A woman stands on a cliff with arms open, embracing freedom and confidence. A powerful image symbolising mindset shifts, self-belief, and breaking negative patterns.

Building Self-Confidence: Break Negative Patterns with Small Shifts

Building Self-Confidence and Breaking Negative Patterns

Have you ever felt stuck in the same old loops—thinking the same thoughts, reacting in the same ways, and wondering why it’s so hard to move forward? Those are negative patterns at work. That little voice in your head saying, “I’ll never be good enough,” or maybe you downplay the success you have had as “luck” instead of acknowledging your own hard work (hello imposter syndrome!). Many therapies can help with Imposter Syndrome, especially if it’s a recurring pattern in your life. Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) is one approach that works at a deep subconscious level to break these patterns and build lasting confidence.

These patterns can sneak in slowly, shaping how you see yourself and what you believe is possible. Over time, they chip away at your confidence, keeping you stuck in a cycle of doubt. The thing is, these patterns don’t define you, and they’re not permanent. They can be broken. When you start shifting your mindset—even in small ways—you can build self-confidence that feels real, not forced.

A great way to begin changing these thought loops is through meditation. You can claim a free one below to help you get started!

GRACE: Your Guide to Breaking Patterns

When this happens I like to remind myself of GRACE: Gratitude, Reflection, Alignment, Connection, and Embracing small habits.

Following these steps, using the word GRACE as a reminder for each one, helps you replace those negative loops with something stronger, kinder, and more aligned with the person you’re becoming.

G – Gratitude Shifting Your Focus

Negative patterns tend to zero in on what’s missing or what’s wrong. Gratitude is the antidote. It’s not about pretending everything’s perfect; it’s about noticing the good, even in the messy moments.

One thing I do is keep a gratitude jar. Each day, I write one thing I’m thankful for on a post-it note and drop it in the jar. It could be something as small as a quiet morning with a cup of tea or something big like overcoming a challenge.

When I am feeling low, or have not been talking to myself the way I would a friend, I pull one out, and it’s like a little reminder of how far I’ve come.

If a jar doesn’t feel like your thing, just jotting it down in a notebook works too.

Reflection: Recognising the Patterns

Breaking free from old patterns starts with understanding them. Journaling is a great way to spot what’s holding you back. Take a few minutes to write about a situation that felt tough recently—what were you thinking or feeling at the time?

You might notice a recurring thought, like, “I always mess things up.” That’s the pattern. Once you’ve recognised it, try reframing it. Instead of, “I always mess things up,” you might write, “I’m learning from my experiences, even when things don’t go perfectly.”

Journaling isn’t about being perfect on the page; it’s about giving yourself a space to explore, process, and start to shift the way you think. If you want to explore self-reflection and how it supports personal growth, you might find Achieving Your Goals: The Role of Reflection helpful.

Woman gazing into a mirror on sandy ground, representing self-reflection, mindset shifts, and personal transformation.

Alignment: Stepping Into Your Future Self

Visualisation is one of the most powerful ways to interrupt negative thought patterns and create something new. Close your eyes and imagine yourself at your most confident. Where are you? What can you hear or smell? Maybe it’s the scent of fresh coffee in your dream workspace, or the sounds of nature on a peaceful walk.

Now focus on how it feels to be that person—calm, confident, or energised. Let yourself sit with those feelings. This isn’t about wishful thinking; it’s about connecting with the version of you that already exists deep down. Techniques like Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) can support this process by helping to clear any subconscious blocks that might be holding you back.

The more you practise visualising with sensory details, the more real it starts to feel, and you will find that you start to make choices that align with that version of you.

Connecting your body and mind with Movement

When negative patterns weigh you down, even small movements can help shift your mindset. A short walk, a stretch, or even a couple of minutes dancing around the kitchen can shake off that stuck feeling.

Movement creates momentum—it reminds you of what your body can do and helps you break out of that mental fog.

You don’t need a strict routine or fancy gear—just find what feels good in the moment.

Embracing Small Habits

Big changes start with small, consistent actions. It’s not about overhauling your entire life in one go—it’s about finding one thing you can do differently today.

Maybe you decide to start your morning with a deep breath and a clear intention, like, “Today, I’ll focus on what I can control.” Or you add a few minutes of journaling to your evening routine.

These tiny shifts might not seem like much at first, but over time, they create ripples that can transform how you see yourself.

If you’re ready to shift those old patterns, remember GRACE:

Gratitude to notice what’s good.
Reflection to understand and reframe negative thoughts.
Alignment with your future self through visualisation.
Connection with your body and mind through movement.
Embracing small habits to create momentum.

Self-confidence isn’t something you wake up with one day—it’s something you build, step by step.

Each time you challenge a negative thought or take a small action, you’re proving to yourself that change is possible. You’ve got this.

Try My Free Meditations for Confidence and Calm!

If you’re ready to break free from old patterns and build lasting confidence, my free meditations might be helpful. They’re designed to help you shift your mindset and reconnect with your inner strength. You can download them here.

Woman sitting cross-legged, wearing headphones, listening to a meditation session.

A couple walking hand in hand along the beach, symbolising connection, trust, and emotional support in relationships.

Navigating Anxiety in Relationships

When Anxiety Makes You Overthink Everything in Your Relationship

For some, anxiety stems from past experiences. If you’ve been hurt before, your mind may be on high alert, looking for signs that it could happen again. For others, anxious thoughts may be tied to self-worth—wondering if you’re lovable, if you’re too much, or if your needs are valid.

It’s important to remind yourself that anxiety doesn’t mean something is wrong with you or your relationship. But if it’s causing distress or making it hard to feel secure, there are ways to ease the constant overthinking.

Breaking the Cycle of Overthinking in Relationships

Notice the Thought Spiral

Anxiety often starts with one small worry and quickly snowballs. A short reply from your partner might trigger thoughts like, Are they annoyed with me? Did I do something wrong? What if they’re losing interest? Before you know it, you’re imagining a worst-case scenario that isn’t based on reality.

Recognising when this happens is the first step. Instead of following the spiral, pause and ask yourself: What do I actually know to be true right now? Separating facts from anxious assumptions can help ground you in the present.

Stop Seeking Reassurance on Repeat

It’s natural to want reassurance when you feel uncertain, but if you find yourself constantly asking for it—needing to hear Are we okay? multiple times a day—it may be a sign that anxiety is in control. The comfort you get from reassurance is usually short-lived, and before long, the doubts creep back in.

Try to soothe yourself instead. Remind yourself of the stability in your relationship, reflect on moments of connection, and practise self-validation rather than needing constant external confirmation.

Calm Your Nervous System First

Overthinking is a symptom of anxiety, not the cause. If your body is in a heightened state—tight chest, racing heart, uneasy stomach—your thoughts will follow suit. Before you try to untangle a worry, focus on calming your nervous system. My blog on grounding techniques provides more ways to calm your nervous system.

Some techniques I recommend include:

Square Breathing: Breathe in for four seconds, hold your breath for another four, then exhale gently for four seconds before pausing again for four. Repeating this pattern a few times can help steady your breathing and signal to your nervous system that it’s safe to relax.

5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique: When anxiety pulls you into overthinking, try this to which will help bring you back to the present.ake a moment to notice your surroundings. Find five things you can see, four things you can touch, three sounds you can hear, two scents in the air, and one taste in your mouth. It’s a great way to break the cycle of anxious thoughts and reconnect with your surroundings.

Progressive Muscle Relaxation: Tense your muscles, starting in your feet, and then relax, moving through muscle groups up to your head to release physical tension.

Close-up of a couple holding hands outdoors, symbolising support and connection in relationships affected by anxiety.

Challenge the Anxious Narrative

Anxiety has a habit of convincing you that your worst fears are facts. But just because you think something, doesn’t mean it’s true. If you catch yourself assuming the worst—They’re being quiet, so they must be upset with me—challenge it. My blog on overthinking provides more information on how to overcome it.

Ask yourself: Is there another explanation? Maybe they’ve had a long day. Maybe they’re preoccupied with their own thoughts. Not everything is about you, and that’s a good thing.

Build Your Own Sense of Security

If you rely on your partner to manage your anxiety, it can create pressure on the relationship. True security comes from within, not from another person constantly proving their love.

Spend time strengthening your own sense of self. Invest in friendships, hobbies, and routines that make you feel good. The more fulfilled and grounded you feel within yourself, the less you’ll rely on external validation to feel okay.

When to Seek Support

If relationship anxiety is affecting your well-being or making it hard to enjoy your connection, professional support can help.

Therapy can offer tools to break the cycle of anxious thoughts and build a healthier mindset, so you feel more secure in yourself and your relationships. If you check my home page, you can read about different approaches to therapy that help overcome anxiety.

You don’t have to figure this out alone. If anxiety is affecting your relationship and you’d like support, I’m here to help.

Red-haired woman in a blue blouse practicing mindfulness with hands in a yoga pose, symbolising overcoming perfectionism and inner peace.

Overcoming Perfectionism – Letting Go and Living Fully

Growing Up with the Pressure to Be Perfect

Some people might wonder—why is overcoming perfectionism important? Isn’t it a good thing to strive for the best?

For those of us in Gen X—and even some older Millennials—we grew up in a world that told us being perfect was the ultimate goal. The perfect score, the flawless A-star report card, excelling at everything we tried—these were the measures of success.

