alarms to manage your schedule effectively.

This version maintains the flow while ensuring clarity. It emphasises the importance of time management and minimises distractions in the morning routine.

6. Establish Regular Mealtimes for Energy Maintenance

Maintaining steady energy levels through regular meal and snack times is crucial for sustaining productivity and focus throughout the day. Planning each evening to organise meals and snacks for the following day promotes healthier eating and reduces impulsive decisions. Work towards achieving a balanced diet that incorporates carbohydrates, healthy fats and proteins,

This mix provides sustained energy and helps prevent sudden energy crashes. Keeping well-hydrated is equally essential; drinking adequate water throughout the day supports energy levels and prevents fatigue caused by dehydration.

To maintain stable energy levels, avoid sugary snacks that can lead to rapid changes in blood sugar levels. Instead, opt for snacks like nuts, yoghurt, or fruits, which offer a more consistent energy source. Engage in mindful eating by enjoying each bite, which supports better digestion and aids in regulating your appetite.

Including these dietary practices in your daily routine promotes better energy management, enhancing productivity and overall well-being.

7. Incorporating Downtime: Maximising Student Success

Remember, your well-being is just as important as your academic success. Schedule dedicated time for self-care and social activities in your university routine to maintain a healthy balance between work and relaxation.

Allocating time for self-care not only helps prevent ADHD paralysis but also demonstrates self-appreciation and fulfilment of personal needs. Participate in activities that bring you happiness and relaxation, such as reading, taking walks, or socialising with friends, as an essential aspect of your self-care regimen.

To manage ADHD paralysis effectively, employ strategies like breaking tasks into smaller steps, setting clear priorities, using reminders, and adhering to a daily planner.

If you find yourself slipping into ADHD paralysis, acknowledge it consciously and take a small step to break the cycle. Whether grabbing a healthy drink, listening to music, or changing your environment by taking a shower or stepping outside for fresh air, any action can help you regain focus. Importantly, be kind to yourself and avoid self-criticism; instead, move forward to the next task.

8. Mastering Meditation: Techniques for Enhanced Well-Being

Meditation significantly benefits students with ADHD by enhancing focus, reducing stress, and improving emotional regulation. Regular practice can calm the mind, making it easier to manage inattention and hyperactivity. Starting with just five minutes of meditation is a great way to begin. It may take a couple of months to grasp even a short meditation session fully. Try calming breathing exercises or grounding techniques if meditation doesn’t resonate.

Below is a sample of an ADHD-friendly morning routine, but remember that your personalised routine may differ significantly, and that’s perfectly fine. There’s no one-size-fits-all solution; you can tailor these strategies to your needs and circumstances. Feel confident that you can tailor them to suit you best.

This version maintains the flow while clarifying the benefits of meditation and emphasising personalisation strategies. It encourages flexibility and adaptation to individual preferences and needs, reinforcing the message that there is no universal approach to wellness that fits everyone.

Tips for Student Success

Flexibility: Adjust your routine to find what works best for you.

Consistency:  implementing these productivity tips will assist you in crafting a robust university routine, with time, will evolve into ingrained habits

Accountability: Share your schedule with friends, family, or housemates

Rewards: Celebrate small successes to keep yourself motivated.

Wrapping It All Up

Enhance your productivity, time management, and overall well-being with a structured routine tailored to your needs. The goal is to create a routine that fits with you while remaining flexible as you refine it.

If you need support in developing a consistent and healthy university routine, my coaching practice can help. As a counsellor and ADHD coach, I play a crucial role in student success by offering personalised guidance and accountability. Together, we’ll overcome challenges and achieve your goals.

I empower students with valuable insights and tailored strategies to navigate academic and personal hurdles. My guidance will help you unlock your full potential and thrive in your university journey.

Balancing Acts: ADHD and Menopause

Balancing Acts: ADHD and Menopause

For many women, the onset of perimenopause symptoms and menopause marks a significant life transition.  Menopause is a natural part of ageing, bringing many physical, cognitive and emotional changes. 

But what happens when this transitional life stage coincides with ADHD? 

For some women, menopause might be the first time they recognise that they have been living their life with ADHD. When these two conditions overlap, they can bring many new challenges, and their symptoms can be confusing and overwhelming and significantly impact a woman’s quality of life.  This blog explores the intersection of ADHD and perimenopause/menopause.  Let’s delve into how ADHD and menopause interact and what you can do to manage them both effectively.

graphic of a woman in a blue top sitting down contemplating the menopause

ADHD in Women

ADHD traits in women usually present with problems around executive functioning and emotional regulation. These traits can be highly challenging; unfortunately, until recent years, the traits may not have been recognised by medical professionals or mistaken for other conditions such as anxiety and depression.   

Many women receive an ADHD diagnosis after years of struggling with daily life. A late diagnosis can often come at the time of menopause when hormonal fluctuations can trigger a range of cognitive, behavioural and physical changes that can have a life-altering impact.

Cognitive Shifts During Menopause

Menopause occurs due to hormonal fluctuations, typically between ages 45 and 55. Although, perimenopause can start much earlier. During this time, the body undergoes significant hormonal shifts, particularly in oestrogen levels. These hormonal changes can lead to cognitive symptoms, often referred to as menopausal brain or brain fog. During menopause, you might forget things more often, struggle to concentrate or feel mentally sluggish.  The impact of these hormonal changes can lead to other issues, such as sleep problems, emotional dysregulation, mood changes, fatigue, disorganisation, and executive functioning issues.

Does this sound familiar? These symptoms can mirror ADHD, making it difficult to distinguish between the two. For women with ADHD, the symptoms of menopause can feel like their ADHD traits are suddenly much worse, adding another layer of challenges to daily life.   As well as cognitive changes, women can notice physical changes such as weight gain, and they may experience sudden hot flashes; together, these cognitive and physical symptoms can have an impact on confidence and self-esteem.

