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Why Do I Get So Angry? Anger Management Strategies That Work

Why Do I Get So Angry? Understanding and Managing Anger

Anger is a natural and universal emotion, but when it feels overwhelming or uncontrollable, it can take a toll on your well-being and relationships. If you find yourself wondering, “Why do I get so angry?” you’re not alone. Many people struggle with anger, but the good news is that it can be managed effectively.

What is Anger?

Anger is your body’s way of alerting you to a perceived threat, injustice, or frustration. It can be a useful signal that something needs attention, whether it’s a personal boundary being crossed or an ongoing stressor in your life.

When managed well, anger can help you set boundaries, advocate for yourself, and take action in challenging situations. It can even drive positive change, making you more resilient and motivated to stand up for your values. However, when anger spirals out of control, it can negatively impact your relationships, work, and mental health

Why Do I Feel So Angry?

Anger isn’t just about what’s happening in the moment. It can be influenced by a combination of personal experiences, neurological factors, and underlying emotions such as stress, anxiety, or frustration. Factors that may contribute to increased anger include:

  • Past experiences and learned behaviours
  • Neurodevelopmental conditions such as ADHD or autism
  • Chronic stress or unresolved trauma
  • Physical health issues or hormonal imbalances
  • Feeling unheard, disrespected, or powerless

Understanding your personal triggers is key to managing anger more effectively.

How Anger Affects the Body

When anger strikes, your body enters a heightened state of arousal, activating the ‘fight-or-flight’ response. This survival mechanism releases stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol, leading to physical symptoms such as:

  • Increased heart rate and blood pressure
  • Muscle tension and clenched fists
  • Sweating and flushed skin
  • Restlessness or difficulty concentrating
  • Difficulty sleeping

These responses are helpful in real emergencies, but when they occur frequently due to everyday frustrations, they can lead to chronic stress, anxiety, and even long-term health issues.

Physical Exercise can help you to release anger, and it is good for your overall mental health.

How Do People Express Anger?

People express anger in different ways, often without realising it. Recognising your patterns can help you take control before anger escalates. Some common expressions of anger include:

Verbal Expressions

  • Raising your voice, shouting, or swearing
  • Using sarcasm or passive-aggressive comments
  • Blaming others or making accusations
  • Making threats or ultimatums

Non-verbal and Behavioural Expressions

  • Tense body language, clenched fists, or frowning
  • Withdrawing or refusing to communicate
  • Slamming doors, throwing objects, or physical aggression
  • Engaging in self-destructive behaviour, such as over-eating or substance use

The Impact Of Uncontrolled Anger

Unchecked anger can have serious consequences for your well-being and relationships. Over time, it may lead to:

  • Physical health issues such as high blood pressure and a weakened immune system
  • Mental health struggles including anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem
  • Relationship breakdowns due to conflict and poor communication
  • Workplace difficulties affecting job performance and professional reputation

How to Manage Anger Effectively

Learning to manage anger doesn’t mean suppressing it—it’s about expressing it in a way that is healthy and constructive. Here are some strategies that can help:

Identify Your Triggers

Start by recognising what situations or thoughts tend to trigger your anger. Are there recurring patterns? By identifying these triggers, you can begin to address them before they escalate.

Take a Step Back

When anger starts to build, step away from the situation if possible. A short break can help you calm down and respond more rationally.

Use Relaxation Techniques

Deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, and visualisation can help reduce the intensity of anger. Before reacting, try taking slow, deep breaths and counting to ten. If you’d like more strategies, my blog on Grounding Techniques offers practical ways to stay calm and in control.

Challenge Negative Thoughts

Cognitive restructuring involves changing the way you interpret situations. Instead of thinking, “This is so unfair,” try shifting your perspective to, “I can handle this calmly and find a solution.”

Practice Effective Communication

Use “I” statements to express your feelings without blaming others. For example, instead of saying, “You never listen to me!” try, “I feel frustrated when I don’t feel heard.”

Engage in Physical Activity

Exercise is a great way to release built-up tension and lower stress hormones. Activities such as walking, running, or even hitting a punch bag can be effective outlets.

Find Healthy Outlets for Your Emotions

Creative outlets like writing, painting, or playing music can help you express your feelings in a non-destructive way.

Create an Anger Management Plan

Develop a personalised plan with coping strategies you can use when anger arises. Having a clear plan makes it easier to respond calmly in the moment.

When to Seek Professional Support

If anger is affecting your daily life, relationships, or overall well-being, professional support can make a difference. Counselling, coaching, cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), and hypnotherapy can provide tools to help you manage anger more effectively and improve emotional regulation.

As a therapist, I support clients in developing personalised anger management strategies to regain control over their emotions and build healthier relationships. If you’re ready to take the next step, visit my services page to learn more about how I can help.

Final Thoughts

Anger is a natural emotion, but how you handle it shapes your well-being. By understanding your triggers, using effective coping strategies, and seeking support when needed, you can turn anger from a destructive force into a tool for positive change.

If you’d like to explore support options for managing anger, get in touch to book a discovery call. Managing anger is possible, and you don’t have to do it alone.

Hypnotherapy for a Virtual Gastric Band

RTT Hypnotherapy for a Virtual Gastric Band

Have you tried countless diets, only to find yourself trapped in a pattern of crash dieting, where any weight loss you achieve is soon followed by weight gain? You may have seen positive results with some diets, but your old eating habits creep back over time. Most traditional diets focus on restricting certain foods, which can be challenging to maintain over the long term. However, weight problems extend far beyond your food choices; weight issues are deeply ingrained in subconscious beliefs and emotional ties to eating.

Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) and Virtual Gastric Band Hypnotherapy can transform your weight loss journey by addressing the emotional connection to eating. RTT Hypnotherapy offers a sustainable and effective solution to weight management by addressing the psychological factors that influence your food choices.

What is Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT)?

RTT is an innovative therapy designed by renowned therapist Marisa Peer. It combines the most powerful elements of Hypnosis, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), and Psychodynamic Therapy. This combination of therapies allows for deep and lasting results by working directly with the subconscious mind, where our habits and beliefs are formed.