The Exhausting Ideal of ‘Having It All’

And it wasn’t just about achievements. As women, we were told we could have it all—the career, the looks, the partner, the money, the holidays, the beautiful children, and the picture-perfect home.

Even writing it all down feels exhausting, let alone trying to juggle everything and live up to some imagined ideal—no doubt shaped by watching TV shows where someone managed to do it all and make it look effortless.

Why Overcoming Perfectionism Matters

And that’s exactly why we need to break free from the perfectionist cycle. We are exhausted! Luckily, things are starting to change. Schools and workplaces have begun to realise that putting this kind of pressure on young people isn’t helpful, and they’ve adapted the way they teach, grade, and reward success.

But for those of us who grew up in the 70s, 80s, and 90s, that pressure runs deep. The belief that our worth is tied to our achievements is hard to shake, and we continue striving, pushing, and measuring ourselves against an impossible standard.

What Is Perfectionism, Really?

Perfectionism is often defined as the relentless pursuit of flawlessness, accompanied by excessively high standards and an overly critical self-evaluation. But here’s the truth—perfection, by its very definition, is practically impossible to achieve.

And yet, we chase it. We believe that if we can just do everything right, life will fall into place. But perfectionism doesn’t lead to happiness; it leads to stress, anxiety, and feeling like we’re never quite enough.

It can show up in so many ways—procrastinating because you’re afraid of doing something wrong, avoiding opportunities because you’re scared of failure, or constantly feeling like your efforts aren’t good enough, no matter how much you achieve. So, how do we begin to break free from perfectionism and embrace a life that feels more balanced and fulfilling?

Dark-haired woman making a stop sign gesture, symbolising the importance of pausing and breaking free from perfectionism.

The PAUSE Method: 5 Steps to Letting Go of Perfectionism

When I talk about overcoming perfectionism, I don’t mean giving up on your goals—goals are crucial—nor should you lower your standards. What I do mean is that we need to create a more balanced and realistic approach to life—one that allows space for mistakes, growth, and self-compassion.

That’s where PAUSE comes in—a simple way to remind yourself to take a step back and approach life with more kindness and flexibility. Setting goals that are adaptable and achievable can help you make progress without feeling like every misstep is a failure. If you’re looking for a better way to set goals that support your success, check out my blog on Ditching Resolutions and Setting Goals for Lasting Success.

P – ‘Permit’ Yourself to Be Imperfect

Perfectionism thrives on the idea that mistakes equal failure. But mistakes are how we grow and learn. Give yourself permission to be imperfect, to try, and to not get everything right the first time.

When you find the inner critic (the voice in your head) start to berate you, instead of listening reframe your thoughts.

Swap phrases like “I should have done better” with “I did my best with what I knew at the time.” By letting go of the idea that everything has to be perfect, you open yourself up to new opportunities and experiences.

A – ‘Accept’ Progress Over Perfection

One of the biggest struggles with perfectionism is feeling like if it’s not perfect, it’s not worth doing. But progress is always better than perfection. Taking small, imperfect steps is far better than staying stuck in fear of not getting it “just right.”

Set small, achievable goals and celebrate your wins—no matter how small they seem. Remind yourself that done is better than perfect, and every step forward is a step in the right direction.

U – ‘Understand’ Your Triggers

Perfectionism is often driven by experiences and expectations—whether from childhood, work environments, or social media comparisons. Understand what those triggers are and reflect. Is it pressure from others? Fear of judgment? A desire for control?

Recognising these triggers can help you take a step back and challenge them, rather than letting them dictate your actions.

S – ‘Show’ Yourself Kindness

We can be so hard on ourselves—constantly pushing, criticising, and comparing. But treating yourself with kindness is one of the most powerful ways to break the perfectionism cycle.

Start by noticing how you talk to yourself. If your inner critic is harsh, ask yourself: “What would I think of a friend who said this to me? And would I say this to a friend?”

If the answer is no, it’s time to change the script. Practising self-compassion means allowing yourself to struggle, to take breaks, and to acknowledge that you’re doing your best

E – ‘Embrace’ Flexibility

Perfectionism is rigid and unforgiving, but life isn’t meant to be lived that way. Learning to embrace flexibility allows you to adapt when things don’t go according to plan—and still feel good about it.

Instead of focusing on strict goals or expectations, try being open to different outcomes. Flexibility gives you the freedom to enjoy the journey rather than feeling tied to a single destination.

How RTT Can Help Break the Cycle

For many of us, perfectionist tendencies run deep—they’re often tied to beliefs we’ve carried since childhood. Breaking free from perfectionism isn’t about lowering your standards but about developing a healthier, more balanced mindset. With the right support, you can shift from constant self-criticism to self-compassion and confidence.

If perfectionism is holding you back, I offer personalised one-to-one support to help you overcome limiting patterns and create lasting change. You can learn more about how I work here.

Moving Forward with PAUSE

Breaking free from perfectionism isn’t about giving up—it’s about living in a way that feels more aligned with who you are, not who you think you should be.

By giving yourself permission to be imperfect, accepting progress, understanding your triggers, showing kindness, and embracing flexibility, you can create a healthier, more fulfilling way of living.

Women in an orange shirt drinking red wine considering stopping drinking alcohol

Wine O’clock to Wellness: How to Stop Drinking Alcohol with RTT

Are you ready stop drinking alcohol and step into the life you deserve? For many, drinking starts as a way to unwind, socialise, or manage stress. Over time, it can become a deeply rooted habit, even when you’re ready to stop.

Life has many periods of transition, whether it’s starting a new career, becoming a parent, entering midlife, or adjusting to a new routine. These moments of change often prompt us to reflect on our habits and whether they align with the future we envisage. Reducing or stopping alcohol can be a powerful way to embrace these transitions and step into a healthier, more confident version of yourself.

How Drinking Became Normalised for Women

In recent years, drinking alcohol, especially wine and gin, has been glamorised and almost encouraged as a way for women to wind down. Popular phrases such as “wine o’clock” and “live, laugh. love and drink wine” have become part of everyday language, normalising the habit of drinking in the evening. While these phrases might seem harmless, they can make it easy to brush over the impact alcohol has on our health and well-being.

If you’re considering cutting back or if you want to stop drinking alcohol altogether, there are many pathways to explore, which include self-help techniques and professional help.

In this blog, I’ll explore why we turn to alcohol, the benefits of letting it go, and how Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) can help you create lasting change. If hypnosis isn’t for you, take a look at my services page for alternative approaches.

sign with the handwritten message wine o'clock

What Kind of Drinker Are You?

When it comes to drinking habits, everyone’s relationship with alcohol is different. For some, alcohol is part of their everyday routine, while for others, it might only appear in social settings or at stressful times. Reflecting on your drinking habits can provide clarity and help you take the next steps toward change.

The Motivational Model of Alcohol Use suggests that people drink for various reasons, which generally fall into four categories:

Social Drinking: Consuming alcohol to enhance social experiences or fit in with a group.
Coping Drinking: Using alcohol to manage stress, anxiety, or emotional pain.
Enhancement Drinking: Drinking to heighten positive emotions and increase excitement.
Conformity Drinking: Drinking to avoid social rejection or meet the perceived expectations of self or others.

This model highlights that drinking isn’t just about the habit itself—it’s often tied to deeper emotional and psychological needs. Reflecting on these motivations can give you insight into your own relationship with alcohol and help you decide which steps to take to stop drinking alcohol.

Do I Need to Know What Kind of Drinker I Am?

Discovering what type of drinker you are can help you better understand your drinking patterns and triggers. Furthermore, the way you identify your relationship with alcohol may provide insight as to why you drink. However, what matters most is how it impacts your life and whether it aligns with the person you want to be.

When exploring your drinking habits, it can be helpful to consider:

How does alcohol affect your health, relationships, and goals?
Would reducing or stopping drinking improve your quality of life?

Whether you identify as alcohol-dependent, a social drinker, or simply someone with a habit they’d like to change, the decision to reflect and take steps forward is a powerful one.

Why Do We Begin to Rely on Alcohol?

Alcohol often fills a gap in our emotional or social lives, even when we don’t realise it:

A Way to Relax: A glass of wine after work, or once the kids are in bed, becomes a ritual for unwinding.
Coping with Stress: A drink can feel like a quick escape from life’s challenges.
Easing Boredom: When drinking, the evening hours may seem to pass more quickly, giving a sense of “doing something.”
Numbing Emotions: When facing challenges, alcohol can act as a distraction or coping mechanism, keeping complex thoughts or feelings at bay.
A Social Habit: Gatherings or nights out often feel incomplete without alcohol, and for those with social anxiety, it might seem like a way to feel more at ease.

During times of transition, such as starting a new job, moving house, or navigating a breakup or empty nest, it’s easy to rely on alcohol as a way to manage stress and uncertainty. However, these patterns often keep us stuck in cycles that don’t align with the changes we want.

How to Stop Drinking Alchohol Safely: Heavy Drinkers and Medical Advice

If you drink significantly more than the recommended guidelines for alcohol consumption, it’s crucial to approach stopping with care. The recommended limit in the UK is a maximum of 14 units of alcohol per week, spread over three or more days.