Why Symptoms Can Intensify During Perimenopause and Menopause

Why do ADHD and menopause seem to overlap with such intensity? New research on the relationship between ADHD and perimenopause/menopause is still developing, but studies suggest that decreased oestrogen and progesterone levels can heighten the traits of ADHD. ADHD often involves deficiencies in dopamine, a neurotransmitter which is necessary for managing attention and emotional responses. During perimenopause, the decline in oestrogen can disrupt dopamine regulation, leading to symptoms such as forgetfulness, brain fog, and emotional dysregulation.

Dopamine is essential for attention, motivation, and reward processing, and oestrogen levels can influence its production and regulation. Research from 2021 indicates that a decline in oestrogen can intensify ADHD symptoms by affecting dopamine functioning.

The Challenges of Diagnosis and Misdiagnosis

One of the challenges women face during menopause is the potential for misdiagnosis. Cognitive symptoms associated with menopause, such as forgetfulness and brain fog, can overlap with those of ADHD, and both can be mistaken for depression, anxiety, or the natural effects of ageing. This overlap can sometimes lead to being undiagnosed or a misdiagnosis.

Misdiagnosis is more likely if healthcare providers are not aware of a patient’s history. If you suspect that menopause or ADHD might be influencing your symptoms, bring it up with your doctor. Keeping a detailed journal of your symptoms can be helpful as it will ensure you cover all the relevant issues so you can confidently advocate for yourself during your appointment.

Managing ADHD During Menopause

Although the overlap of ADHD and menopause can be challenging, there are strategies and lifestyle changes that can help manage both: 

Medical Treatment:  Speak with your GP or Healthcare Provider about your treatment options. ADHD medication can be effective during menopause; both stimulant and non-stimulant medications are suitable. Hormone replacement therapy (HRT) might also be considered to help stabilise oestrogen levels, potentially lessening both menopausal

Mindfulness and Stress Reduction: Techniques like mindfulness, meditation, yoga, and diaphragmatic breathing exercises can help ease many of the symptoms of ADHD and menopause. Meditation helps regulate emotions, manage stress, and quieten a busy mind. Meditation and breathing exercises can also help with sleep issues and physical symptoms such as hot flashes, headaches, and muscle tension. 

Counselling and ADHD Coaching: Working with an ADHD coach or therapist can offer valuable tools for effectively managing your symptoms by providing practical strategies to make daily life much easier. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)  can help you navigate the challenges of both ADHD and menopause by guiding you in managing your thoughts, emotions, and behaviours more effectively. Additionally, discussing your difficulties with a counsellor can be a great way to release some of the feelings you may be holding on to. 

lady sitting in a chair contemplating the menopause and ADHD

Establish a Routine: Creating a structured daily routine can provide stability and help manage brain fog and disorganisation. Calendars, planners, and to-do lists can help you remember important appointments. Breaking tasks into smaller, more manageable parts can help with focus and prevent procrastination. Check my blog on goal-setting for some more strategies.

Lifestyle Adjustments:  Regular exercise can help regulate mood, increase cognitive functioning, and ease many traits of ADHD. Choose activities you enjoy. If you can get out in the fresh air, a brisk walk is ideal for boosting your overall well-being. Do some brainstorming to find activities you enjoy.  Eating the correct foods and taking supplements can help your overall well-being during menopause. A  healthy diet for women experiencing menopause can positively impact many areas, including regulating hormones, bones and heart health, weight management and increased energy levels.  

Sleep Hygiene:  Establish a bedtime routine, as a good night’s sleep will enhance cognitive function and emotional well-being. Night sweats often occur during menopause. Keep your bedroom cool by opening a window or using an air conditioning unit or a fan for a good night’s sleep. Similarly, it can be helpful to wear loose-fitting nightwear to stay calm and light, as well as breathable bedding and natural fibres like cotton. Consider specialist bedding such as moisture-wicking sheets or cooling pillows to help regulate body temperature.

Sharing Your Experiences: You’re Not Alone

It’s important to remember that you don’t have to go through this alone. However, if you feel alone or want to speak to others experiencing similar challenges, consider joining an online community or local support group. These groups can be a great form of emotional support, as you can ask questions and share experiences and information, which can positively impact how you feel.

Three smiley mature woman on the ground facing upwards supporting each other

Finding Support and Moving Forward

If you’re struggling to manage the symptoms of ADHD and menopause, reach out for help. Ask your healthcare provider, seek support from friends or family, and research both conditions. Knowledge is power, and understanding what’s happening in your body is the first step toward taking control.

Remember, menopause and ADHD may complicate your life, but with the right tools and support, you can manage both and continue to thrive.

Conclusion: Embrace the Journey

The intersection of ADHD and menopause can pose challenges, but it’s also an opportunity to learn more about yourself and to find new ways to manage and embrace life’s changes. By understanding how these two conditions interact, you can take proactive steps to improve your overall well-being. Don’t be afraid to seek help, share your story, and connect with others on the same journey.  

Managing ADHD: How RTT Hypnotherapy Helps

Managing ADHD: How RTT Hypnotherapy Helps

Managing attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) can involve navigating many unique challenges beyond the typical symptoms of inattention, impulsivity, and hyperactivity. Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) provides a powerful therapeutic approach for managing ADHD naturally by addressing the underlying subconscious beliefs and emotional triggers that contribute to attention and behavioural challenges.

One of the key features of RTT is that it combines hypnosis, cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), psychodynamic therapy, and neuro-linguistic programming (NLP). This combination of therapies is a powerful tool that provides fast and permanent results for a wide range of issues, such as difficulty with executive functioning, physical issues, emotional regulation, and phobias. 