As a therapist, I’ve used RTT to help many clients struggling with weight management issues, and the root cause of these issues goes far beyond the types of foods being consumed. 

Underlying beliefs and emotional triggers lead to unhealthy eating patterns, which need to be addressed for lasting change. RTT allows us to dig deep into these subconscious patterns and reframe them to support healthier choices.

What is Virtual Gastric Band Hypnotherapy?

A Virtual Gastric Band is a non-surgical approach to weight management that mimics the effects of a physical gastric band but uses the power of hypnosis instead of invasive surgery. During an RTT session, hypnosis allows you to tap into your subconscious mind to uncover and address the underlying causes of your weight challenges.

Unlike traditional gastric band surgery, the Virtual Gastric Band involves no physical procedures, medical risks, or recovery time. Instead, this process uses the power of suggestion to convince your mind that you’ve undergone a gastric band operation, leading to a natural reduction in appetite. You feel satisfied eating smaller portions, making it easier to lose weight and maintain those results over time—all from the comfort of your own home.

relaxing beach stone podium representing relaxing with RTT hypnotherapy for shedding weight

Why Can We Struggle With Weight Management Issues?

Weight management is not just about overeating; it’s often tied to deep-seated emotional and psychological factors. Many of us develop unhealthy relationships with food as a response to trauma, stress or emotional needs. For example:

  • Emotional Eating: Some people turn to food for comfort when stressed, anxious, or unhappy. This emotional eating can be a coping mechanism developed in childhood or during challenging times.
  • Beliefs About Food: Deep-rooted beliefs, such as “I deserve to treat myself with food” or “I need to finish everything on my plate,” can lead to overeating and unhealthy food choices.
  • Past Trauma: In some cases, unresolved trauma can lead to disordered eating patterns as a form of control or comfort. These are psychological issues that diets alone cannot address.

RTT allows us to reframe these deep-seated beliefs, replacing them with healthier patterns that align with your long-term goals for weight management.  If you are determined to achieve successful weight loss and make positive changes in your life, this non-surgical technique could be the ideal therapy for you.

Why Choose RTT and a Virtual Gastric Band Over Traditional Dieting?

Traditional diets often lead to short-term success, followed by weight regain. This happens because diets only address surface-level behaviour—what you eat—without tackling the psychological reasons behind overeating or unhealthy food choices. RTT, combined with Virtual Gastric Band Hypnosis, focuses on transforming your relationship with food from the inside out. By addressing the emotional and psychological triggers, you can free yourself from yo-yo dieting and achieve lasting results.  

No Deprivation

Many diets work by telling you what you can’t eat, leading to feelings of deprivation that can worsen weight problems. Restricting foods can make sticking to a diet difficult and, eventually, lead to overendugling or giving up entirely, so it’s not a long-term solution. RTT works differently. It helps you enjoy your favourite foods in moderation without feeling deprived. This freedom allows you to experience healthy weight loss, giving you the power to make lasting changes.

Sustainable Change

One key to long-term weight management is learning to trust your body’s natural hunger signals. RTT helps reconnect you with these signals, allowing you to eat intuitively. You’ll learn to recognise when you are hungry and stop eating when satisfied, leading to eating smaller amounts for sustainable weight loss.

Set Your Personal Weight Loss Goals

In the first session of RTT, we’ll discuss your specific weight loss goals so the session can be tailored to suit your needs best. Your motivations may vary—some individuals are focused on losing weight due to medical conditions such as heart disease, diabetes, or digestive issues. Others may seek a healthier lifestyle to have more energy for activities like playing with their children or grandchildren or even taking up a new sport. For some, the goal is to improve their self-image, including wearing the clothes they genuinely want rather than feeling limited by their current size.

The Science Behind Hypnosis and Weight Loss

There’s solid evidence supporting the effectiveness of hypnosis when combined with Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) for weight loss. A meta-analysis conducted by Kirsch, Montgomery, and Sapirstein (1993) found that integrating hypnosis with CBT significantly enhanced weight loss results, with improvements of up to 70% over using CBT alone. The study also showed that participants who used hypnosis with CBT were more likely to maintain their weight loss over time.

What Happens During an RTT Session?

You’ll enter a deeply relaxed state through hypnosis during an RTT session. In this state, your subconscious mind becomes more receptive to positive suggestions and imagery. If you are ready to start shedding weight using this non-surgical technique, this is what you can expect.

  • Hypnosis Session: You’ll visualise the installation of a virtual gastric band, simulating the physical effects of a real gastric band without the discomfort of surgery. This process helps you feel full and satisfied with smaller portions of food.
  • Personalised Audio Recording: After the session, you’ll receive a customised hypnosis audio recording to listen to for 21 days. This daily reinforcement is crucial for solidifying the changes made during your session and helping you create new, healthier habits.
  • Ongoing Support: Your therapist will guide you throughout your weight loss journey, ensuring you have the tools and strategies to maintain your progress.

Why RTT Works

RTT works by identifying and reframing the deep-rooted beliefs and emotions that drive unhealthy eating behaviours. By changing these patterns at the subconscious level, you can create lasting change in your relationship with food. Combined with Virtual Gastric Band Therapy, this approach makes weight loss achievable without the risks, recovery time, and discomfort of a physical gastric band.

Beautiful plus size woman supporting health and wellbing

Case Study: Michelle’s Journey to Confidence with Virtual Hypnosis Gastric Band Therapy (RTT)

Michelle, a 53-year-old teacher, initially came to me for counselling.  Michelle struggled when it came to weight management, confidence, and self-image—years of yo-yo dieting and weight fluctuations had taken their toll on her mental health.

Furthermore, Michelle explained that she would start a new diet enthusiastically and see some results, but she only saw short-term results as her old habits would return and her weight would pile back on. She spoke about worrying excessively about the health issues associated with weight problems. Michelle knew she had to make big lifestyle changes if she was ever going to be the fit, healthy person she dreamed of being. 

I could see that Michelle needed more than just a solution to her weight management issues; she needed to rebuild her confidence, regain control of her eating habits, and address the root cause of her struggle with her self-image.  I spoke to Michelle about the hypnotic gastric band, specifically through the practice of RTT, and she was keen to try it. 