For those drinking well above this amount, stopping alcohol suddenly can be dangerous and may lead to withdrawal symptoms, including:

Anxiety or restlessness
Tremors or sweating
Nausea and vomiting
Severe symptoms such as seizures, hallucinations, or confusion

Alcohol withdrawal seizures are a serious risk for heavy drinkers who stop suddenly without medical supervision. If you believe you may be at risk, seek medical advice before quitting. Your GP or a specialist service such as Alcoholics Anonymous can provide tailored support and may recommend a medically supervised detox to ensure your safety.

It is important to remember that reaching out for help is a positive step and never something you should be ashamed of. You don’t have to navigate this alone; medical professionals and support services are here to help you take the first step toward a healthier future.

woman looking sad sitting at a table contemplating drinking wine

How Hypnotherapy and RTT Can Help You to Stop Drinking Alcohol

Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) is more than just talking about change—it’s about experiencing it at the deepest level. Using a combination of hypnotherapy, cognitive techniques, and personalised support, RTT works with your subconscious mind to:

Uncover the root causes of your reliance on alcohol.
Reframe old beliefs into empowering, positive ones.
Equip you with lasting tools to thrive without alcohol.

For a long time, hypnotherapy has been recognised as a powerful tool for addressing habits and behaviours, including alcohol consumption. Research supports its effectiveness in helping individuals reframe their relationship with alcohol and achieve lasting change.

Studies have shown that hypnotherapy can be an effective intervention for reducing alcohol consumption. By addressing subconscious beliefs and triggers, hypnosis enables individuals to gain greater control over their drinking habits. These findings align with techniques used in RTT, which combines the principles of hypnotherapy with cognitive and behavioural approaches. By accessing the subconscious mind, RTT helps uncover the deeper reasons behind drinking, reframe those beliefs, and empower you to take steps toward a healthier, alcohol-free life.

The Impact of Alcohol on Your Well-Being

While alcohol may offer temporary relief, its long-term effects can be significant and typical risks and challenges include;

Health Risks: Liver damage, heart disease, and increased cancer risks are only a few of the health concerns related to the overuse of alcohol.
Mental Health Struggles: Alcohol can worsen anxiety and depression, leaving you feeling stuck in a cycle.
Relationship Challenges can erode trust, communication, and connection with loved ones.

Life transitions offer a unique opportunity to step back and evaluate what’s no longer serving you. By reducing or stopping drinking, you can build a foundation of health and clarity that supports your next chapter.

Your Transformation Starts Here

Imagine this:

Waking up every morning feeling energised and clear-headed.
Letting go of the guilt or regret you’ve been carrying about your drinking habits.
Embracing your authentic self, the person you are without alcohol.
Facing life transitions with calm confidence, knowing you can handle change without relying on a drink.
Enjoying the financial freedom that comes with not spending money on alcohol.
Living a life that truly aligns with your goals, values, and dreams.

Reducing or stopping drinking isn’t just about what you leave behind—it’s about everything you gain. Whether you’re cutting down or taking steps towards an alcohol-free life, finding the right approach for you can make all the difference.

Self-Help Techniques for Reducing or Stopping Alcohol

If you’re trying to stop drinking alcohol or cut back, incorporating self-help techniques into your daily routine can make a significant difference. Here are some practical methods to support your efforts:

Identify Your Triggers

Reflect on when and why you feel the urge to drink. Common triggers include stress, boredom, social pressure, or emotional distress. Once you know your triggers, you can prepare alternative coping strategies, such as journalling, walking, or practising deep breathing.

Set Clear Goals

Decide whether you want to cut down or stop drinking completely. Set specific, achievable goals, like limiting yourself to a certain number of drinks per week or avoiding alcohol during weekdays. As you move forward tracking your progress can help you stay accountable and motivated.

Replace the Habit

Find healthier alternatives to fill the time or emotional space that drinking occupies. This might include exercise, meditation, listening to pod-casts, reading, cooking, or taking up a new hobby. Substituting alcohol with non-alcoholic drinks, like sparkling water or herbal teas, can also help ease the transition.

Create a Support System

Share your challenges and intentions with a trusted friend or family member who can support you. You may also find it helpful to join online communities or local support groups where others are on the same journey. Knowing you’re not alone can be incredibly encouraging.

Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness can help you stay in the present and become aware of your thoughts and emotions. When the urge to drink arises, take a moment to pause, take a deep breath, and ask yourself what you’re feeling. This awareness can help you choose a healthier response.

Celebrate Your Wins

Acknowledge your progress, even if it seems small. Whether declining a drink at a party or going a week without alcohol, celebrating these victories builds confidence and reinforces your commitment to change.

woman's hand round a cup drinking a healthy herbal tea

A Supportive Tool for Change

If you’re looking for a supportive approach to exploring your relationship with alcohol, techniques like Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) can help uncover your triggers behind drinking and empower you to create lasting change. Whether you choose a personalised session or a hypnosis recording, RTT offers tools to support your journey.

Are You Ready to Take the Next Step?

Life transitions are a time for personal growth, and every step you take guides you towards a healthier version of yourself. Whether you’re cutting back, pr stopping drinking alcohol completely, or exploring new coping strategies, your decision to create positive change is a positive first step.

If you’re looking for tailored support, a personalised RTT session can help you uncover and reframe the deeper reasons behind your habits. For a more cost effective and flexible approach, the ‘Stop Drinking Hypnosis’ recording offers an accessible way to start making positive changes at your own pace.

References:

Cooper, M. L. (1994). Motivations for alcohol use among adolescents: Development and validation of a four-factor model. Psychological Assessment, 6(2), 117–128. https://doi.org/10.1037/1040-3590.6.2.117

Alladin, A. (2008). Cognitive Hypnotherapy: An Integrated Approach to the Treatment of Emotional Disorders. Wiley.

Woman sitting at her work desk vaping reflecting on stopping vaping

Ready to Stop Vaping? Here’s How to Break Free for Good

For many women, vaping starts as a way to manage stress, transition from smoking, or simply get through a busy day. It can feel like a harmless habit—one that slots easily into your routine. But over time, what started as an occasional puff can become something harder to let go of.

If you’ve been thinking about quitting but keep putting it off, you’re not alone. Breaking free from nicotine isn’t just about willpower—it’s about understanding the triggers, routines, and beliefs that keep you reaching for your vape. Taking a step back and reflecting on your habits can be a powerful tool in making lasting changes. If you’re ready to take control and set meaningful goals, you might find this helpful: Achieving Your Goals: The Role of Reflection.

Why is Vaping So Hard to Quit?

One of the biggest reasons vaping is so difficult to stop is how easily it fits into daily life. Unlike cigarettes, which come with social and physical barriers, vaping is discreet. You can do it indoors, at work, or on the go without anyone noticing.

Another challenge is nicotine dependence. Whether you switched from smoking or started vaping on its own, nicotine is addictive. The cravings can feel relentless, and even when you want to stop, your brain may tell you otherwise.

There’s also a lot of uncertainty around vaping’s long-term effects. We know the dangers of smoking, but with vaping, research is still emerging. This lack of clarity can make quitting feel less urgent. But just because something isn’t proven to be as harmful as smoking doesn’t mean it’s harmless.

Inspirational quote reading ‘Positive energy knows no boundaries’ in a calming design, reinforcing motivation and change.

The Real Cost of Vaping

When people think about quitting, they often focus on nicotine cravings. But stepping away from vaping is about more than just breaking a physical habit—it’s about taking back control.

Your Health – While marketed as a safer option than cigarettes, vaping still affects your lungs, heart, and overall well-being. Many people report shortness of breath, an irritated throat, or increased anxiety.
Your Money – Small purchases add up fast. The cost of refills, pods, and devices can be surprising when you add it all up over a year.
Your Time & Freedom – How often do you find yourself automatically reaching for your vape without even thinking? Quitting means no more planning your day around cravings.

Breaking the Cycle – What Actually Works?

Quitting vaping isn’t just about avoiding your device—it’s about rewiring the habit. Many people try to quit using sheer willpower, but long-term success often requires a mix of habit change, mindset shifts, and practical tools.

Some of the most effective methods include:

Nicotine Replacement Therapy (NRT) – Patches, gum, or lozenges can help ease cravings while you adjust to life without vaping.
Behavioural Changes – Identifying when and why you vape can help you replace it with healthier alternatives.
Mindset Work – Addressing subconscious beliefs and stress triggers can make quitting feel easier and more natural. Methods like hypnotherapy and cognitive behavioural approaches can help break the mental and emotional connection to vaping.

Your Next Step to Stop Vaping for Good

If you’re ready to quit, the first step is understanding your personal triggers and finding a strategy that works for you. Whether you choose NRT, habit coaching, or therapeutic approaches like hypnosis, the key is having the right support to stay on track.

You don’t have to go it alone. I offer one-to-one sessions designed to help you break free from vaping in a way that fits your lifestyle. If you’re looking for personalised support, you can explore how I work here.

The first step is yours—are you ready to take it?

Mature woman enjoying a peaceful moment on the beach, symbolising calm and empowerment in managing menopause and ADHD

Balancing Acts: ADHD and Menopause

For many women, the onset of perimenopause symptoms and menopause marks a significant life transition. Menopause is a natural part of ageing, bringing many physical, cognitive and emotional changes.