Renowned therapist Marisa Peer pioneered RTT.  Marisa used her years of experience as a therapist to create this unique approach that provides fast results as it gets to the root cause of the issue quickly, using hypnosis to communicate directly with the subconscious mind.  

RTT helps people reframe limiting beliefs, reduce stress, and enhance focus and self-regulation. These are not the only benefits of RTT; it can also improve concentration, reduce impulsivity, and promote a calmer mindset. This makes it a holistic approach that empowers individuals to manage ADHD traits without or alongside medication. Targeting the root causes of issues, RTT supports long-term behavioural change and emotional well-being. In this blog, I will discuss five common ADHD traits that RTT can help effectively.

5 ADHD Traits You Can Manage with RTT Hypnotherapy

1. Break Free from Overthinking

Overthinking is a common trait of ADHD and one that can be difficult to manage. Often, people with ADHD have extremely busy minds and are overwhelmed by racing thoughts that disrupt concentration and decision-making.

Hypnotherapy, particularly RTT, helps calm these overactive thoughts. By guiding you into a deeply relaxed state, RTT enables you to address and reframe patterns of overthinking, fostering a more focused and confident mindset.

2. Boost Your Self-Esteem

When you are an adult with ADHD, whether diagnosed or undiagnosed, you have likely struggled since your younger years.  You could have memories of teachers or parents saying you could do better if you applied yourself more or didn’t listen in class.  Or, it could be that you have had time management issues and struggled to get to classes, the workplace or appointments on time.  This barrage of negative feedback can have an impact on your self-esteem.  You may feel inadequate or not good enough.  

RTT works to uncover and shift subconscious beliefs that undermine your self-worth. By transforming these deep-seated beliefs, RTT helps you cultivate a positive self-image and approach challenges with newfound confidence.

3. Enhance Your Sleep Quality

Sleep issues are a common struggle for those with ADHD, impacting your overall health and daily functioning. In particular, when you have ADHD, it can affect the inattentive aspect of ADHD, causing concentration issues and leading you to feel sluggish or make careless mistakes.  

RTT addresses these issues by promoting relaxation and establishing healthy sleep patterns.  Implementing the specialist techniques of RTT can help you overcome insomnia and achieve more restful, rejuvenating sleep. 

4. Boost Your Self-Confidence 

Hypnotherapy can boost your confidence by targeting the subconscious beliefs undermining your self-esteem. RTT helps reinforce positive affirmations and build a solid foundation of self-belief, enabling you to tackle challenges confidently.

Portrait of a woman with a rainbow coming out of her head, representing the positive impact of hypnotherapy on ADHD

5. Overcome Imposter Syndrome

Do you ever feel like a fraud despite your accomplishments? Imposter syndrome can hold you back from thoroughly enjoying your successes. RTT addresses the core beliefs fuelling this syndrome, helping you recognise and embrace your achievements.

By transforming your mindset, RTT supports you in acknowledging your true worth and feeling more genuine in your success.

The Research that Supports Hypnotherapy

Research exploring the efficacy of hypnotherapy as a therapy for ADHD has been limited, but the existing findings are positive. Two small-scale studies led by Maarit Virta from the University of Helsinki demonstrated the effectiveness of hypnosis in helping with some of the typical traits associated with ADHD.

 Furthermore, a subsequent follow-up study indicated that hypnosis provided more significant outcomes than Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT).

To Conclude

Hypnotherapy, particularly RTT, offers a powerful way to manage ADHD naturally by transform the challenges associated with ADHD. Whether you’re struggling with the issues described in this blog or have other concerns you would like to address, RTT is a therapy that provides rapid results. Often, clients will see significant improvements in a single session. 

As an RTT therapist who specialises in working with people with ADHD, I am also a qualified ADHD Coach. To provide the best possible support, I combine effective strategies from ADHD coaching to help you set and reach your long-term goals.

If you are ready to tackle any limiting beliefs holding you back and make positive changes to your life, consider trying RTT. For more information on therapies to help manage ADHD traits, please visit my website’s ADHD Therapy for Adults page or book a discovery call. 

8 Tips to Stop Being a People-Pleaser

8 Tips to Stop Being A People-Pleaser

Do you often agree with others even when it doesn’t align with your feelings or personal values?  Do you want to share your opinion or say no, but somehow, it never happens? If this sounds familiar, there is a high chance you are a people-pleaser or have people-pleasing tendencies.  The difference is that if you are a people-pleaser, you will consistently please others regardless of the consequences to your well-being. In contrast, it will be more occasional and situational if you have people-pleasing tenancies. 

People-pleasing is linked to the ‘fawn’ response, a concept introduced by Pete Walker. The ‘fawn’ response describes people-pleasing as safety behaviour whereby people prioritise others’ needs to avoid conflict and safeguard their well-being.

People-pleasing often stems from a strong desire for acceptance and keeping harmony. Keeping others happy can create a sense of security, so pleasing others may initially seem effective. However, it comes with a downside. By prioritising the needs of others, you can lose sight of your authentic self. People-pleasers often act out of a deep fear of rejection, conflict, or abandonment, believing they won’t be left behind if they keep others happy.

Breaking free from people-pleasing can be incredibly empowering and comes with many benefits. Here are eight strategies to help you reduce or overcome the habit of people-pleasing so you can prioritise your happiness.

1. Setting Healthy Boundaries

Establishing clear boundaries goes beyond simply saying no—it’s about building healthier relationships and prioritising your well-being. Being able to confidently and assertively say “no” is key to this process. By setting personal boundaries, you acknowledge that your needs are just as important as the needs of others.   While setting boundaries may take time, it is vital to personal growth and self-empowerment.

“Spread your wings and find freedom in being true to yourself.”

A free bird flying in a bright blue sky with white clouds, symbolizing freedom and breaking free from people-pleasing.