Regression Therapy

During regression, Michelle returned to being in the school lunch hall when she was in primary school; she remembers school lunch often being the only hot meal she would eat as her parents struggled financially.  Michelle would eat dinner as quickly as possible, as the children who finished their plates could go up for a second helping.  Michelle spoke of eating exceptionally quickly and finishing her plate in case the food ran out.  This scene demonstrated that Michelle had formed the belief that food could run out, so she had to eat as much as possible when it was available.

The virtual gastric band hypnosis worked by creating a powerful suggestion that Michelle’s stomach was smaller than it was, helping her feel fuller faster and naturally reduce her portions without feeling deprived. However, we also addressed her mindset around food. We removed the belief that food was scarce and that it could run out. Addressing the beliefs around food is not a technique used in surgical gastric band therapy, but it is an essential part of gastric band hypnosis.

Michelle felt a mind-shift change directly after the session, as she was looking at weight loss through a completely different lens. We followed up a few days later, and Michelle had her weight loss goal in place and planned how she would reach it. She was motivated.

3 Months After The Session

Three months after her virtual gastric band hypnosis therapy, Michelle had not only shed weight but also a significant amount of emotional baggage. She was down several clothing sizes, but more importantly, she felt lighter in her mind and spirit. She reconnected with friends and even began to enjoy shopping for clothes again, something that used to fill her with dread.  I was extremely proud of the hard work Michelle put into the RTT process which contributed to her getting these amazing results.

Ready to Transform Your Relationship with Food?

To summarise, the hypnotic gastric band isn’t just about creating a physical sensation of fullness or imagining the physical size of the stomach shrinking; it’s about transforming how you think and interact with food.  Please book a discovery call if you are ready to make a positive change.

RTT for Anxiety, Fears & Low Self-Esteem – A Breakthrough Approach

How RTT Helps You Overcome Anxiety, Phobias & Self-Doubt – 6 Powerful Insights

If you’ve struggled with anxiety, fear, or self-doubt and haven’t found lasting relief, you might be wondering if there’s a more effective way to create real change. Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) is designed to help people overcome deep-rooted issues quickly by rewiring the subconscious mind and breaking unhelpful thought patterns.

Many people turn to RTT after trying traditional talk therapy, CBT, or self-help methods that haven’t delivered the results they were hoping for. Whether you feel stuck in cycles of overthinking, avoid situations due to fear, or struggle with low confidence, RTT provides a fast and lasting transformation by addressing the root cause of these challenges.  Please check my RTT page if you would like to know more about RTT and the process.

Here’s how RTT can help with some of the most common issues that hold people back:

1. Overcoming Anxiety & Breaking Free from Overthinking

Anxiety can feel overwhelming, affecting everything from your confidence at work to your ability to relax in social situations. Many people find themselves trapped in overthinking, replaying conversations, or worrying about the future.

RTT helps by identifying the subconscious beliefs that fuel anxious thoughts and replacing them with more positive, empowering patterns. Through hypnosis, we access the root of your anxiety—whether it stems from childhood experiences, a specific event, or long-standing self-doubt. By rewiring these thought patterns, RTT helps you feel calmer, more in control, and free from the weight of constant worry.

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2. Conquering Phobias & Fears

Fear can be debilitating, stopping you from enjoying life to the fullest. Whether it’s a fear of flying, public speaking, driving, or social situations, phobias can limit opportunities and create unnecessary stress.

RTT works by uncovering the origin of your fear—often a past experience that your mind has attached a strong emotional reaction to. By revisiting and reframing that experience in a safe, controlled way, RTT helps release the fear and replace it with a sense of confidence and ease. Many clients experience a dramatic reduction in their phobia after just one session.

3. Rebuilding Confidence & Self-Worth

If you’ve ever felt like you’re not good enough, doubted your abilities, or struggled with self-criticism, you’re not alone. Low self-esteem can affect relationships, career progression, and general happiness.

RTT helps you uncover where these limiting beliefs started—often in childhood or past experiences—and rewrite them at a subconscious level. Many clients describe RTT as feeling like a ‘mental reset,’ allowing them to step into a version of themselves that is more confident, capable, and self-assured.

A relaxed woman with dark hair wearing headphones, lying on a white sofa with her eyes closed, holding a smartphone. She appears calm and at ease during an RTT hypnotherapy session.

4. Breaking Free from Addictions & Unhealthy Habits

RTT is highly effective for breaking free from unwanted habits such as smoking, vaping, emotional eating, or excessive drinking. Many habits stem from emotional triggers—such as using food or alcohol as a coping mechanism for stress or using nicotine as a way to manage anxiety.

Rather than relying on willpower alone, RTT works by addressing the subconscious reasons behind the habit and rewiring them at their source. Clients often find that cravings significantly reduce or disappear completely after a session.

5. Letting Go of Procrastination & Self-Sabotage

Many people know what they need to do to achieve their goals, yet they find themselves procrastinating, avoiding tasks, or engaging in self-sabotaging behaviours. This is often due to deep-seated beliefs about success, fear of failure, or perfectionism.

RTT helps you break free from these patterns by identifying and reprogramming subconscious beliefs that cause self-sabotage. Clients often experience increased motivation, clarity, and the confidence to take action after just one session.

6. Improving Sleep & Reducing Stress

If you struggle with poor sleep or find it difficult to switch off at night, RTT can help by addressing the subconscious stressors that keep your mind overactive. Whether it’s work stress, personal worries, or general anxiety, RTT enables you to relax more deeply, making it easier to fall asleep and stay asleep.

Through hypnosis, we introduce positive affirmations that promote relaxation, allowing you to develop a healthier relationship with rest. Many clients report feeling more refreshed and energised after just one RTT session focused on sleep

Is RTT Right for You?

If you’ve been struggling with anxiety, fear, or self-doubt and feel ready for a lasting transformation, RTT could be the solution you’ve been looking for. Unlike traditional talk therapy, RTT works quickly—many people notice significant changes after just one to three sessions.

I offer RTT sessions online, making it accessible no matter where you are in the UK. If you’d like to find out whether RTT is the right approach for you, book a free discovery call today.