But what happens when this transitional life stage coincides with ADHD?

For some women, menopause might be the first time they recognise that they have been living their life with ADHD. When these two conditions overlap, they can bring many new challenges, and their symptoms can be confusing and overwhelming and significantly impact a woman’s quality of life. This blog explores the intersection of ADHD and perimenopause/menopause. Let’s delve into how ADHD and menopause interact and what you can do to manage them both effectively.

graphic of a woman in a blue top sitting down contemplating the menopause

ADHD in Women

ADHD traits in women usually present with problems around executive functioning and emotional regulation. These traits can be highly challenging; unfortunately, until recent years, the traits may not have been recognised by medical professionals or mistaken for other conditions such as anxiety and depression.

Many women receive an ADHD diagnosis after years of struggling with daily life. A late diagnosis can often come at the time of menopause when hormonal fluctuations can trigger a range of cognitive, behavioural and physical changes that can have a life-altering impact.

Cognitive Shifts During Menopause

Menopause occurs due to hormonal fluctuations, typically between ages 45 and 55. Although, perimenopause can start much earlier. During this time, the body undergoes significant hormonal shifts, particularly in oestrogen levels. These hormonal changes can lead to cognitive symptoms, often referred to as menopausal brain or brain fog. During menopause, you might forget things more often, struggle to concentrate or feel mentally sluggish. The impact of these hormonal changes can lead to other issues, such as sleep problems, emotional dysregulation, mood changes, fatigue, disorganisation, and executive functioning issues.

Does this sound familiar? These symptoms can mirror ADHD, making it difficult to distinguish between the two. For women with ADHD, the symptoms of menopause can feel like their ADHD traits are suddenly much worse, adding another layer of challenges to daily life. As well as cognitive changes, women can notice physical changes such as weight gain, and they may experience sudden hot flashes; together, these cognitive and physical symptoms can have an impact on confidence and self-esteem.

Why Symptoms Can Intensify During Perimenopause and Menopause

Why do ADHD and menopause seem to overlap with such intensity? New research on the relationship between ADHD and perimenopause/menopause is still developing, but studies suggest that decreased oestrogen and progesterone levels can heighten the traits of ADHD. ADHD often involves deficiencies in dopamine, a neurotransmitter which is necessary for managing attention and emotional responses. During perimenopause, the decline in oestrogen can disrupt dopamine regulation, leading to symptoms such as forgetfulness, brain fog, and emotional dysregulation.

Dopamine is essential for attention, motivation, and reward processing, and oestrogen levels can influence its production and regulation. Research from 2021 indicates that a decline in oestrogen can intensify ADHD symptoms by affecting dopamine functioning.

The Challenges of Diagnosis and Misdiagnosis

One of the challenges women face during menopause is the potential for misdiagnosis. Cognitive symptoms associated with menopause, such as forgetfulness and brain fog, can overlap with those of ADHD, and both can be mistaken for depression, anxiety, or the natural effects of ageing. This overlap can sometimes lead to being undiagnosed or a misdiagnosis.

Misdiagnosis is more likely if healthcare providers are not aware of a patient’s history. If you suspect that menopause or ADHD might be influencing your symptoms, bring it up with your doctor. Keeping a detailed journal of your symptoms can be helpful as it will ensure you cover all the relevant issues so you can confidently advocate for yourself during your appointment.

Managing ADHD During Menopause

Although the overlap of ADHD and menopause can be challenging, there are strategies and lifestyle changes that can help manage both:

Medical Treatment: Speak with your GP or healthcare provider about your treatment options. ADHD medication can be effective during menopause; both stimulant and non-stimulant medications are suitable. Hormone replacement therapy (HRT) might also be considered to help stabilise oestrogen levels, potentially lessening both menopausal and ADHD symptoms.

Mindfulness and Stress Reduction: Techniques like mindfulness, meditation, and diaphragmatic breathing can help ease many of the symptoms of ADHD and menopause. Meditation helps regulate emotions, manage stress, and quieten a busy mind. Breathing exercises and relaxation techniques can also support better sleep and relieve physical symptoms such as hot flashes, headaches, and muscle tension. If you’re looking for guided support, my meditation and hypnosis recordings can be a helpful tool in managing these challenges.

Counselling and ADHD Coaching: Working with a professional who understands ADHD and menopause can make a real difference. I offer ADHD coaching and counselling to help you develop practical strategies tailored to your needs, whether that’s managing overwhelm, improving focus, or finding ways to navigate emotional shifts. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) techniques can also support you in reframing negative thought patterns and building confidence. If you’re struggling, talking things through in a supportive space can be a powerful step forward.

lady sitting in a chair contemplating the menopause and ADHD

Establish a Routine: Creating a structured daily routine can provide stability and help manage brain fog and disorganisation. Calendars, planners, and to-do lists can help you remember important appointments. Breaking tasks into smaller, more manageable parts can help with focus and prevent procrastination. Check my blog on goal-setting for some more strategies.

Lifestyle Adjustments: Regular exercise can help regulate mood, increase cognitive functioning, and ease many traits of ADHD. Choose activities you enjoy. If you can get out in the fresh air, a brisk walk is ideal for boosting your overall well-being. Do some brainstorming to find activities you enjoy. Eating the correct foods and taking supplements can help your overall well-being during menopause. A healthy diet for women experiencing menopause can positively impact many areas, including regulating hormones, bones and heart health, weight management and increased energy levels.

Sleep Hygiene: Establish a bedtime routine, as a good night’s sleep will enhance cognitive function and emotional well-being. Night sweats often occur during menopause. Keep your bedroom cool by opening a window or using an air conditioning unit or a fan for a good night’s sleep. Similarly, it can be helpful to wear loose-fitting nightwear to stay calm and light, as well as breathable bedding and natural fibres like cotton. Consider specialist bedding such as moisture-wicking sheets or cooling pillows to help regulate body temperature.

Sharing Your Experiences: You’re Not Alone

It’s important to remember that you don’t have to go through this alone. However, if you feel alone or want to speak to others experiencing similar challenges, consider joining an online community or local support group. These groups can be a great form of emotional support, as you can ask questions and share experiences and information, which can positively impact how you feel.

Three smiley mature woman on the ground facing upwards supporting each other

Conclusion: Embrace the Journey

The intersection of ADHD and menopause can pose challenges, but it’s also an opportunity to learn more about yourself and to find new ways to manage and embrace life’s changes. By understanding how these two conditions interact, you can take proactive steps to improve your overall well-being. Don’t be afraid to seek help, share your story, and connect with others on the same journey.

References

Antoniou, E., Rigas, N., Orovou, E., Papatrechas, A., & Sarella, A. (2021). ADHD Symptoms in Females of Childhood, Adolescent, Reproductive and Menopause Period. Materia Socio-Medica, 33(2), 114–118. https://doi.org/10.5455/msm.2021.33.114-118

A man receiving online therapy on a laptop, illustrating the concept of remote counselling and coaching.

Men’s Mental Health: Breaking Barriers and Embracing Therapy

Mental health challenges don’t discriminate—anyone can struggle, regardless of gender. But despite this, many men hesitate to seek therapy, often feeling they need to handle things on their own. The reality is that therapy can be a powerful tool for working through challenges like anxiety, depression, relationship difficulties, and trauma.

Men experience mental health struggles just as much as women, but they often show up differently. For example, depression in men doesn’t always look like sadness—it can come out as frustration, irritability, or even anger. Suppressing emotions over time can lead to stress, anxiety, and physical symptoms like tension headaches, digestive issues, or muscle pain.

Recognising these patterns is the first step toward change. Therapy offers a safe space to process emotions, develop coping strategies, and build resilience. No one has to struggle alone.

Therapy for Men – The Statistics

Many men mask symptoms of depression with an “I just need to get on with it” mindset. This approach often leads to unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as alcohol use, substance abuse, pornography addiction, or gambling. By the time these habits become problematic, mental health may have already deteriorated significantly.

The statistics reveal just how urgent this issue is:

In 2021, Scotland recorded 556 deaths by suicide, according to the National Records of Scotland (NRS). This is 73% higher than the 206 deaths by suicide among women. Similar patterns are seen across England and Wales.
Men with alcohol dependence are more likely to have a history of conduct disorder or antisocial personality disorder, whereas women with alcohol dependence are more likely to have coexisting mood or anxiety disorders (Dawson et al., 2010).
According to the government’s national well-being survey, men report lower life satisfaction than women.
Only 36% of NHS counselling referrals are for men, despite the widespread need for support.
Nearly three-quarters of missing adults are men.
87% of rough sleepers are men.

These numbers highlight the urgent need for better support, awareness, and accessible mental health resources tailored to men.

Why Do Men Avoid Therapy? Understanding the Barriers

Understanding why many men hesitate to seek therapy is key to breaking the cycle of silence. Here are some common barriers:

Societal Expectations: From a young age, men are often told to be “strong, self-reliant, and in control.” These ingrained beliefs can make seeking help feel like a weakness when, in reality, it’s an act of strength.
Shame and Guilt: Turning to unhealthy coping mechanisms—like alcohol, gambling, or social isolation—can lead to guilt or self-disgust, making it even harder to reach out. However, therapy offers a judgment-free space to process emotions in a healthier way. If shame is something you struggle with, you may find my blog on understanding and managing shame helpful.
Stigma Around Mental Health: The idea that therapy is only for “serious problems” still lingers. But just like physical health, mental health needs regular care and attention. Talking openly about emotions can help normalise therapy as an essential part of self-care.
Fear of Vulnerability: Opening up can feel uncomfortable, especially for men who have been conditioned to keep emotions bottled up. Yet vulnerability is not a weakness—it’s a strength. Therapy can help build emotional resilience and strengthen relationships.