2. Assertive Communication

Develop assertiveness skills to express your opinions, needs, and preferences confidently and respectfully. Communicate your goals and desires to others. You can address any lingering resentment or conflicts through open and honest conversations, ultimately strengthening your relationships. Becoming more assertive will benefit both your personal and professional life. A great way to start communicating assertively is by practising saying no in low-pressure situations to build confidence and ease in setting clear boundaries.

3. Building Self-Esteem

Developing self-esteem and self-worth independent of others’ approval is crucial for overcoming people-pleasing. By recognising your priorities and strengths, you can empower yourself to focus on your needs and well-being. Embracing your unique values helps you make choices that align with your true self rather than counting on receiving external validation.  Remember to put importance on taking care of your own needs, as you are the best person to take control of your life.

4. Prioritise Self-Compassion

Develop the ability to prioritise yourself by placing your needs and well-being above the urge to focus on other people’s needs. Incorporate self-care into your routine by scheduling enjoyable and relaxing activities. Regularly remind yourself of your worthiness of love and respect; positive affirmations can be constructive when reinforcing this mindset. 

5. Self-Reflection

Reflect on what motivates your drive to attempt to improve the lives of others around you. The first step in implementing change is recognising and managing the factors that prevent you from progressing. Recognise triggers such as situations, emotions, or people that trigger your people-pleasing tendencies. Awareness can help you respond differently.  Journalling for a couple of minutes each day can be a great way to self-reflect.

6. Challenge Negative Thoughts

Challenging thoughts and beliefs that fuel people-pleasing behaviours, such as fear of rejection or perfectionism, are essential. Challenging your thoughts can change your mindset, reduce the urge to seek approval from others, and avoid conflict.

7. Seek Support

Talk to trusted friends or family members, or seek professional support who can encourage, guide, and provide feedback as you work on changing your behaviour. When you introduce boundaries and assertive communication into your life, others close to you may observe the changes.  

The best way to manage this is different for everyone. You may want to share with those closest to you that you are making positive changes, or you can work on this alone without the approval of others. Either way is okay, as the most important thing is that you are making changes and getting the support and input that is helpful for you. 

8. Mindfulness and Emotional Awareness

Regular mindfulness practice is a key to gaining a deeper understanding of your emotions. It empowers you to acknowledge and validate your feelings as genuine and worthy of expression, a crucial step towards emotional well-being.

Journalling increases self-awareness and provides a space to reflect on your thoughts and feelings. By implementing mindfulness and journalling, you can diminish the urge to avoid conflict or seek approval from others, resulting in healthier relationships.

zen stones with sunset calm late representing prioritising yourself rather than people-pleasing

The Connection Between People-Pleasing and Vulnerability

People-pleasers often try to appease others to avoid feeling vulnerable or uncomfortable. Brené Brown emphasises that recognising and embracing vulnerability as a strength can empower you to engage more authentically in relationships, creating deeper emotional connections and self-acceptance.

Why do People Become People-Pleasers?

People-pleasers often share certain traits and psychological tendencies, here are some common reasons individuals become people-pleasers;

  • High Agreeableness: If you are highly agreeable, you’re naturally cooperative and compassionate, prioritising harmony in relationships by prioritising others’ needs rather than taking care of your own needs. 
  • Low Self-Esteem: People with low self-esteem seek external validation to feel valued and worthy of love. 
  • Fear of Rejection or Abandonment: The fear of rejection or abandonment drives you to seek approval and avoid actions that might upset others.
  • Perfectionism: You strive to meet the high standards of others, or often it is the high standards you have set yourself. 
  • Childhood Conditioning: Growing up in environments where pleasing caregivers was crucial for receiving love and attention can lead to a learned behaviour of prioritising others’ needs.
  • Empathy and Sensitivity: Highly empathetic individuals often prioritise others’ needs before their own, frequently at the expense of their well-being.
  • Co-dependency: In a codependent relationship, you might derive your sense of identity and self-worth from caring for and pleasing others.
  • Societal Expectations, which often promote being passive and accommodating as signs of politeness and consideration, can reinforce these behaviours.
  • Evolutionary Factors: The tendency to please others might stem from early human communities where acceptance and approval were crucial for survival and resource sharing.
  • Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD): Often associated with ADHD, RSD involves heightened sensitivity to perceived criticism or rejection, leading to overextending yourself to gain approval.

The Consequences of People-Pleasing

While people-pleasing can initially create positive interactions, it often leads to adverse outcomes, such as suppressed emotions, reduced self-worth, feelings of shame, toxic relationships, and stress and burnout. Recognising these consequences is crucial in understanding the need to break the people-pleasing pattern.  

Suppressed Emotions: Prioritising others’ needs can lead to suppressing your emotions to avoid disappointing or upsetting others. Suppressing your feelings can lead to anxiety, sadness and depression, as well as physical problems such as headaches or digestive issues.

Reduced Self-Worth: Over time, you can lose touch with who you are when you listen to other people’s opinions. Decision-making may be increasingly tricky in the long run as you don’t trust your decisions.  

Feelings of Guilt and Shame: Prioritising others can lead to behaviours that contradict your beliefs and values, causing feelings of shame. 

Toxic Relationships: You might find yourself in relationships where others exploit your kindness or passiveness. This can, in some cases, lead to being the victim of gaslighting or abuse. 

Stress and Burnout: Chronic prioritisation of others’ needs can contribute to anxiety and burnout, affecting your mental and physical health.  Often, people-pleasers mask, which can be exhausting.

Are You A People-Pleaser?  Recognising the Signs?

Recognising people-pleasing tendencies is a crucial step toward self-awareness and personal growth. Identifying people-pleasing tendencies is an essential step toward self-awareness. Look out for these patterns:

  • Overextending Yourself: Going to great lengths to meet others’ needs, even to your detriment.
  • Difficulty Saying No: You feel compelled to go above and beyond for others, even when they inconvenience you.
  • Seeking Approval: Craving validation and acceptance from others to feel valued.
  • Avoiding Conflict: Going out of your way to have a quiet life and keep others happy at the cost of your preferences.