Alternatively, if you’d like to experience the benefits of hypnosis, take a look at my collection of self-hypnosis recordings, designed to help with anxiety, confidence, and breaking free from unwanted habits.

Final Thoughts

RTT is a powerful tool for transformation, helping you overcome fears, break negative patterns, and step into a more confident version of yourself. If you’ve tried other methods without success, RTT could provide the breakthrough you need.

If you’d like to explore how RTT can support you, visit my services page to learn more, or contact me and take the first step toward lasting change.”

Frequently Asked Questions

What is RTT, and how does it work?

RTT (Rapid Transformational Therapy) is a powerful therapy combining hypnosis, NLP, cognitive behavioural techniques, and regression. It helps uncover and rewire negative subconscious beliefs, creating lasting change in anxiety, fears, and self-esteem.

How many RTT sessions do I need?

Many clients notice significant improvements after just one session, while others may benefit from up to three, depending on their specific challenges.

Is RTT safe?

Yes, RTT is a safe and guided process. You remain in control throughout the session, and it does not involve reliving trauma—only reviewing and reframing past experiences.

Can RTT help with long-term anxiety and fears?

Absolutely. RTT is highly effective for deep-rooted issues, addressing the subconscious causes of anxiety, phobias, and fears. It replaces limiting beliefs with positive, empowering ones.

How can I book an RTT session?

You can book a free discovery call to discuss your needs and see if RTT is right for you. Sessions are held online, making them accessible anywhere in the UK.

How Therapy Can Help You Manage ADHD & Find Clarity

Adult ADHD: How Therapy Can Help You Find Clarity

Living with ADHD can feel like constantly juggling too many things at once—thoughts racing, unfinished tasks, and a sense of chaos that never quite settles. The distractions, impulsivity, and struggles with organisation can be overwhelming, making even simple daily routines feel like a challenge. But ADHD isn’t just about difficulties—it’s a different way of thinking, and with the right support, it can be harnessed to work for you rather than against you.

As a counsellor and ADHD coach, I’ve worked with many adults navigating the ups and downs of ADHD. I understand how exhausting it can be when your mind feels like it never switches off. Therapy doesn’t aim to ‘fix’ you—because you’re not broken—but it does provide tools, understanding, and strategies that can transform the chaos into clarity, helping you feel more in control of your life.

How ADHD Therapy Can Support You

1. Understanding ADHD and Embracing Self-Acceptance

One of the most powerful aspects of therapy is gaining a deeper understanding of how ADHD affects you. ADHD isn’t just about being forgetful or distracted—it’s about how your brain processes information. Recognising that your brain works differently, not incorrectly, can be a huge relief.

Through therapy, you can start to make sense of your unique strengths and challenges. You’ll learn that ADHD isn’t a personal failure but simply a different way of thinking. This shift in perspective can help release frustration and self-blame, paving the way for greater self-compassion and confidence.

2. Creating Personalised ADHD Strategies

ADHD coaching and therapy aren’t one-size-fits-all. Personalised strategies make such a difference in what works for someone else might not work for you. In therapy, we work together to develop techniques that suit your specific needs, such as:

  • Organisation & Time Management: Structuring your day in a way that works for your brain, using visual reminders, timers, and systems that reduce overwhelm.
  • Improving Focus & Attention: Mindfulness and cognitive techniques to help reduce distractions and increase sustained attention.
  • Managing Stress & Overwhelm: Practical coping strategies, relaxation exercises, and grounding techniques to help you stay calm and focused.

Having the right strategies in place can transform how you approach daily life, making things feel more manageable and less like a constant uphill struggle.

3. Managing Emotional Ups and Downs

ADHD isn’t just about focus—it also affects emotions. Many adults with ADHD experience intense emotions that feel impossible to control. Small frustrations can feel like major setbacks and moments of joy can be overwhelming, too.

Therapy provides tools to manage emotional highs and lows, helping you develop self-awareness and emotional regulation. Techniques like cognitive restructuring can help shift negative thought patterns, while mindfulness exercises can keep you grounded when emotions start to take over. Learning to manage your emotions can lead to stronger relationships, better decision-making, and an overall sense of calm.

Woman with a cloud above her head, representing the mental chaos of ADHD. Therapy and ADHD coaching can help manage these overwhelming thoughts.

4. Boosting Self-Esteem & Confidence

If you’ve been told throughout your life that you’re ‘too disorganised’ or ‘not trying hard enough,’ it’s no surprise if your confidence has taken a hit. Many adults with ADHD struggle with self-doubt, feeling like they’re always one step behind.

Therapy can help rebuild your self-esteem by focusing on your strengths rather than your challenges. You’ll start recognising the achievements you’ve overlooked, no matter how small. By setting achievable goals and celebrating progress, therapy helps you see that you’re capable of success, just like anyone else.

Breaking free from negative patterns plays a key role in building confidence. If self-doubt and old thought patterns are holding you back, you might find this blog on Building Self-Confidence and Breaking Negative Patterns helpful. It explores shifting your mindset and developing a stronger sense of self-worth.

5. Strengthening Relationships

ADHD can sometimes impact relationships, whether it’s forgetting important dates, struggling with communication, or feeling misunderstood. Therapy can help you navigate these challenges by improving communication skills and providing strategies to build stronger, healthier connections with loved ones, friends, and colleagues.

Understanding how ADHD affects your interactions can help you explain your needs more effectively and develop strategies for better communication. Stronger relationships create a stable support system, which is invaluable when managing ADHD.

6. Setting and Achieving Goals

Goal-setting can be tricky when you have ADHD. Big goals feel overwhelming, and smaller tasks often get lost in the chaos. Therapy helps break down your goals into manageable steps, create realistic action plans, and track progress without the pressure of perfection.

Whether you want to improve your work performance, stay on top of daily tasks, or focus on personal development, therapy provides the structure and accountability to keep you moving forward.

7. Medication & Therapy: A Holistic Approach

For some adults with ADHD, medication can be helpful, but it’s not the only approach. Therapy provides practical skills and emotional support, helping you develop strategies tailored to your needs—whether or not you choose to use medication.