If you’re struggling with these barriers, seeking support is the first step. My counselling and coaching services provide a safe space to explore these challenges and develop practical strategies for personal growth.

Case Study: James’ Story

James, a 38-year-old professional, always considered himself independent. From a young age, he was taught that men should be strong, self-reliant, and in control. When he started struggling with anxiety and stress, he ignored the signs, telling himself to “just get on with it.” Instead of addressing his emotions, he turned to late nights, drinking, and overworking as coping mechanisms.

Despite knowing he wasn’t himself, James hesitated to seek help. Here’s why:

Societal Expectations: Like many men, James believed that asking for support was a sign of weakness, even though he would never judge a friend for doing the same.
Shame and Guilt: His coping mechanisms only made him feel worse, trapping him in a cycle of guilt and self-disgust. He worried that talking about his struggles would make him look “less capable.”
Stigma Around Mental Health: He feared others would think he had serious issues if he went to therapy. It felt easier to push through alone—until it became overwhelming.
Fear of Vulnerability: James found it difficult to open up, even to those closest to him. The idea of sharing his thoughts with a therapist felt uncomfortable and exposing.

Eventually, James decided to seek help. He found that therapy provided a judgment-free space to process emotions, challenge limiting beliefs, and develop healthier coping strategies. Over time, he realised that vulnerability wasn’t a weakness—it was a strength.

How Men Can Benefit From Therapy

Therapy provides a safe, judgment-free space for men to openly discuss their concerns and express themselves freely—without fear of rejection or pressure to “have it all together.”

Working with a therapist can help men develop healthy coping strategies, such as:

✔ Emotional regulation – learning to manage stress, anger, and anxiety in healthier ways.
✔ Meditation & grounding exercises – techniques to stay present and reduce overwhelm.
✔ Journalling – a practical way to process thoughts and emotions.
✔ Assertive communication & boundaries – building confidence in expressing needs and setting limits.

Some men use therapy to process past experiences that may still be affecting them, while others prefer to focus on practical solutions for the present. There’s no right or wrong approach—what matters is finding what works best for you.

The Broader Impact of Therapy for Men

Seeking therapy isn’t just about personal growth—it also has a wider impact on relationships, work, and society as a whole.

Normalising Therapy for Men

By prioritising your mental health, you send a powerful message to those around you—including friends, family, and colleagues—that seeking support is a positive step, not a weakness. Being open about therapy can help break the stigma and encourage a culture where men feel comfortable discussing emotions without fear of judgment.

Strengthening Relationships

Emotional awareness and regulation play a crucial role in building strong, fulfilling relationships. When men understand their emotions and develop healthy coping strategies, they are more likely to:

✔ Communicate more openly with loved ones.
✔ Strengthen bonds with family and friends.
✔ Develop greater empathy, leading to deeper connections.

Enhancing Job Performance

Workplace stress can feel overwhelming, especially when mental health struggles go unaddressed. Therapy can help by:

✔ Reducing work-related stress and anxiety.
✔ Improving focus, decision-making, and productivity.
✔ Enhancing communication and teamwork skills.

Prioritising mental well-being doesn’t just benefit you—it positively influences your personal and professional life, creating a ripple effect that helps normalise therapy for others.

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When To Reach Out for Therapy

Recognising when you might need support is an important step toward improving your mental well-being. If you’ve experienced any of the following, therapy could help you regain balance and clarity:

Feeling more easily irritated than usual.
Experiencing bursts of anger or aggression.
Feeling sad, down, or emotionally drained.
Struggling with overwhelm, stress, or pressure.
Unexpected weight changes (gain or loss) without a clear cause.
Increasing alcohol or drug use as a coping mechanism.
Losing interest in activities you once enjoyed.
Struggling to focus at work, school, or home.
Having more frequent headaches or feeling unwell with no clear explanation.
Experiencing sleep disturbances, such as sleeping too much or too little.
Feeling exhausted even after a full night’s sleep.

If any of these sound familiar, you don’t have to navigate them alone. Therapy offers a safe space to explore what’s going on and develop strategies to feel more in control.

To Conclude

Therapy offers men a path to better mental health, stronger relationships, and greater overall well-being. By breaking down barriers and encouraging open conversations, we can create a world where men feel empowered to prioritise their mental health without stigma or hesitation.

As a counsellor and coach specialising in men’s mental health, I provide a safe, supportive space to help you navigate life’s challenges. If you’re ready to take the first step, book a discovery call today. Reaching out isn’t a weakness—it’s a sign of strength, and you deserve the support to feel more confident, in control, and at peace with yourself.

References

Khan, S. S., Secades-Villa, R., Okuda, M., Wang, S., Pérez-Fuentes, G., Kerridge, B. T., & Blanco, C. (2013). Gender differences in lifetime alcohol dependence: Results from the National Epidemiologic Survey on Alcohol and Related Conditions. Alcoholism: Clinical and Experimental Research, 37(10), 1696–1705. https://doi.org/10.1111/acer.12159

A man sitting with his head resting on his forehead, illustrating the emotional impact of managing shame

Understanding and Managing Shame for Personal Growth

Shame is a complex emotion that can negatively impact your quality of life if not managed effectively. Recognising and understanding shame is the first step toward freeing yourself from the grip of this often painful emotion. When shame takes hold, individuals often feel inadequate or fundamentally flawed. These feelings of shame can stem from various life experiences, including negative beliefs or unrealistic social norms.

For some, chronic shame may be rooted in a deep sense of embarrassment, leading to low self-esteem and a negative self-perception. However, overcoming this powerful emotion through self-compassion and intentional personal growth is possible.

Shame Vs. Guild – The Key Differences

Recognising the distinction between guilt and shame is crucial for managing emotional responses effectively:

Feelings of shame focus on the self, often leading to low self-esteem and negative thoughts. It’s the belief that “I am bad.”
Feelings of guilt, however, focus on actions, leading to the thought, “I did something bad.”

For example, if a student cheats on a test, they may feel guilty by thinking, “I made a poor choice.” On the other hand, shame would cause them to believe, “I am a bad person.” Similarly, if someone is late for a meeting, they may feel embarrassed, but it could develop into shame if they start to believe they are inherently unreliable.

illustration of woman with fingers pointing towards her representing feeling shameful

Shame Vs. Embarrassment

While related, shame and embarrassment are distinct emotions. Embarrassment often involves temporary discomfort about a specific situation without long-term effects on one’s self-worth. For instance, spilling a drink at a party might cause embarrassment. However, if it leads to thoughts like “I am clumsy” or “I’m not good enough,” it may trigger feelings of shame.

Situations like being criticised at work, experiencing a breakup, or not meeting societal beauty standards can also lead to negative self-perception and shame. Understanding these differences can help you to navigate your emotional experiences and prevent self-destructive behaviours.

The Evolutionary Roots of Shame

According to research by Sznycer et al. (2016), shame evolved as a defence mechanism to protect individuals from social rejection. In ancient times, being valued by the community was crucial for survival. As a powerful emotion, shame encourages individuals to conform to social norms and maintain positive relationships.

Today, while the environment has changed, the emotional response remains. However, modern pressures—such as social media comparisons—can intensify feelings of inadequacy. This negative self-talk can make it more challenging to navigate negative thoughts and emotions healthily.

When Is Shame Not Helpful?

Shame becomes toxic when it leads to excessive self-criticism, causing toxic shame. This often involves self-destructive behaviours and can result from early life experiences such as trauma, abuse, or emotional neglect. Toxic shame leads to a belief that one is fundamentally flawed, unlovable, or incapable of being a better person.

Managing Toxic Shame

If your feelings of shame become overwhelming or difficult to manage, professional help may be necessary. Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) can help challenge negative beliefs and reframe negative self-talk. If self-help techniques or confiding in a trusted friend don’t alleviate the feelings, reaching out to a therapist or joining a safe space like a support group may provide relief.

How Shame Affects the Body and Mind

Shame triggers a series of physiological and psychological responses:

Emotional well-being: Feelings of shame can lead to chronic stress, which affects your emotional and mental health. You might experience a feeling of inadequacy, a desire to hide, or even inner critical thoughts that negatively impact your sense of self-worth.
Physical symptoms: Shame can activate the body’s stress response, causing physical health issues such as an increased heart rate, elevated blood pressure, muscle tension, sweating, and digestive problems.
Mental health issues: Prolonged shame weakens the immune system, making individuals more susceptible to illness while also affecting mental health, concentration, and decision-making.