Action Plan: Examples of Setting Boundaries and Being Assertive

Applying boundaries and assertiveness can vary across different contexts:

  • Personal Relationships: Communicate your need for personal space or discuss sensitive topics.
  • Work Environments: Assert your limits on workload or address inappropriate behaviour from colleagues.
  • Social Settings: Politely decline invitations or express your preferences without guilt.

 To Conclude

Breaking free from people-pleasing requires courage and self-compassion. It’s about recognising your needs and boundaries while nurturing genuine connections with others. Remember, seeking support and practising self-awareness are essential to this personal growth and empowerment journey. If you have been a people-pleaser for a long time, it can take time to change these habits, and it can mean that you are out of your comfort zone.

However, keep going, always reminding yourself that you are the most important person in your life. Giving up trying to please others is not the same as being selfish; instead, it means putting your health and happiness first. You may be surprised to discover that when you do put your needs first and communicate your preferences to others, you can develop more meaningful conditions. 

If you want to stop people-pleasing but need some support, please book a discovery call.

The Importance of Therapy for Men

The Importance of Therapy For Men

Therapy for men is crucial, as mental health challenges can affect anyone, regardless of gender. However, fewer men seek therapy, highlighting the need to explore the reasons and benefits associated with it. Men can face mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, relationship problems, and trauma, similar to women, yet they are less likely to reach out for therapy.

Although men can experience the same issues as women, they often manifest differently. For example, depression in men may appear as anger due to the tendency to suppress emotions. This emotional suppression can lead to verbal outbursts, irritability, or even passive or physical aggression. Suppressing emotions can also contribute to various mental health problems, including anxiety and stress. Additionally, suppressed emotions can result in physical symptoms like headaches, digestive issues, and muscle tension. Explore the research on emotion theory by (Nickerson, 2023) Simply Psychology.

Therapy for Men – The Statistics

Men often mask symptoms of depression by taking an “I just need to get on with it” approach. This approach can lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms like alcohol use, substance abuse, pornography addiction, or gambling. By the time these strategies become problematic, mental health may have significantly deteriorated.

Statistics reveal the need for increased attention to men’s mental health:

  • In 2021, Scotland recorded 556 deaths by suicide, according to the National Records of Scotland (NRS), which is 73% higher than the 206 deaths by suicide among women. The statistics are similar in England and Wales. More information can be found in this article written by the Samaritans.
  • Men with Alcohol Dependence are more likely to have a history of conduct disorder and antisocial personality disorder. At the same time, women with Alcohol Dependence are more likely to have comorbid mood or anxiety disorders (Dawson et al., 2010).
  • According to the government’s national well-being survey, men report lower levels of life satisfaction than women. Only 36% of referrals to NHS counselling are for men, and nearly three-quarters of adults who go missing are men. Additionally, 87% of rough sleepers are men. An article in the Mental Health Foundation provides more information about these stats.

These statistics emphasise the need to shift societal perceptions of men seeking therapy.

Therapy for Men: Understanding the Barriers

  • Societal Gender Norms: Society often expects men to be “strong, self-reliant, and powerful.” These societal norms can make seeking support challenging, leading men to mask or suppress symptoms.
  • Shame: Men who resort to unhealthy coping mechanisms may feel guilt or self-disgust, making it difficult to seek help. However, reaching out is a sign of strength and resilience. My blog is available here if you would like to read more about shame.
  • Stigma: The stigma around mental health issues remains a significant barrier. Normalising conversations about mental health can change this. Just as you would work on physical health, mental health is equally important.
  • Fear of Vulnerability: Opening up in therapy can be daunting. Yet, vulnerability is a strength that can deepen relationships and foster personal growth.

Case Study: David presented with anger issues and sleep problems

David, a 35-year-old client, came to counselling and coaching for issues with anger and poor sleep. During sessions, he revealed he drank alcohol every night to cope with workplace stress. This nightly drinking contributed to his sleep disturbances and aggravated his anger issues.

Through our work together, we focused on reducing his alcohol consumption, improving sleep hygiene, developing anger management techniques, as well as putting boundaries at work regarding the number of hours he worked. David gradually noticed better sleep and improved anger control, highlighting the interconnectedness of his issues and the importance of addressing them through therapy.

The Advantages of Therapy for Men

Therapy offers men a safe space to openly discuss their concerns and express themselves freely without fear of rejection.  In therapy, men can learn healthy coping strategies such as emotional regulation, meditation, grounding exercises, journalling, assertive communication, and implementing boundaries.

A therapist allows men the space to manage past issues that may impact their lives today.  Alternatively, some men prefer to focus on what is happening for them in the here and now rather than revisit past experiences.

What you would like to gain from therapy is something you can discuss during a discovery call. You want to ensure that a therapist works in a way that you will find most helpful.

Helpful Strategies to Manage Your Mental Health

Normalising Therapy for Men

  • By going to therapy, you convey to others, including your friends and family, that taking care of your mental health is a positive step.
  • Being open and honest about seeking help could inspire others to adopt your outlook and encourage the growth of a society where discussing emotions can be done more freely.

Strengthening Relationships

  • Effectively managing emotions can help build healthy and fulfilling relationships.
  • People tend to have closer relationships with their loved ones, members of their families, and close friends when they are aware of their own emotions and can empathise with others.

Improves Job Performance

  • The workplace is known to be a place that can be challenging when one is already struggling with one’s mental health. Therapy can help reduce work-related stress and anxiety, improve job performance, and enhance communication and teamwork skills.

