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Overcoming Perfectionism – Letting Go and Living Fully

Overcoming Perfectionism – Letting Go and Living Fully

Growing Up with the Pressure to Be Perfect

Some people might wonder—why is overcoming perfectionism important? Isn’t it a good thing to strive for the best?

For those of us in Gen X—and even some older Millennials—we grew up in a world that told us being perfect was the ultimate goal. The perfect score, the flawless A-star report card, excelling at everything we tried—these were the measures of success.

The Exhausting Ideal of ‘Having It All’

And it wasn’t just about achievements. As women, we were told we could have it all—the career, the looks, the partner, the money, the holidays, the beautiful children, and the picture-perfect home.

Even writing it all down feels exhausting, let alone trying to juggle everything and live up to some imagined ideal—no doubt shaped by watching TV shows where someone managed to do it all and make it look effortless.

Why Overcoming Perfectionism Matters

And that’s exactly why we need to break free from the perfectionist cycle. We are exhausted!  Luckily, things are starting to change. Schools and workplaces have begun to realise that putting this kind of pressure on young people isn’t helpful, and they’ve adapted the way they teach, grade, and reward success.

But for those of us who grew up in the 70s, 80s, and 90s, that pressure runs deep. The belief that our worth is tied to our achievements is hard to shake, and we continue striving, pushing, and measuring ourselves against an impossible standard.

What Is Perfectionism, Really?

Perfectionism is often defined as the relentless pursuit of flawlessness, accompanied by excessively high standards and an overly critical self-evaluation. But here’s the truth—perfection, by its very definition, is practically impossible to achieve.

And yet, we chase it. We believe that if we can just do everything right, life will fall into place. But perfectionism doesn’t lead to happiness; it leads to stress, anxiety, and feeling like we’re never quite enough.

It can show up in so many ways—procrastinating because you’re afraid of doing something wrong, avoiding opportunities because you’re scared of failure, or constantly feeling like your efforts aren’t good enough, no matter how much you achieve.  So, how do we begin to break free from perfectionism and embrace a life that feels more balanced and fulfilling?

Dark-haired woman making a stop sign gesture, symbolising the importance of pausing and breaking free from perfectionism.

The PAUSE Method: 5 Steps to Letting Go of Perfectionism

When I talk about overcoming perfectionism, I don’t mean giving up on your goals—goals are crucial—nor should you lower your standards. What I do mean is that we need to create a more balanced and realistic approach to life—one that allows space for mistakes, growth, and self-compassion.

That’s where PAUSE comes in—a simple way to remind yourself to take a step back and approach life with more kindness and flexibility. Setting goals that are adaptable and achievable can help you make progress without feeling like every misstep is a failure. If you’re looking for a better way to set goals that support your success, check out my blog on Ditching Resolutions and Setting Goals for Lasting Success.

P – ‘Permit’ Yourself to Be Imperfect

Perfectionism thrives on the idea that mistakes equal failure. But mistakes are how we grow and learn. Give yourself permission to be imperfect, to try, and to not get everything right the first time.

When you find the inner critic (the voice in your head) start to berate you, instead of listening reframe your thoughts.

Swap phrases like “I should have done better” with “I did my best with what I knew at the time.” By letting go of the idea that everything has to be perfect, you open yourself up to new opportunities and experiences.

A – ‘Accept’ Progress Over Perfection

One of the biggest struggles with perfectionism is feeling like if it’s not perfect, it’s not worth doing. But progress is always better than perfection. Taking small, imperfect steps is far better than staying stuck in fear of not getting it “just right.”

Set small, achievable goals and celebrate your wins—no matter how small they seem. Remind yourself that done is better than perfect, and every step forward is a step in the right direction.

U – ‘Understand’ Your Triggers

Perfectionism is often driven by experiences and expectations—whether from childhood, work environments, or social media comparisons. Understand what those triggers are and reflect. Is it pressure from others? Fear of judgment? A desire for control?

Recognising these triggers can help you take a step back and challenge them, rather than letting them dictate your actions.

S – ‘Show’ Yourself Kindness

We can be so hard on ourselves—constantly pushing, criticising, and comparing. But treating yourself with kindness is one of the most powerful ways to break the perfectionism cycle.

Start by noticing how you talk to yourself. If your inner critic is harsh, ask yourself: “What would I think of a friend who said this to me? And would I say this to a friend?”

If the answer is no, it’s time to change the script. Practising self-compassion means allowing yourself to struggle, to take breaks, and to acknowledge that you’re doing your best

E – ‘Embrace’ Flexibility

Perfectionism is rigid and unforgiving, but life isn’t meant to be lived that way. Learning to embrace flexibility allows you to adapt when things don’t go according to plan—and still feel good about it.

Instead of focusing on strict goals or expectations, try being open to different outcomes. Flexibility gives you the freedom to enjoy the journey rather than feeling tied to a single destination.

How RTT Can Help Break the Cycle

For many of us, perfectionist tendencies run deep—they’re often tied to beliefs we’ve carried since childhood. Breaking free from perfectionism isn’t about lowering your standards but about developing a healthier, more balanced mindset. With the right support, you can shift from constant self-criticism to self-compassion and confidence.