Six Effective Ways To Manage Shame

Overcoming shame involves implementing practical, healthy strategies:

Challenge Negative Thoughts: Utilise CBT techniques to challenge negative self-perception. For example, replace “I’m a complete failure” with “I am on a journey of personal growth.”
Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. Treat yourself with care and engage in activities that enhance your emotional well-being, like journaling or spending time in nature.
Learn and Grow: Consider mistakes to be an opportunity for growth. View shame as a tool to realign your behaviours with your values, thus becoming a better person.
Mindfulness and Breathing Techniques: Practice mindfulness and use grounding exercises or breathing techniques to manage your emotional responses. These methods help calm the central nervous system and bring balance.
Positive Self-Talk: Focus on affirmations that build your positive self-image. Journalling is an effective way to track your achievements and strengths.
Talk About It: Opening up about feelings of shame with a trusted friend, a support group, or a professional can reduce isolation and help you gain perspective. If you’re looking for one-to-one support, my counselling and coaching services offer a safe space to explore and reframe these feelings.

man with arms outstretched representing freedom from feelings of shame

To Conclude

Shame is challenging, but it doesn’t have to control your life. By understanding its roots and practising effective ways to manage it, you can reclaim your sense of self-worth and cultivate a positive self-image. Embrace your personal development journey by building emotional well-being, practising self-compassion, and overcoming shame’s negative grip.

If you’re ready to address toxic shame and achieve personal growth, consider seeking professional support through therapy or coaching. Take the first step toward living with confidence and peace. Book a free discovery call today.

References:

Sznycer, D., Tooby, J., Cosmides, L., Porat, R., Shalvi, S., & Halperin, E. (2016). Shame closely tracks the threat of devaluation by others, even across cultures. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 113(10), 2625–2630. https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.1514699113

A relaxed woman with dark hair wearing a dark jumper and headphones, sitting in her home with a plant in the background. She appears calm and focused during an RTT session.

RTT for Anxiety, Fears & Low Self-Esteem – A Breakthrough Approach

How RTT Helps You Overcome Anxiety, Phobias & Self-Doubt – 6 Powerful Insights

If you’ve struggled with anxiety, fear, or self-doubt and haven’t found lasting relief, you might be wondering if there’s a more effective way to create real change. Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) is designed to help people overcome deep-rooted issues quickly by rewiring the subconscious mind and breaking unhelpful thought patterns.

Many people turn to RTT after trying traditional talk therapy, CBT, or self-help methods that haven’t delivered the results they were hoping for. Whether you feel stuck in cycles of overthinking, avoid situations due to fear, or struggle with low confidence, RTT provides a fast and lasting transformation by addressing the root cause of these challenges. Please check my RTT page if you would like to know more about RTT and the process.

Here’s how RTT can help with some of the most common issues that hold people back:

1. Overcoming Anxiety & Breaking Free from Overthinking

Anxiety can feel overwhelming, affecting everything from your confidence at work to your ability to relax in social situations. Many people find themselves trapped in overthinking, replaying conversations, or worrying about the future.

RTT helps by identifying the subconscious beliefs that fuel anxious thoughts and replacing them with more positive, empowering patterns. Through hypnosis, we access the root of your anxiety—whether it stems from childhood experiences, a specific event, or long-standing self-doubt. By rewiring these thought patterns, RTT helps you feel calmer, more in control, and free from the weight of constant worry.

2. Conquering Phobias & Fears

Fear can be debilitating, stopping you from enjoying life to the fullest. Whether it’s a fear of flying, public speaking, driving, or social situations, phobias can limit opportunities and create unnecessary stress.

RTT works by uncovering the origin of your fear—often a past experience that your mind has attached a strong emotional reaction to. By revisiting and reframing that experience in a safe, controlled way, RTT helps release the fear and replace it with a sense of confidence and ease. Many clients experience a dramatic reduction in their phobia after just one session.

3. Rebuilding Confidence & Self-Worth

If you’ve ever felt like you’re not good enough, doubted your abilities, or struggled with self-criticism, you’re not alone. Low self-esteem can affect relationships, career progression, and general happiness.

RTT helps you uncover where these limiting beliefs started—often in childhood or past experiences—and rewrite them at a subconscious level. Many clients describe RTT as feeling like a ‘mental reset,’ allowing them to step into a version of themselves that is more confident, capable, and self-assured.

A relaxed woman with dark hair wearing headphones, lying on a white sofa with her eyes closed, holding a smartphone. She appears calm and at ease during an RTT hypnotherapy session.

4. Breaking Free from Addictions & Unhealthy Habits

RTT is highly effective for breaking free from unwanted habits such as smoking, vaping, emotional eating, or excessive drinking. Many habits stem from emotional triggers—such as using food or alcohol as a coping mechanism for stress or using nicotine as a way to manage anxiety.

Rather than relying on willpower alone, RTT works by addressing the subconscious reasons behind the habit and rewiring them at their source. Clients often find that cravings significantly reduce or disappear completely after a session.

5. Letting Go of Procrastination & Self-Sabotage

Many people know what they need to do to achieve their goals, yet they find themselves procrastinating, avoiding tasks, or engaging in self-sabotaging behaviours. This is often due to deep-seated beliefs about success, fear of failure, or perfectionism.

RTT helps you break free from these patterns by identifying and reprogramming subconscious beliefs that cause self-sabotage. Clients often experience increased motivation, clarity, and the confidence to take action after just one session.

6. Improving Sleep & Reducing Stress

If you struggle with poor sleep or find it difficult to switch off at night, RTT can help by addressing the subconscious stressors that keep your mind overactive. Whether it’s work stress, personal worries, or general anxiety, RTT enables you to relax more deeply, making it easier to fall asleep and stay asleep.

Through hypnosis, we introduce positive affirmations that promote relaxation, allowing you to develop a healthier relationship with rest. Many clients report feeling more refreshed and energised after just one RTT session focused on sleep

Is RTT Right for You?

If you’ve been struggling with anxiety, fear, or self-doubt and feel ready for a lasting transformation, RTT could be the solution you’ve been looking for. Unlike traditional talk therapy, RTT works quickly—many people notice significant changes after just one to three sessions.

I offer RTT sessions online, making it accessible no matter where you are in the UK. If you’d like to find out whether RTT is the right approach for you, book a free discovery call today.

Alternatively, if you’d like to experience the benefits of hypnosis, take a look at my collection of self-hypnosis recordings, designed to help with anxiety, confidence, and breaking free from unwanted habits.

Final Thoughts

RTT is a powerful tool for transformation, helping you overcome fears, break negative patterns, and step into a more confident version of yourself. If you’ve tried other methods without success, RTT could provide the breakthrough you need.

If you’d like to explore how RTT can support you, visit my services page to learn more, or contact me and take the first step toward lasting change.”

Frequently Asked Questions

What is RTT, and how does it work?

RTT (Rapid Transformational Therapy) is a powerful therapy combining hypnosis, NLP, cognitive behavioural techniques, and regression. It helps uncover and rewire negative subconscious beliefs, creating lasting change in anxiety, fears, and self-esteem.

How many RTT sessions do I need?

Many clients notice significant improvements after just one session, while others may benefit from up to three, depending on their specific challenges.

Is RTT safe?

Yes, RTT is a safe and guided process. You remain in control throughout the session, and it does not involve reliving trauma—only reviewing and reframing past experiences.

Can RTT help with long-term anxiety and fears?

Absolutely. RTT is highly effective for deep-rooted issues, addressing the subconscious causes of anxiety, phobias, and fears. It replaces limiting beliefs with positive, empowering ones.

How can I book an RTT session?

You can book a free discovery call to discuss your needs and see if RTT is right for you. Sessions are held online, making them accessible anywhere in the UK.

Woman with ADHD focusing on work, using a laptop in a modern office.

How Therapy Can Help You Manage ADHD & Find Clarity

Adult ADHD: How Therapy Can Help You Find Clarity

Living with ADHD can feel like constantly juggling too many things at once—thoughts racing, unfinished tasks, and a sense of chaos that never quite settles. The distractions, impulsivity, and struggles with organisation can be overwhelming, making even simple daily routines feel like a challenge. But ADHD isn’t just about difficulties—it’s a different way of thinking, and with the right support, it can be harnessed to work for you rather than against you.

As a counsellor and ADHD coach, I’ve worked with many adults navigating the ups and downs of ADHD. I understand how exhausting it can be when your mind feels like it never switches off. Therapy doesn’t aim to ‘fix’ you—because you’re not broken—but it does provide tools, understanding, and strategies that can transform the chaos into clarity, helping you feel more in control of your life.

How ADHD Therapy Can Support You

1. Understanding ADHD and Embracing Self-Acceptance

One of the most powerful aspects of therapy is gaining a deeper understanding of how ADHD affects you. ADHD isn’t just about being forgetful or distracted—it’s about how your brain processes information. Recognising that your brain works differently, not incorrectly, can be a huge relief.

Through therapy, you can start to make sense of your unique strengths and challenges. You’ll learn that ADHD isn’t a personal failure but simply a different way of thinking. This shift in perspective can help release frustration and self-blame, paving the way for greater self-compassion and confidence.

2. Creating Personalised ADHD Strategies

ADHD coaching and therapy aren’t one-size-fits-all. Personalised strategies make such a difference in what works for someone else might not work for you. In therapy, we work together to develop techniques that suit your specific needs, such as:

Organisation & Time Management: Structuring your day in a way that works for your brain, using visual reminders, timers, and systems that reduce overwhelm.
Improving Focus & Attention: Mindfulness and cognitive techniques to help reduce distractions and increase sustained attention.
Managing Stress & Overwhelm: Practical coping strategies, relaxation exercises, and grounding techniques to help you stay calm and focused.