When To Seek Therapy

If you have any of the following symptoms, it may be a good idea to consider therapy:

  • I’ve been more easily irritated than usual.
  • Experienced bursts of anger or aggression.
  • Felt sad or down.
  • Felt overwhelmed or under much pressure.
  • Unexpectedly gained or lost weight.
  • Started drinking or using drugs more frequently than before.
  • I have been relying on alcohol or drugs to cope with a challenging situation.
  • Lost interest in activities you used to enjoy.
  • I struggled to concentrate at work, school, or home.
  • I had more headaches or days of feeling generally unwell.
  • Sleeping too much or too little.
  • Felt tired even after a whole night’s sleep.

Finding a Therapist

The therapist’s gender is not crucial, but finding one with whom you feel safe and comfortable is essential. It’s critical to find a therapist who is empathetic and experienced in addressing male-related concerns.

Wrapping It All Up

Therapy for men represents a path toward improved mental health and overall well-being. By addressing barriers and promoting open dialogue, we aim to create a supportive space where men can prioritise their mental health.

I support you as a counsellor and coach specialising in men’s mental health. If you’re ready to take the first step, contact me to book a discovery call today. Reaching out for support is a sign of strength, and you deserve to prioritise your mental health.

Understanding and Managing Shame for Personal Growth

Understanding and Managing Shame for Personal Growth

Shame is a complex emotion that can negatively impact your quality of life if not managed effectively. Recognising and understanding shame is the first step toward freeing yourself from the grip of this often painful emotion. When shame takes hold, individuals often feel inadequate or fundamentally flawed. These feelings of shame can stem from various life experiences, including negative beliefs or unrealistic social norms.

For some, chronic shame may be rooted in a deep sense of embarrassment, leading to low self-esteem and a negative self-perception. However, overcoming this powerful emotion through self-compassion and intentional personal growth is possible.

Shame vs. Guilt: Key Differences

Recognising the distinction between guilt and shame is crucial for managing emotional responses effectively:

  • Feelings of shame focus on the self, often leading to low self-esteem and negative thoughts. It’s the belief that “I am bad.”
  • Feelings of guilt, however, focus on actions, leading to the thought, “I did something bad.”

For example, if a student cheats on a test, they may feel guilty by thinking, “I made a poor choice.” On the other hand, shame would cause them to believe, “I am a bad person.” Similarly, if someone is late for a meeting, they may feel embarrassed, but it could develop into shame if they start to believe they are inherently unreliable.

illustration of woman with fingers pointing towards her representing feeling shameful

Shame vs. Embarrassment

While related, shame and embarrassment are distinct emotions. Embarrassment often involves temporary discomfort about a specific situation without long-term effects on one’s self-worth. For instance, spilling a drink at a party might cause embarrassment. However, if it leads to thoughts like “I am clumsy” or “I’m not good enough,” it may trigger feelings of shame.

Situations like being criticised at work, experiencing a breakup, or not meeting societal beauty standards can also lead to negative self-perception and shame. Understanding these differences can help you to navigate your emotional experiences and prevent self-destructive behaviours.

The Evolutionary Roots of Shame

According to research by Sznycer et al. (2016), shame evolved as a defence mechanism to protect individuals from social rejection. In ancient times, being valued by the community was crucial for survival. As a powerful emotion, shame encourages individuals to conform to social norms and maintain positive relationships.

Today, while the environment has changed, the emotional response remains. However, modern pressures—such as social media comparisons—can intensify feelings of inadequacy. This negative self-talk can make it more challenging to navigate negative thoughts and emotions healthily.

When Is Shame Not Helpful?

Shame becomes toxic when it leads to excessive self-criticism, causing toxic shame. This often involves self-destructive behaviours and can result from early life experiences such as trauma, abuse, or emotional neglect. Toxic shame leads to a belief that one is fundamentally flawed, unlovable, or incapable of being a better person.

Managing Toxic Shame

If your feelings of shame become overwhelming or difficult to manage, professional help may be necessary.  Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) can help challenge negative beliefs and reframe negative self-talk. If self-help techniques or confiding in a trusted friend don’t alleviate the feelings, reaching out to a therapist or joining a safe space like a support group may provide relief.

How Shame Affects the Body and Mind

Shame triggers a series of physiological and psychological responses:

  • Emotional well-being: Feelings of shame can lead to chronic stress, which affects your emotional and mental health. You might experience a feeling of inadequacy, a desire to hide, or even inner critical thoughts that negatively impact your sense of self-worth.
  • Physical symptoms: Shame can activate the body’s stress response, causing physical health issues such as an increased heart rate, elevated blood pressure, muscle tension, sweating, and digestive problems.
  • Mental health issues: Prolonged shame weakens the immune system, making individuals more susceptible to illness while also affecting mental health, concentration, and decision-making.

Six Effective Ways to Manage Shame

Overcoming shame involves implementing practical, healthy strategies:

  1. Challenge Negative Thoughts: Utilise CBT techniques to challenge negative self-perception. For example, replace “I’m a complete failure” with “I am on a journey of personal growth.”
  2. Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. Treat yourself with care and engage in activities that enhance your emotional well-being, like journaling or spending time in nature.
  3. Learn and Grow: Consider mistakes to be an opportunity for growth. View shame as a tool to realign your behaviours with your values, thus becoming a better person.
  4. Mindfulness and Breathing Techniques: Practice mindfulness and use grounding exercises or breathing techniques to manage your emotional responses. These methods help calm the central nervous system and bring balance.
  5. Positive Self-Talk: Focus on affirmations that build your positive self-image. Journaling is an effective way to track your achievements and strengths.
  6. Talk About It: Opening up about your feelings of shame with a trusted friend or in an online support group can reduce isolation and help you gain perspective.

man with arms outstretched representing freedom from feelings of shame

To Conclude

Shame is challenging, but it doesn’t have to control your life. By understanding its roots and practising effective ways to manage it, you can reclaim your sense of self-worth and cultivate a positive self-image. Embrace your personal development journey by building emotional well-being, practising self-compassion, and overcoming shame’s negative grip.