If perfectionism is holding you back, I offer personalised one-to-one support to help you overcome limiting patterns and create lasting change. You can learn more about how I work here.

Moving Forward with PAUSE

Breaking free from perfectionism isn’t about giving up—it’s about living in a way that feels more aligned with who you are, not who you think you should be.

By giving yourself permission to be imperfect, accepting progress, understanding your triggers, showing kindness, and embracing flexibility, you can create a healthier, more fulfilling way of living.

Achieving Your Goals: The Role of Reflection

Achieving Your Goals: The Role of Reflection

As a Life Transitions Coach, I always encourage clients to pause and reflect on their progress. Whether you’re at the start of a new month or simply taking a moment to check in with yourself, reflection can be a powerful tool for staying on track with your goals.

Often, we begin new challenges with enthusiasm and motivation, but as time goes on, the demands of daily life can make it easy to lose focus. Taking a step back allows you to acknowledge how far you’ve come, realign your focus, and set yourself up for the weeks ahead. Celebrating even the smallest achievements can be a great way to boost your confidence and inspire you to keep moving forward.

If your reflection leaves you feeling like there’s more you could have done, let that be a source of motivation rather than frustration. Instead of dwelling on what hasn’t gone to plan, consider what you can adjust going forward. Were there any specific obstacles that stood in your way? Identifying them can help you create a clearer plan and make the next steps more achievable.

Celebrate the Wins—Big and Small

Take a minute to look back at the previous month, and reflect on what you’ve achieved. Did you stick to a new habit, take the first steps toward achieving your goals, or handle a challenging situation better than you might have before? Even small wins deserve recognition, as they are the building blocks of bigger successes.

To celebrate your progress and stay motivated in achieving your goals, try writing down your achievements in a journal, sharing them with a trusted friend, or treating yourself to something meaningful—a quiet moment of self-care, or even a small reward like a favourite book or meal. Acknowledging these moments boosts your self-esteem and reinforces the positive changes you’re making.

Understanding Self-Concept in Reflection

Reflection isn’t just about evaluating actions; it’s also an opportunity to connect with your self-concept, the way you perceive and define yourself.  Self-concept is made up of three components:

  1. Self-Image: How you see yourself, including physical attributes, personality traits, and roles in life.
  2. Self-Esteem: How much you value yourself and your abilities.
  3. Ideal Self: The person you aspire to be.

By reflecting on these aspects of self-concept, you can gain clarity on how your actions and habits align with the person you want to become. For example, does the way you’ve spent January reflect the goals and values of your ideal self? This awareness can help you make intentional changes to strengthen your self-concept and move closer to your aspirations.

What Have You Learned?

Reflection is also a chance to embrace the lessons of the past few weeks. Ask yourself:

  • What worked well for me this month?
  • What challenges did I face, and how did I respond?
  • Is there anything I’d like to approach differently moving forward?

These questions aren’t about criticism—they’re about curiosity. For example, you might realise that setting aside 10 minutes daily for mindfulness helped you feel more focused and calmer. Or perhaps you noticed that skipping your usual planning time on Sunday evenings made your week more chaotic. Understanding the patterns and choices that shaped January, you can step into February with greater clarity and intention.

Reconnect with Achieving Your Goals

The start of the year is often a time for big resolutions and goals. But now is a good time to check in with yourself:

  • Are your goals still aligned with what matters most to you?
  • Do you need to adjust your expectations or timeline?

Sometimes, we set goals that feel inspiring now but don’t reflect the reality of our lives. That’s okay. Giving yourself permission to adjust or refine your goals is a sign of growth, not failure.

A woman at her desk writing down her goals

Preparing for the Months Ahead

As you continue throughout the year, think about how you want to carry the momentum forward. Consider these steps to stay focused:

  1. Set Micro Goals: Break larger goals into smaller, more manageable steps. Progress is easier to achieve and sustain when it feels within reach.
  2. Revisit Your Priorities: Make sure your daily actions align with what’s most important to you.
  3. Celebrate Progress Along the Way: Build in moments to reflect on and reward your efforts—it keeps you motivated and encouraged.

A Fresh Start Every Month

The beauty of a year is that it offers 12 opportunities to reset and refocus. Whether January unfolded precisely as you’d hoped or brought unexpected challenges, each day, week, and month is a chance to start fresh.

Reflection allows you to move forward with purpose, confidence, and a sense of ownership over your journey, building on the progress you’ve already made or embracing the lessons learned.

Plan Your Next Steps Using Visualisation and Affirmations

As you reflect on the past month, take a moment to look ahead. Visualisation is a highly effective tool for finding focus and igniting motivation. Picture where you’d like to be in the next couple of months. What does your life look like? What habits have you embraced? How do you feel about your progress?

Pair this visualisation with affirmations to strengthen your mindset. For instance, you might say to yourself, “I am capable of achieving my goals,” or “I am becoming the best version of myself, step by step.” These positive reinforcements help align you with your intentions and remind you of your ability to create meaningful change.