By focusing on self-awareness, coping techniques, and structured support, therapy empowers you to manage ADHD in a way that works for you.

Finding Clarity & Confidence with ADHD Therapy

ADHD doesn’t have to mean chaos. With the right support, strategies, and understanding, you can feel more in control of your life. Therapy provides the tools to help you navigate ADHD with confidence, whether that’s through developing better-coping strategies, improving emotional regulation, or simply learning to accept yourself fully.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed and unsure where to start, therapy could be the first step toward clarity. If you’d like to explore ADHD coaching or counselling, I’d love to help. Take a look at my ADHD support services, and let’s start your journey toward a more balanced, confident life.

10 Powerful Journalling Tips to Boost Focus, Clarity, and Well-Being

10 Powerful Journalling Tips to Boost Focus, Clarity, and Well-Being

Imagine having a tool to help you clear your mind, eliminate stress and anxiety, and release your creativity in only a few minutes each day. Does this seem too good to be true? The good news is that this tool is available and only costs you time!

Daily journalling is a simple yet powerful activity that can improve your life more than you may realise. Research demonstrates journalling is a healthy way of increasing your emotional and mental health, communication skills, and personal growth. Learn more in this blog about the top 10 benefits of daily journalling and how it can help you.

1. Discover Peacefulness in A Busy World

Our daily life is usually bustling with demands, which can lead to issues such as overwhelm, sleep issues and mental and physical problems.  Keeping a journal not only has mental health benefits, but it also provides a sanctuary for your ideas, allowing you to lessen the chaos and restore mental clarity.

Writing down your thoughts, goals, and reflections can help you see things more clearly so you can focus on the essential things in life.‎ One of the many benefits of journalling is that it provides a space for positive self-talk, which can boost your confidence and increase your self-esteem.

2. Breathe Easier by Letting Go your Emotions 

Life can often throw us challenges, which can cause stress, anxiety, and emotional ups and downs. However, the simple act of journalling can help with many of these challenges. Writing in a journal offers a secure and judgment-free environment to express your thoughts and emotions and connect with your inner self.

3. Gain More Self-Awareness to Uncover Your True Self

Keeping a journal can provide a window into your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. Journaling is a powerful tool for reflecting on past experiences; you may find trends that indicate more about your personality and what inspires you, aiding personal growth.

The first step towards achieving personal growth is creating a private space to be in the present moment. In addition to uncovering your true self, journalling improves your physical health, as demonstrated in a study by Karen A. Bailie and Kay Wilhelm.

cozy composition with mug, candles and a blanket representing grounding exercises

4. Enhance Your Emotional Well-Being with Each Page

Engaging in a habit as easy as writing down a few phrases can significantly enhance your mental well-being, which is part of the magic of journaling. Various studies demonstrate that keeping a journal of your thoughts and emotions can lessen the symptoms of major depressive disorder, sadness, overwhelm, and anxiety.

5. Release Your Creativity—There Are No Boundaries or Limits

You may believe that journalling is limited to writing. However, it’s also a space where your imagination can run wild by drawing, sketching, and brainstorming. Your creativity can flow onto the page when you write without limitations. Whether working on a project or exploring new ideas, journaling is an effective way to reach your full creative potential.

6. Resolve Issues Expertly

Have you ever found yourself needing help to solve a problem? If the answer is yes, consider putting it in writing. Writing in a journal lets you view your difficulties and emotional triggers from different perspectives. It’s a form of communicating with yourself when strategising, evaluating, and breaking down the problem into smaller, more manageable tasks. The answer may show up on the paper in front of you before you realise it.‎

Young woman journalling in bed with a notebook and pen, creating a relaxing writing environment

7. Set and Smash Goals  

We have ambitions and goals, but achieving those dreams requires a strategy. That’s the purpose of journalling. Outlining your objectives and the measures necessary to reach them can create a road map for success. Maintaining a journal allows you to stay motivated and accountable by allowing you to monitor your progress. ‎

For more information on goal-setting, you can check out my blog.  As Ryan R. Bailey highlights in his article, ‘Goal Setting and Action Planning for Health Behaviour Change,’ journaling can be a powerful tool for achieving health-related goals.

8. Improve Your Communication Skills and Emotional Intelligence

Words have power; the more you use them, the more familiar they will become. Maintaining a journal can help you improve your vocabulary and communication skills by allowing you to express yourself more confidently and clearly. Writing in a journal may enhance your ability to advocate for yourself, whether in a meeting, sending an email, or during a difficult conversation.

9. Improve Your Memory—One Blank Page at a Time

How often do you forget what happened during the day or what you have learned? We can all experience forgetfulness or brain fog from time to time, whether navigating the workplace, learning something new, or working through our daily to-do list.

Things can become more ingrained in your memory when you write them down. You’re keeping memories and improving your capacity to recall information when needed by routinely recording your experiences. Your journal becomes a gold mine of notes you may return to whenever you choose.‎

10. Heal and Grow More Thoroughly

Although obstacles in life can leave their mark, writing provides a therapeutic avenue to focus on yourself. Writing in a journal pushes you to go that bit deeper by identifying any barriers preventing you from moving forward. Journalling can be challenging if you are working through intrusive negative thoughts that are causing you to have challenging emotions such as shame or anger.

You can read more about managing shame in my blog.  If you are navigating your way around difficult situations. In that case, it is essential to remember you can reach out for support from trusted friends or family or professional help if you need extra help.

If you feel journalling can help you, the following steps are an excellent way to get started:

  • Establish a Habit: Decide on a time that works best for you, whether before bedtime or first thing in the morning.
  • Take Small Steps: It’s okay to miss a day; it doesn’t mean you should give up. Instead, pick up your pen again and get back to it whenever you are ready, even if you restart with a single line.
  • Be Honest: It’s your place to explore your inner world, so write from your heart, which can bring you many positive experiences.
  • Experiment with Different Formats: There are many types of journalling, such as bullet journalling, expressive writing, drawing images, and gratitude journalling.