If you’re ready to address toxic shame and achieve personal growth, consider seeking professional support through therapy or coaching. Take the first step toward living with confidence and peace. Book a free discovery call today.

Understanding Anger Management

Why Do I Get So Angry? Understanding Anger Management

Understanding anger management is key to navigating this emotion effectively.  Anger is a universal emotion that we all experience. It’s a natural response to perceived threats or injustices, alerting us to situations that require attention and action. Remember, feeling anger is normal and part of the human experience. You are not alone in this; your feelings of anger are a natural part of being human.

Anger can help us set boundaries, advocate for ourselves, and manage difficult situations. Moreover, anger can motivate positive change, making us more resilient and encouraging us to stand up for our values.  Anger can aid personal growth and social change when properly understood and directed.

In his article “The Value of Anger: 16 Reasons It’s Good to Get Angry” (GoodTherapy, 2017), Moshe Ratson discusses the benefits of experiencing anger. When anger feels difficult to control, it can become a challenge. But it’s a challenge you can overcome. Understanding and managing your anger is not just about regaining control; it’s about empowerment. It’s about recognising the signs of anger and having the tools to manage it effectively. It’s about taking charge of your emotions and your life. Mastering your anger is a significant step towards personal empowerment and control.

Understanding Anger: How to Manage Anger

Anger ranges from mild irritation to full-blown rage and can be a powerful motivator. However, uncontrolled anger can negatively impact our lives. Understanding that anger isn’t the problem is crucial—how we manage and express it is essential. With the correct strategies, anger can force positive change, increasing happiness and well-being.

When anger strikes, our body quickly activates the ‘fight or flight’ response, which occurs when individuals perceive a threat or danger. This innate survival mechanism triggers a rush of physiological changes to prepare the body to confront the threat or flee from it.

When faced with a stressful situation, such as encountering a wild animal or experiencing a crisis, the body’s sympathetic nervous system becomes activated.

The fight-or-flight response prepares us to confront or flee threats or danger. It triggers a burst of hormones, such as adrenaline and cortisol, to rush through the body, causing bodily reactions such as an increased heart rate, sweating, and muscle tension.

These physiological changes prepare us to take quick action, which can be helpful in real-life emergencies like preventing an accident or stopping a crime. However, when the threat is only perceived rather than actual, these intense bodily reactions can leave us stuck in a fight-or-flight state, causing potential health issues.

Why Do I Get So Angry?

People express anger differently depending on cultural, social, and individual factors such as learned behaviour or past experiences. Neurodevelopmental conditions such as ADHD and autism, neurological disorders, addiction, and other mental or physical health issues can influence how individuals express anger. Despite this variability, people typically feel and express anger in some common ways.

Understanding your expression of anger is crucial for effective management. Managing anger involves neither suppressing it nor letting it escalate unchecked. Instead, it requires handling it assertively and constructively. Individuals release anger differently based on the situation, which naturally differs from person to person.

How People Express Anger Verbally and Non-Verbally.

Verbal Expressions

  • Shouting or Swearing: Changing tone of voice or language used
  • Sarcasm or Mockery: Using cutting or ironic remarks
  • Blaming or Accusations: Pointing fingers or attributing fault to others
  • Threats: Indicating intention to cause harm or trouble

Non-Verbal Expressions

  • Facial Expressions: Frowning, staring, or clenching the jaw
  • Body Language: Tense shoulders, clenched fists, or aggressive gestures

Behavioural Expressions

  • Physical Aggression: Hitting, pushing, or any form of violence
  • Throwing or Breaking Objects: Destroying or damaging possessions
  • Stomping: Being heavy-footed
  • Withdrawing: Refusing to communicate or engage

Emotional Reactions

  • Crying: Tears can release emotions.
  • Frustration: Showing signs of extreme annoyance or exasperation
  • Irritability: Becoming annoyed, irritated or uneasy by minor interactions or events

Understanding your expression of anger is crucial for effective management. Managing anger involves neither suppressing it nor letting it escalate unchecked. Instead, it requires handling it assertively and constructively.

Learning and applying the proper techniques can be empowering, even when anger feels overwhelming—it’s about regaining control over your emotions and managing your anger effectively.

How can Uncontrolled Anger Impact Physical and Mental Health?

The Impact of Uncontrolled Anger

Uncontrolled anger can significantly impact various aspects of your life:

  • Physical Health: Increases the risk of high blood pressure, heart problems, and a weakened immune system
  • Mental Health: Contributes to depression, anxiety and low self-esteem
  • Relationships: Strains relationships with loved ones, leading to conflicts and misunderstandings
  • Work: Affects job performance and creates a hostile work environment.

Understanding your expression of anger is crucial for effective management. Managing anger involves neither suppressing it nor letting it escalate unchecked. Instead, it requires handling it assertively and constructively.

While intense anger may seem overwhelming, employing appropriate techniques and strategies can empower you to manage anger effectively and regain mastery over your emotions.

Physical Exercise can help you to release anger, and it is good for your overall mental health.

Exploring Different Forms of Anger

  • Passive Anger: Suppressing rage and using subtle behaviours such as giving silent treatment or using sarcasm to express anger.
  • Chronic Anger: Consists of directing anger and resentment consistently towards people or situations.
  • Self-Inflicted Anger: Anger directed towards oneself often involves self-blame, guilt, or self-criticism.
  • Behavioural Anger: Aggressive and explosive behaviour, including yelling, physical harm, or destructive actions.
  • Constructive Anger: Is a positive expression that motivates constructive change, problem-solving, and standing up for one’s beliefs. When managed effectively, anger can be a powerful tool for personal growth and social change. It’s not about suppressing or avoiding anger but about using it to benefit yourself and those around you.