Having the right strategies in place can transform how you approach daily life, making things feel more manageable and less like a constant uphill struggle.

3. Managing Emotional Ups and Downs

ADHD isn’t just about focus—it also affects emotions. Many adults with ADHD experience intense emotions that feel impossible to control. Small frustrations can feel like major setbacks and moments of joy can be overwhelming, too.

Therapy provides tools to manage emotional highs and lows, helping you develop self-awareness and emotional regulation. Techniques like cognitive restructuring can help shift negative thought patterns, while mindfulness exercises can keep you grounded when emotions start to take over. Learning to manage your emotions can lead to stronger relationships, better decision-making, and an overall sense of calm.

Woman with a cloud above her head, representing the mental chaos of ADHD. Therapy and ADHD coaching can help manage these overwhelming thoughts.

4. Boosting Self-Esteem & Confidence

If you’ve been told throughout your life that you’re ‘too disorganised’ or ‘not trying hard enough,’ it’s no surprise if your confidence has taken a hit. Many adults with ADHD struggle with self-doubt, feeling like they’re always one step behind.

Therapy can help rebuild your self-esteem by focusing on your strengths rather than your challenges. You’ll start recognising the achievements you’ve overlooked, no matter how small. By setting achievable goals and celebrating progress, therapy helps you see that you’re capable of success, just like anyone else.

Breaking free from negative patterns plays a key role in building confidence. If self-doubt and old thought patterns are holding you back, you might find this blog on Building Self-Confidence and Breaking Negative Patterns helpful. It explores shifting your mindset and developing a stronger sense of self-worth.

5. Strengthening Relationships

ADHD can sometimes impact relationships, whether it’s forgetting important dates, struggling with communication, or feeling misunderstood. Therapy can help you navigate these challenges by improving communication skills and providing strategies to build stronger, healthier connections with loved ones, friends, and colleagues.

Understanding how ADHD affects your interactions can help you explain your needs more effectively and develop strategies for better communication. Stronger relationships create a stable support system, which is invaluable when managing ADHD.

6. Setting and Achieving Goals

Goal-setting can be tricky when you have ADHD. Big goals feel overwhelming, and smaller tasks often get lost in the chaos. Therapy helps break down your goals into manageable steps, create realistic action plans, and track progress without the pressure of perfection.

Whether you want to improve your work performance, stay on top of daily tasks, or focus on personal development, therapy provides the structure and accountability to keep you moving forward.

7. Medication & Therapy: A Holistic Approach

For some adults with ADHD, medication can be helpful, but it’s not the only approach. Therapy provides practical skills and emotional support, helping you develop strategies tailored to your needs—whether or not you choose to use medication.

By focusing on self-awareness, coping techniques, and structured support, therapy empowers you to manage ADHD in a way that works for you.

Finding Clarity & Confidence with ADHD Therapy

ADHD doesn’t have to mean chaos. With the right support, strategies, and understanding, you can feel more in control of your life. Therapy provides the tools to help you navigate ADHD with confidence, whether that’s through developing better-coping strategies, improving emotional regulation, or simply learning to accept yourself fully.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed and unsure where to start, therapy could be the first step toward clarity. If you’d like to explore ADHD coaching or counselling, I’d love to help. Take a look at my ADHD support services, and let’s start your journey toward a more balanced, confident life.

A woman in a dress writing in a journal, symbolising the personal and transformative benefits of journalling.

10 Powerful Journalling Tips to Boost Focus, Clarity, and Well-Being

Imagine having a tool to help you clear your mind, eliminate stress and anxiety, and release your creativity in only a few minutes each day. Does this seem too good to be true? The good news is that this tool is available and only costs you time!

Daily journalling is a simple yet powerful activity that can improve your life more than you may realise. Research demonstrates journalling is a healthy way of increasing your emotional and mental health, communication skills, and personal growth. Learn more in this blog about the top 10 benefits of daily journalling and how it can help you.

1. Discover Peacefulness in A Busy World

Our daily life is usually bustling with demands, which can lead to issues such as overwhelm, sleep issues and mental and physical problems. Keeping a journal not only has mental health benefits, but it also provides a sanctuary for your ideas, allowing you to lessen the chaos and restore mental clarity.

Writing down your thoughts, goals, and reflections can help you see things more clearly so you can focus on the essential things in life.‎ One of the many benefits of journalling is that it provides a space for positive self-talk, which can boost your confidence and increase your self-esteem.

2. Breathe Easier by Letting Go your Emotions

Life can often throw us challenges, which can cause stress, anxiety, and emotional ups and downs. However, the simple act of journalling can help with many of these challenges. Writing in a journal offers a secure and judgment-free environment to express your thoughts and emotions and connect with your inner self.

3. Gain More Self-Awareness to Uncover Your True Self

Keeping a journal can provide a window into your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. Journaling is a powerful tool for reflecting on past experiences; you may find trends that indicate more about your personality and what inspires you, aiding personal growth.

The first step towards achieving personal growth is creating a private space to be in the present moment. In addition to uncovering your true self, journalling improves your physical health, as demonstrated in a study by Karen A. Bailie and Kay Wilhelm.

cozy composition with mug, candles and a blanket representing grounding exercises

4. Enhance Your Emotional Well-Being with Each Page

Engaging in a habit as easy as writing down a few phrases can significantly enhance your mental well-being, which is part of the magic of journaling. Various studies demonstrate that keeping a journal of your thoughts and emotions can lessen the symptoms of major depressive disorder, sadness, overwhelm, and anxiety.

5. Release Your Creativity—There Are No Boundaries or Limits

You may believe that journalling is limited to writing. However, it’s also a space where your imagination can run wild by drawing, sketching, and brainstorming. Your creativity can flow onto the page when you write without limitations. Whether working on a project or exploring new ideas, journaling is an effective way to reach your full creative potential.

6. Resolve Issues Expertly

Have you ever found yourself needing help to solve a problem? If the answer is yes, consider putting it in writing. Writing in a journal lets you view your difficulties and emotional triggers from different perspectives. It’s a form of communicating with yourself when strategising, evaluating, and breaking down the problem into smaller, more manageable tasks. The answer may show up on the paper in front of you before you realise it.‎

Young woman journalling in bed with a notebook and pen, creating a relaxing writing environment

7. Set and Smash Goals

We have ambitions and goals, but achieving those dreams requires a strategy. That’s the purpose of journalling. Outlining your objectives and the measures necessary to reach them can create a road map for success. Maintaining a journal allows you to stay motivated and accountable by allowing you to monitor your progress. ‎

For more information on goal-setting, you can check out my blog. As Ryan R. Bailey highlights in his article, ‘Goal Setting and Action Planning for Health Behaviour Change,’ journaling can be a powerful tool for achieving health-related goals.

8. Improve Your Communication Skills and Emotional Intelligence

Words have power; the more you use them, the more familiar they will become. Maintaining a journal can help you improve your vocabulary and communication skills by allowing you to express yourself more confidently and clearly. Writing in a journal may enhance your ability to advocate for yourself, whether in a meeting, sending an email, or during a difficult conversation.

9. Improve Your Memory—One Blank Page at a Time

How often do you forget what happened during the day or what you have learned? We can all experience forgetfulness or brain fog from time to time, whether navigating the workplace, learning something new, or working through our daily to-do list.

Things can become more ingrained in your memory when you write them down. You’re keeping memories and improving your capacity to recall information when needed by routinely recording your experiences. Your journal becomes a gold mine of notes you may return to whenever you choose.‎

10. Heal and Grow More Thoroughly

Although obstacles in life can leave their mark, writing provides a therapeutic avenue to focus on yourself. Writing in a journal pushes you to go that bit deeper by identifying any barriers preventing you from moving forward. Journalling can be challenging if you are working through intrusive negative thoughts that are causing you to have challenging emotions such as shame or anger.

You can read more about managing shame in my blog. If you are navigating your way around difficult situations. In that case, it is essential to remember you can reach out for support from trusted friends or family or professional help if you need extra help.

If you feel journalling can help you, the following steps are an excellent way to get started:

Establish a Habit: Decide on a time that works best for you, whether before bedtime or first thing in the morning.
Take Small Steps: It’s okay to miss a day; it doesn’t mean you should give up. Instead, pick up your pen again and get back to it whenever you are ready, even if you restart with a single line.
Be Honest: It’s your place to explore your inner world, so write from your heart, which can bring you many positive experiences.
Experiment with Different Formats: There are many types of journalling, such as bullet journalling, expressive writing, drawing images, and gratitude journalling.

Final Verdict: Your Journey Starts Today

Writing in a journal aids positive change, which can bring many benefits. You have a rare opportunity to develop a close relationship with yourself. Writing down your inner thoughts creates a safe space to explore your feelings, objectives, needs and preferences. Daily journalling is a simple yet powerful activity that can transform your life by improving communication skills and personal growth. Learn about the top 10 benefits of daily journalling and how it can help you reach your full potential.

Taking the first step towards journalling is could be the best thing you do today, for personal development, better health, and gaining a greater sense of self. What are you waiting for, grab that paper and pen!