Final Verdict: Your Journey Starts Today

Writing in a journal aids positive change, which can bring many benefits. You have a rare opportunity to develop a close relationship with yourself. Writing down your inner thoughts creates a safe space to explore your feelings, objectives, needs and preferences. Daily journalling is a simple yet powerful activity that can transform your life by improving communication skills and personal growth. Learn about the top 10 benefits of daily journalling and how it can help you reach your full potential.

Taking the first step towards journalling is could be the best thing you do today, for personal development, better health, and gaining a greater sense of self.  What are you waiting for, grab that paper and pen!

References:

Pennebaker, J. W., & Seagal, J. D. (1999). Emotional and physical health benefits of expressive writing. Advances in Psychiatric Treatment, 5(1), 13-19. https://doi.org/10.1192/apt.5.1.13

Smyth, J. M., & Pennebaker, J. W. (2019). Exploring the links between expressive writing and well-being: What we know, what we don’t know, and what we need to know. Frontiers in Psychology, 10, 2047. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2019.02047

Top 5 Tips for Setting Goals and Achieving Them

Top 5 Tips for Setting Goals and Achieving Them

Research shows that setting clear, structured goals significantly increases the likelihood of achieving them. Bailey (2019) explores this in Goal Setting and Action Planning for Health Behavior Change, emphasising the importance of a step-by-step approach—especially when working towards health-related goals. According to Bailey, action planning provides a clear path to success, ensuring efforts are focused and effective.

But goal setting isn’t just about achievement; it’s about taking control of your life and making meaningful progress. It’s easy to get distracted by daily demands, but setting personal goals—not just academic or career-focused ones—can be just as valuable. Achieving a goal doesn’t just move you forward; it boosts confidence, enhances self-esteem, and supports mental well-being.

No matter your age, it’s never too late (or too early) to start goal setting. Research by the National Foundation for Educational Research highlights that goal-setting frameworks, such as SMART goals, improve motivation and academic performance (Lord, Atkinson, & Mitchell, 2008). If you’re in college or university, now is the perfect time to develop this powerful habit. If you’re interested in learning more about daily planning tips, check out my blog.

1. Setting the Foundation: Writing and Defining Your Goals

Writing down your long-term goals is the first step towards turning aspirations into reality. Reflect on what is truly important to you and where you envisage yourself in the future. It could be in one month or year—whatever works for you. Gaining a clear vision of your goal is an important part of the goal-setting process.

If you only have vague goals, a good strategy is to get creative, design a vision board, and find photos and quotes that grab your attention.  Visualising a specific goal can bring it to life and give you a clear vision of where you want to be in the future. Also, getting creative is fun and has many mental health benefits.

Remember, a goal doesn’t have to be something extreme, such as running a marathon or skydiving (although it can be if that’s what you want!). Your personal goals can be anything that’s important to you, whether health or professional, or you want to focus on personal development goals.

Setting one goal can positively impact other areas of your life.  For instance, a personal development goal could be to boost your confidence and self-esteem. Increasing your confidence and self-esteem can open doors to new experiences, and you will learn to trust your decisions more. Personal development goals can be the best way to set the foundations for practical goal setting.  As you set new goals, discover how the role of reflection can support your progress in my blog.

2. Milestone Setting: Tracking Achievements

Once you have your big goal, the next step is to break it down into smaller goals and then break these smaller goals down into more manageable tasks.  A big goal can feel overwhelming if you imagine yourself standing at the bottom of a vast mountain; the top can seem so far off, and reaching the top can feel unachievable. However, climbing that mountain can feel doable when you break it down into manageable tasks.

A good idea is to set aside time to note down everything you need to do to complete a task. Putting pen to paper can give you a clearer understanding of what you must do to achieve that task and increase your chances of success.  It can often be the smaller tasks that are the most important steps, so getting these onto paper can be highly beneficial.

Keeping a to-do list can be an excellent way to keep you on track; you can then update it daily, marking off your achievements.  Your achievements are your driver to move forward, so it’s so important to celebrate them. When completing tasks, it can be helpful to identify any barriers you may come across and then do some problem-solving to decide how to overcome them. Balancing this with self-care is essential, as working towards your goals can be hard work. Reminding yourself of ‘why’ you want to reach your goal is another factor that will help drive you towards the finishing line.

man jumping through gap in cliffs signifying reaching your goals

3. Make Goal-Setting Achievable

I advocate for thinking big and not letting anything stand in your way, but it is also essential to set realistic goals. It’s about getting the balance right, as there are some things you need to consider when setting goals. For example, suppose the big goal is to climb Kilimanjaro. In that case, there is a lot to consider, such as physical fitness, mental well-being, the possibility of altitude sickness, booking vaccines, and available finances.

The next step towards positive goal setting is devising an action plan. To do this, write down the different factors you need to consider. Then, note the actionable steps it will take to complete each factor. You could work on them individually, or you might work on some simultaneously.

Pushing yourself out of your comfort zone when setting goals is positive, as ambitious goals are great for personal growth. However, you also want to avoid getting overwhelmed. So, think big, but also consider your capabilities and the available resources before setting goals, tasks, and time scales.

4. Set Timeframes: Assign Deadlines to Create a Sense of Urgency

Time scales and deadlines are essential to goal setting as they keep you on track, make you accountable, and can prevent procrastination and perfectionism.  You can gauge your progress by setting target dates for each task, including the small goals. There can be room for movement with this; it can be challenging to know how long a particular task will take, as it can depend on your current situation, such as external factors.

However, having an estimated timescale can keep you motivated as you know that each minute you work on the task brings you closer to reaching the end goal. For greater goal-setting success, you must clearly understand what you must do to achieve the big goal. You can then break this down into daily tasks.

man with arms outstretched enjoying freedom representing reaching goals

5. Seek Accountability and Be Resourceful

Keeping yourself accountable is another crucial part of goal setting. It can be easy to get off track, as other exciting things might appear while you work on a task. If this happens, note down whatever distracted you and spend time on it when you have a planned timeout. Some great online accountability trackers can help with motivation and organisation and keep you accountable.

Sharing your goal with a family member or trusted friend can help keep you accountable. However, if you prefer not to share your goal-setting journey with others, try writing about it in your journal or checking if there are local groups or an online community of people with similar goals. Professional help is also available if you would like a counsellor or coach to help you on your goal-setting journey. You can check out my services page for more information.