Typical Bodily Responses to Anger

  • Increased heart rate and blood pressure
  • Muscle tension and clenched fists
  • Irritability, restlessness, or a short temper
  • Racing thoughts or difficulty concentrating
  • Sweating and flushed face
  • Elevated levels of stress or anxiety
  • Difficulty sleeping or insomnia

What are some effective strategies for managing anger?

Determining the signs of anger is the first step towards managing it effectively. It’s a journey of self-awareness and control. Here are some self-help strategies to help you manage your anger and find relief.

Managing anger is an integral part of maintaining healthy relationships and overall well-being. Here are some strategies to help you improve your anger management skills:

  • Identify Triggers: Pay attention to situations or events that trigger your anger. Recognising these triggers can help you respond more effectively.
  • Take a Timeout: When anger rises, step away from the situation. Give yourself time to cool down before reacting. Counting to 10 or practising calming breathing exercises can be helpful.
  • Focus on Relaxation: Use relaxation techniques like deep breathing, grounding techniques or imagery to calm your body and mind. Relaxation exercises can prevent anger from escalating.
  • Change Your Thoughts: Cognitive restructuring involves altering negative thought patterns. Challenge your inner dialogue and try reframing thoughts with different outcomes. For instance, instead of thinking, “This is unfair,” consider, “I can handle this calmly”. Another example could be, instead of thinking, “I’m always the one who has to do everything,” consider, “I’m capable of handling my responsibilities.”
  • Problem-Solving: Address underlying issues causing frustration. Sometimes, anger arises from real problems that need solutions. Seek constructive ways to resolve them.
  • Improve Communication: Use “I” statements to express your feelings without blaming others. Effective communication reduces misunderstandings and defuses anger.
  • Use Humour: Lightening the mood with humour can release tension. Find a funny perspective on the situation.
  • Create an Anger Management Plan: Prepare in advance by outlining steps to take when upset. Having a plan helps you respond more skillfully.

Remember, managing anger doesn’t mean never getting angry—it’s about handling it constructively. Practice these techniques, and you’ll develop better control over your emotions over time. If persistent anger is affecting your life, consider seeking professional help.

How can a Counsellor or Coach Help?

If self-help strategies aren’t enough, seeking professional help can be incredibly beneficial. Therapy often begins with an initial discovery call, where you can express your concerns and establish personal goals. As sessions progress, you’ll develop effective coping strategies that empower you and demonstrate your ability to manage anger.

Techniques such as person-centred therapy, cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), hypnosis, and coaching offer practical approaches to address and control anger. If you’re ready to make a positive change, I’m here to support you on your journey to better anger management

Hypnotherapy for a Virtual Gastric Band

RTT Hypnotherapy for a Virtual Gastric Band

Have you tried countless diets, only to find yourself trapped in a pattern of crash dieting, where any weight loss you achieve is soon followed by weight gain? You may have seen positive results with some diets, but your old eating habits creep back over time. Most traditional diets focus on restricting certain foods, which can be challenging to maintain over the long term. However, weight problems extend far beyond your food choices; weight issues are deeply ingrained in subconscious beliefs and emotional ties to eating.

Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) and Virtual Gastric Band Hypnotherapy can transform your weight loss journey by addressing the emotional connection to eating. RTT Hypnotherapy offers a sustainable and effective solution to weight management by addressing the psychological factors that influence your food choices.

What is Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT)?

RTT is an innovative therapy designed by renowned therapist Marisa Peer. It combines the most powerful elements of Hypnosis, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), and Psychodynamic Therapy. This combination of therapies allows for deep and lasting results by working directly with the subconscious mind, where our habits and beliefs are formed.

As a therapist, I’ve used RTT to help many clients struggling with weight management issues, and the root cause of these issues goes far beyond the types of foods being consumed. 

Underlying beliefs and emotional triggers lead to unhealthy eating patterns, which need to be addressed for lasting change. RTT allows us to dig deep into these subconscious patterns and reframe them to support healthier choices.

What is Virtual Gastric Band Hypnotherapy?

A Virtual Gastric Band is a non-surgical approach to weight management that mimics the effects of a physical gastric band but uses the power of hypnosis instead of invasive surgery. During an RTT session, hypnosis allows you to tap into your subconscious mind to uncover and address the underlying causes of your weight challenges.

Unlike traditional gastric band surgery, the Virtual Gastric Band involves no physical procedures, medical risks, or recovery time. Instead, this process uses the power of suggestion to convince your mind that you’ve undergone a gastric band operation, leading to a natural reduction in appetite. You feel satisfied eating smaller portions, making it easier to lose weight and maintain those results over time—all from the comfort of your own home.

relaxing beach stone podium representing relaxing with RTT hypnotherapy for shedding weight

Why Can We Struggle With Weight Management Issues?

Weight management is not just about overeating; it’s often tied to deep-seated emotional and psychological factors. Many of us develop unhealthy relationships with food as a response to trauma, stress or emotional needs. For example:

  • Emotional Eating: Some people turn to food for comfort when stressed, anxious, or unhappy. This emotional eating can be a coping mechanism developed in childhood or during challenging times.
  • Beliefs About Food: Deep-rooted beliefs, such as “I deserve to treat myself with food” or “I need to finish everything on my plate,” can lead to overeating and unhealthy food choices.
  • Past Trauma: In some cases, unresolved trauma can lead to disordered eating patterns as a form of control or comfort. These are psychological issues that diets alone cannot address.

RTT allows us to reframe these deep-seated beliefs, replacing them with healthier patterns that align with your long-term goals for weight management.  If you are determined to achieve successful weight loss and make positive changes in your life, this non-surgical technique could be the ideal therapy for you.