References:

Pennebaker, J. W., & Seagal, J. D. (1999). Emotional and physical health benefits of expressive writing. Advances in Psychiatric Treatment, 5(1), 13-19. https://doi.org/10.1192/apt.5.1.13

Smyth, J. M., & Pennebaker, J. W. (2019). Exploring the links between expressive writing and well-being: What we know, what we don’t know, and what we need to know. Frontiers in Psychology, 10, 2047. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2019.02047

Woman standing barefoot on stone with flowers, reflecting grounding techniques.

Grounding Techniques for Anxiety: How to Feel Calm & Present

Grounding Techniques for Anxiety

In today’s fast-paced world, we often urge ourselves to keep pushing forward during tough times. However, this can lead to stress and feelings of overwhelm, which may contribute to anxiety disorders. Grounding techniques offer a powerful method for managing these emotions by helping you reconnect with the present moment and your surroundings.

This blog examines effective ways to incorporate grounding exercises into your daily routine to alleviate stress and anxiety.

Understanding Grounding Techniques for Anxiety

Grounding techniques help you reconnect with your body, thoughts, and the environment around you, offering relief from panic attacks, anxious thoughts, and strong emotions.

Grounding techniques, inspired by practices like “earthing,” such as walking barefoot on natural surfaces, are designed to alleviate anxiety symptoms by soothing the nervous system. These exercises can significantly improve mental well-being and help you regain control over overwhelming feelings.

wpman walking bare foot on a muddy path in a forest representing grounding techniques

Top 7 Grounding Techniques to Try Today

1. 5-4-3-2-1 Technique

The 5-4-3-2-1 technique is a simple but effective way to bring you back to the present moment through sensory awareness. This technique is highly recommended if you are experiencing panic attacks or dealing with anxiety disorders.

Five Things You See: Name five things in your surroundings.

Four Things You Can Touch: Focus your attention on four objects you can physically touch.

Three Things You Hear: Identify three distinct sounds.

Two Things You Can Smell: Recognise two different scents.

One Thing You Like About Yourself: Reflect on one positive trait.

cozy composition with mug, candles and a blanket representing grounding exercises

2. Self-Sooth Box

Create a personalised box filled with comforting and calming items:

Affirmations or Quotes: Include positive affirmations or motivational quotes.
Photos or Mementoes: Add photos or items that remind you of positive memories.
Textured Items: Use soft or comforting textures like fur, leather, or stress-relief toys.
Aromatherapy Scents: Include essential oils or scented items that you find relaxing.
Snacks: Add something sweet to taste or your favourite snack.
Music: Include a playlist of feel-good music.
Activities: Add colouring books, puzzles, or mind games.

Customising your box with items that help you feel more at ease empowers you to create a self-soothe box that resonates with you, providing control over your anxiety management and a sense of empowerment.

3. Grab and Describe an Object

When you feel overwhelmed, grabbing and describing an object in detail can help anchor you to the present moment. This technique redirects negative thoughts and promotes feelings of calm by engaging your mind with your immediate surroundings.

Focus on the shape, texture, and colour.
Consider the object’s purpose and any personal connection you have with it.

4. Play a Memory Game

Distract your mind from anxious thoughts by playing a memory game. Focusing on memories creates mental distance from negative feelings and helps your brain relax. Recall things like:

Favourite Places: Think of cities or landmarks you’ve visited.
Categories: Challenge yourself to list items in specific categories like animals, colours, or foods.

5. Mantras and Positive Affirmations

Using mantras or positive affirmations can shift your mindset and combat anxious thoughts.

Create “I am” Statements: Develop affirmations like “I am calm” or “I am in control.”
Repeat: Use these statements during stressful moments to reinforce a sense of peace and empowerment.

6. The Water Technique

Visualise yourself as a calm body of water to promote tranquillity and mental clarity. This exercise helps you stay centred and balanced, making it easier to handle daily challenges with a calm mindset.

Breathing Focus: Use deep, deliberate breaths to mimic the flow and serenity of water.
Stress Dissipation: Imagine tension and stress dissolving into the water, creating ripples that gradually fade.
Emotional Anchoring: Embrace the sense of fluidity and stability that water represents, enhancing your ability to remain grounded.

7. Deep Breathing: Diaphragmatic Breathing

Breathing exercises are crucial for activating the body’s relaxation response. Deep breaths help reduce stress and anxiety by calming the nervous system and improving focus. Try the following methods:

Square Breathing: Inhale for four seconds, hold for four, exhale for four, and pause for four seconds.
4-7-8 Breathing: Inhale for four seconds, hold for seven seconds and exhale for eight seconds.

woman walking in the forest breathing in fresh air representing grounding exercises

Tips for Effective Breathing Exercises

Focus: Concentrate on the rhythm of your breath.
Posture: Keep a relaxed but upright posture.
Environment: Practice in a safe space.
Consistency: Make breathing exercises a regular part of your daily routine to help effectively manage anxiety symptoms.

Tips for Consistency

Incorporate these grounding techniques into your daily routine or use them during high-stress moments. Consider setting reminders or establishing a grounding ritual to make these practices a regular part of your life.

Addressing Challenges

If you find it hard to focus on grounding exercises like the 5-4-3-2-1 technique, start with fewer sensory items or practice in a quiet space. Adjust these exercises to suit your needs and create a safe space for practising.

To Conclude

Grounding techniques provide effective strategies for reconnecting with the present moment and achieving a sense of calm when managing stress and anxiety. Different approaches work for different people, so feel free to experiment with these methods to find what works best for you. Creating a diverse toolbox of grounding techniques can greatly enhance your ability to manage anxiety over time.

If you would like personalised guidance on managing anxiety and stress through counselling, grounding exercises and mindfulness practices, you can book a discovery call.

Reference for Further Reading:

Smith, J. (2020). The Role of Breathing in Stress Reduction. Journal of Mental Wellbeing, 15(3), 45-60.

Blog

Building Self-Confidence and Breaking Negative Patterns

GRACE: Your Guide to Breaking Patterns

G – Gratitude Shifting Your Focus

Reflection: Recognising the Patterns

Alignment: Stepping Into Your Future Self

Connecting your body and mind with Movement

Embracing Small Habits

Try My Free Meditations for Confidence and Calm!

When Anxiety Makes You Overthink Everything in Your Relationship

Breaking the Cycle of Overthinking in Relationships

Notice the Thought Spiral

Stop Seeking Reassurance on Repeat

Calm Your Nervous System First

Challenge the Anxious Narrative

Build Your Own Sense of Security

When to Seek Support

Overcoming Perfectionism – Letting Go and Living Fully

Growing Up with the Pressure to Be Perfect

The Exhausting Ideal of ‘Having It All’

Why Overcoming Perfectionism Matters

What Is Perfectionism, Really?

The PAUSE Method: 5 Steps to Letting Go of Perfectionism

P – ‘Permit’ Yourself to Be Imperfect

A – ‘Accept’ Progress Over Perfection

U – ‘Understand’ Your Triggers

S – ‘Show’ Yourself Kindness

E – ‘Embrace’ Flexibility

How RTT Can Help Break the Cycle

Moving Forward with PAUSE

Wine O’clock to Wellness: How to Stop Drinking Alcohol with RTT

How Drinking Became Normalised for Women

What Kind of Drinker Are You?

Do I Need to Know What Kind of Drinker I Am?

Why Do We Begin to Rely on Alcohol?

How to Stop Drinking Alchohol Safely: Heavy Drinkers and Medical Advice

How Hypnotherapy and RTT Can Help You to Stop Drinking Alcohol

The Impact of Alcohol on Your Well-Being

Your Transformation Starts Here

Self-Help Techniques for Reducing or Stopping Alcohol

A Supportive Tool for Change

Are You Ready to Take the Next Step?

Ready to Stop Vaping? Here’s How to Break Free for Good

Why is Vaping So Hard to Quit?

The Real Cost of Vaping

Breaking the Cycle – What Actually Works?

Your Next Step to Stop Vaping for Good

Balancing Acts: ADHD and Menopause

ADHD in Women

Cognitive Shifts During Menopause

Why Symptoms Can Intensify During Perimenopause and Menopause

The Challenges of Diagnosis and Misdiagnosis

Managing ADHD During Menopause

Sharing Your Experiences: You’re Not Alone

Conclusion: Embrace the Journey

Men’s Mental Health: Breaking Barriers and Embracing Therapy

Therapy for Men – The Statistics

Why Do Men Avoid Therapy? Understanding the Barriers

Case Study: James’ Story

How Men Can Benefit From Therapy

The Broader Impact of Therapy for Men

Normalising Therapy for Men

Strengthening Relationships

Enhancing Job Performance

When To Reach Out for Therapy

To Conclude

Understanding and Managing Shame for Personal Growth

Shame Vs. Guild – The Key Differences

Shame Vs. Embarrassment

The Evolutionary Roots of Shame

When Is Shame Not Helpful?

Managing Toxic Shame

How Shame Affects the Body and Mind

Six Effective Ways To Manage Shame

To Conclude

How RTT Helps You Overcome Anxiety, Phobias & Self-Doubt – 6 Powerful Insights

1. Overcoming Anxiety & Breaking Free from Overthinking

2. Conquering Phobias & Fears

3. Rebuilding Confidence & Self-Worth

4. Breaking Free from Addictions & Unhealthy Habits