Checking your progress regularly is a great way to ensure you’re on the right track. It’s important to remember to celebrate your achievements, even if you feel they’re small steps. After all, small steps can lead to big changes. Having a list of tasks can feel daunting, so take time to look back at what you have achieved with pride.

SMART Goals

SMART goals are a structured approach to goal setting often used by professional coaches. It is also a technique you can implement if you are self-coaching.  The SMART Goal acronym is Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Time-bound.  Let’s break down SMART Goals and what they mean.

  • Specific: Set the goal that you want to accomplish
  • Measurable: Plan how you are going to track your success
  • Achievable: Check your goal is realistic
  • Relevant: Ensure there are beneficial outcomes
  • Time-bound: Create a deadline and prioritise tasks

Following the SMART goal criteria will ensure you clearly understand your goals and confirm they are within reach.

note book with handwritten smart goals open on a table with glasses and sticky notes.

Empowering Yourself Through Self-Coaching

If you are self-coaching rather than working with a professional coach, a great tip is to follow the SMART goals model to keep on track. Reaching your goals can be a transformative journey that can foster growth and resilience.

When you achieve your goals, you prove to yourself that anything is possible when you fully invest in the process. Reaching your goals highlights the power we hold within ourselves.

What to Take into Consideration When Self-Coaching:

  • Understanding Motivation: Intrinsic vs. Extrinsic Motivation

What drives you to achieve your goals? Are you motivated by internal satisfaction (intrinsic motivation) or external rewards (extrinsic motivation)? Understanding what fuels your ambitions can help you tailor your approach and stay committed to long-term success.

  • Overcoming Obstacles: Handling Setbacks and Failures

Resilience is key to goal setting. Challenges, setbacks, or feelings of failure are part of the process. Having strategies in place to navigate obstacles can help you stay focused and continue moving forward, even when progress feels slow.

  • The Importance of Mindset: How a Growth Mindset Supports Goal Achievement

A growth mindset is essential for success. If you believe you can’t reach your goals, you’re far less likely to achieve them. Self-belief and self-esteem play a crucial role in progress—working on these areas can make goal-setting more effective and fulfilling.

  • The Role of Reflection: Reviewing and Revising Goals

Your goals may evolve over time, and that’s okay. Regularly reviewing and adjusting your goals ensures they remain relevant to your life and aspirations. Life changes, new interests, or shifting priorities can impact your objectives, so checking in with yourself can keep you on the right track.

  • The Power of Visualisation and Affirmations

A clear mental image of your goal can reinforce your motivation and help you stay committed. Visualisation makes your goal feel real, helping you take inspired action, while affirmations strengthen positive beliefs and self-confidence.

  • The Impact of Environment: Creating a Space for Success

Your surroundings influence your mindset and productivity. Having a dedicated space for planning or working toward your goals can improve focus. Similarly, surrounding yourself with supportive people or communities can provide encouragement and accountability.

  • Health and Wellbeing: The Foundation for Goal Achievement

There’s a strong connection between physical health, mental wellbeing, and goal success. Eating a nutritious diet, exercising regularly, and prioritising sleep can improve focus, energy levels, and resilience—making it easier to stay on track.

  • Leveraging Technology: Tools and Apps for Goal Tracking

Tracking progress keeps you motivated. Whether you prefer a journal or digital goal-tracking apps, these tools can boost accountability and help you celebrate milestones along the way.

  • Goal Setting for Different Life Stages

Goals naturally shift as you move through different life stages. What mattered in your student years may differ from your priorities as a parent or professional. Reassessing your goals ensures they align with your current circumstances and aspirations.

  • The Role of Emotional Intelligence in Goal Setting

Emotional awareness and self-regulation play a key role in goal achievement. Stress, motivation, and relationships can all impact your journey. Having tools to manage emotions effectively can help you stay resilient and focused.

Case Study: From Self-Coaching to Professional Guidance

Adam, a 35-year-old IT support specialist, contacted me for life coaching as he struggled to reach his goal through self-coaching. Adam’s goal was to find satisfaction and happiness in his daily life. Adam believed he might need to change his career to achieve this, but he was feeling some resistance and couldn’t decide if this was the correct step.

We explored Adam’s core values, long-term aspirations, and what motivated him. Adam found that creativity, adventure, and friendships were high on his list of values, but these values weren’t showing up much in his life. Subsequently, Adam recognised that his professional life was not causing him to feel dissatisfied, as he spoke positively about his role as an IT specialist. However, he recognised that work had become his sole purpose and identity.

When Adam recognised that his time outside of work was equally important as his time at work, his overall goal changed. With this updated goal in mind, Adam structured a plan and considered any potential barriers. Adam described himself as an introvert, which he felt held him back socially. We discussed Adam’s introverted traits and how he could embrace them by focusing on his strengths and introducing self-care into his life. We also worked on his limiting beliefs around being an introvert.

Counselling and Coaching Approach

We examined Adam’s needs and preferences through a counselling and coaching approach. Adam came up with ideas that aligned with his values: creativity, adventure, and friendships. Adam tried out many new ventures before finding a hobby he is now passionate about; this has increased his social circle, and he feels he has a sense of purpose inside and outside the workplace.

Adam’s situation demonstrates that the first step is to identify the goal entirely. Adam continued to successfully use his self-coaching skills to achieve his ultimate goal while engaged in coaching sessions. During a recent session with Adam, he expressed how these changes had added value to his life, and he now feels he has the happiness and sense of satisfaction that he was searching for when he began self-coaching. Adam felt self-coaching and professional coaching were the best route for him, and overall, he feels a great sense of accomplishment for the hard work he has put into getting to where he is today.

To Conclude

Applying the above tips empowers you to take charge of your goal-setting journey as your coach or mentor.   Self-coaching can be highly beneficial. However, it’s also okay to reach out to a trusted friend or for professional help if you feel you would like that extra bit of support.

References:

Bailey, T. (2019). Goal Setting and Action Planning for Health Behavior Change. Journal of Health Psychology, 24(3), 321-335.

Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (1985). Intrinsic Motivation and Self-Determination in Human Behavior. Springer Science & Business Media.

Lord, P., Atkinson, M., & Mitchell, H. (2008). The Role of Learning Goals in Motivation and Academic Success. National Foundation for Educational Research.

Schunk, D. H., & DiBenedetto, M. K. (2020). Motivation and social-emotional learning: Theory, research, and practice. Contemporary Educational Psychology, 60, 101830.

Grounding Techniques for Anxiety: How to Feel Calm & Present

Grounding Techniques for Anxiety

In today’s fast-paced world, we often urge ourselves to keep pushing forward during tough times. However, this can lead to stress and feelings of overwhelm, which may contribute to anxiety disorders. Grounding techniques offer a powerful method for managing these emotions by helping you reconnect with the present moment and your surroundings.

This blog examines effective ways to incorporate grounding exercises into your daily routine to alleviate stress and anxiety.

Understanding Grounding Techniques for Anxiety

Grounding techniques help you reconnect with your body, thoughts, and the environment around you, offering relief from panic attacks, anxious thoughts, and strong emotions.

Grounding techniques, inspired by practices like “earthing,” such as walking barefoot on natural surfaces, are designed to alleviate anxiety symptoms by soothing the nervous system. These exercises can significantly improve mental well-being and help you regain control over overwhelming feelings.

wpman walking bare foot on a muddy path in a forest representing grounding techniques

Top 7 Grounding Techniques to Try Today

1. 5-4-3-2-1 Technique

The 5-4-3-2-1 technique is a simple but effective way to bring you back to the present moment through sensory awareness. This technique is highly recommended if you are experiencing panic attacks or dealing with anxiety disorders.

Five Things You See: Name five things in your surroundings.

Four Things You Can Touch: Focus your attention on four objects you can physically touch.

Three Things You Hear: Identify three distinct sounds.

Two Things You Can Smell: Recognise two different scents.

One Thing You Like About Yourself: Reflect on one positive trait.

cozy composition with mug, candles and a blanket representing grounding exercises

2. Self-Sooth Box

Create a personalised box filled with comforting and calming items:

  • Affirmations or Quotes: Include positive affirmations or motivational quotes.
  • Photos or Mementoes: Add photos or items that remind you of positive memories.
  • Textured Items: Use soft or comforting textures like fur, leather, or stress-relief toys.
  • Aromatherapy Scents: Include essential oils or scented items that you find relaxing.
  • Snacks: Add something sweet to taste or your favourite snack.
  • Music: Include a playlist of feel-good music.
  • Activities: Add colouring books, puzzles, or mind games.

Customising your box with items that help you feel more at ease empowers you to create a self-soothe box that resonates with you, providing control over your anxiety management and a sense of empowerment.

3. Grab and Describe an Object

When you feel overwhelmed, grabbing and describing an object in detail can help anchor you to the present moment.  This technique redirects negative thoughts and promotes feelings of calm by engaging your mind with your immediate surroundings.

  • Focus on the shape, texture, and colour.
  • Consider the object’s purpose and any personal connection you have with it.

4. Play a Memory Game

Distract your mind from anxious thoughts by playing a memory game. Focusing on memories creates mental distance from negative feelings and helps your brain relax.  Recall things like:

  • Favourite Places: Think of cities or landmarks you’ve visited.
  • Categories: Challenge yourself to list items in specific categories like animals, colours, or foods.

5. Mantras and Positive Affirmations

Using mantras or positive affirmations can shift your mindset and combat anxious thoughts.

  • Create “I am” Statements: Develop affirmations like “I am calm” or “I am in control.”
  • Repeat: Use these statements during stressful moments to reinforce a sense of peace and empowerment.

6. The Water Technique

Visualise yourself as a calm body of water to promote tranquillity and mental clarity.  This exercise helps you stay centred and balanced, making it easier to handle daily challenges with a calm mindset.

  • Breathing Focus: Use deep, deliberate breaths to mimic the flow and serenity of water.
  • Stress Dissipation: Imagine tension and stress dissolving into the water, creating ripples that gradually fade.
  • Emotional Anchoring: Embrace the sense of fluidity and stability that water represents, enhancing your ability to remain grounded.

7. Deep Breathing: Diaphragmatic Breathing

Breathing exercises are crucial for activating the body’s relaxation response. Deep breaths help reduce stress and anxiety by calming the nervous system and improving focus. Try the following methods:

  • Square Breathing: Inhale for four seconds, hold for four, exhale for four, and pause for four seconds.
  • 4-7-8 Breathing:  Inhale for four seconds, hold for seven seconds and exhale for eight seconds.

woman walking in the forest breathing in fresh air representing grounding exercises

Tips for Effective Breathing Exercises

  • Focus: Concentrate on the rhythm of your breath.
  • Posture: Keep a relaxed but upright posture.
  • Environment: Practice in a safe space.
  • Consistency: Make breathing exercises a regular part of your daily routine to help effectively manage anxiety symptoms.

Tips for Consistency

Incorporate these grounding techniques into your daily routine or use them during high-stress moments. Consider setting reminders or establishing a grounding ritual to make these practices a regular part of your life.

Addressing Challenges

If you find it hard to focus on grounding exercises like the 5-4-3-2-1 technique, start with fewer sensory items or practice in a quiet space. Adjust these exercises to suit your needs and create a safe space for practising.

To Conclude

Grounding techniques provide effective strategies for reconnecting with the present moment and achieving a sense of calm when managing stress and anxiety. Different approaches work for different people, so feel free to experiment with these methods to find what works best for you. Creating a diverse toolbox of grounding techniques can greatly enhance your ability to manage anxiety over time.

If you would like personalised guidance on managing anxiety and stress through counselling, grounding exercises and mindfulness practices, you can book a discovery call.

Reference for Further Reading:

Smith, J. (2020). The Role of Breathing in Stress Reduction. Journal of Mental Wellbeing, 15(3), 45-60.

Schedule Your Free Discovery Call

Looking for support with anxiety, phobias, or life transitions? I offer counselling, coaching, and RTT to help you move forward with confidence. Book a free 20-minute discovery call via Zoom to explore the best approach for you, wherever you are in the UK.

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