I love myself as I am quote handwritten in blue and green

Take a Moment to Reflect

Before you dive into the month ahead, take a few minutes to reflect on where you’ve been, what you’ve learned, and how you want to grow. Progress isn’t about perfection; it’s about showing up for yourself, one step at a time.

You’ve already started the journey, wherever you’re heading, and that’s something to celebrate. If you get stuck when working on your personal short-term or long-term goals, please check my page on Life Transitions Therapy.

Wine O’clock to Wellness: How to Stop Drinking Alcohol with RTT

Wine O’clock to Wellness: How to Stop Drinking Alcohol with RTT

Are you ready stop drinking alcohol and step into the life you deserve? For many, drinking starts as a way to unwind, socialise, or manage stress. Over time, it can become a deeply rooted habit, even when you’re ready to stop.

Life has many periods of transition, whether it’s starting a new career, becoming a parent, entering midlife, or adjusting to a new routine. These moments of change often prompt us to reflect on our habits and whether they align with the future we envisage. Reducing or stopping alcohol can be a powerful way to embrace these transitions and step into a healthier, more confident version of yourself.

How Drinking Became Normalised for Women

In recent years, drinking alcohol, especially wine and gin, has been glamorised and almost encouraged as a way for women to wind down. Popular phrases such as “wine o’clock” and “live, laugh. love and drink wine” have become part of everyday language, normalising the habit of drinking in the evening. While these phrases might seem harmless, they can make it easy to brush over the impact alcohol has on our health and well-being.

If you’re considering cutting back or if you want to stop drinking alcohol altogether, there are many pathways to explore, which include self-help techniques and professional help.

In this blog, I’ll explore why we turn to alcohol, the benefits of letting it go, and how Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) can help you create lasting change. If hypnosis isn’t for you, take a look at my services page for alternative approaches.

sign with the handwritten message wine o'clock

What Kind of Drinker Are You?

When it comes to drinking habits, everyone’s relationship with alcohol is different. For some, alcohol is part of their everyday routine, while for others, it might only appear in social settings or at stressful times. Reflecting on your drinking habits can provide clarity and help you take the next steps toward change.

The Motivational Model of Alcohol Use suggests that people drink for various reasons, which generally fall into four categories:

  • Social Drinking: Consuming alcohol to enhance social experiences or fit in with a group.
  • Coping Drinking: Using alcohol to manage stress, anxiety, or emotional pain.
  • Enhancement Drinking: Drinking to heighten positive emotions and increase excitement.
  • Conformity Drinking: Drinking to avoid social rejection or meet the perceived expectations of self or others.

This model highlights that drinking isn’t just about the habit itself—it’s often tied to deeper emotional and psychological needs. Reflecting on these motivations can give you insight into your own relationship with alcohol and help you decide which steps to take to stop drinking alcohol.

Do I Need to Know What Kind of Drinker I Am?

Discovering what type of drinker you are can help you better understand your drinking patterns and triggers. Furthermore, the way you identify your relationship with alcohol may provide insight as to why you drink. However, what matters most is how it impacts your life and whether it aligns with the person you want to be.

When exploring your drinking habits, it can be helpful to consider:

  • How does alcohol affect your health, relationships, and goals?
  • Would reducing or stopping drinking improve your quality of life?

Whether you identify as alcohol-dependent, a social drinker, or simply someone with a habit they’d like to change, the decision to reflect and take steps forward is a powerful one.

Why Do We Begin to Rely on Alcohol?

Alcohol often fills a gap in our emotional or social lives, even when we don’t realise it:

  • A Way to Relax: A glass of wine after work, or once the kids are in bed, becomes a ritual for unwinding.
  • Coping with Stress: A drink can feel like a quick escape from life’s challenges.
  • Easing Boredom: When drinking, the evening hours may seem to pass more quickly, giving a sense of “doing something.”
  • Numbing Emotions: When facing challenges, alcohol can act as a distraction or coping mechanism, keeping complex thoughts or feelings at bay.
  • A Social Habit: Gatherings or nights out often feel incomplete without alcohol, and for those with social anxiety, it might seem like a way to feel more at ease.

During times of transition, such as starting a new job, moving house, or navigating a breakup or empty nest, it’s easy to rely on alcohol as a way to manage stress and uncertainty. However, these patterns often keep us stuck in cycles that don’t align with the changes we want.

How to Stop Drinking Alchohol Safely:  Heavy Drinkers and Medical Advice

If you drink significantly more than the recommended guidelines for alcohol consumption, it’s crucial to approach stopping with care. The recommended limit in the UK is a maximum of 14 units of alcohol per week, spread over three or more days.

For those drinking well above this amount, stopping alcohol suddenly can be dangerous and may lead to withdrawal symptoms, including:

  • Anxiety or restlessness
  • Tremors or sweating
  • Nausea and vomiting
  • Severe symptoms such as seizures, hallucinations, or confusion

Alcohol withdrawal seizures are a serious risk for heavy drinkers who stop suddenly without medical supervision. If you believe you may be at risk, seek medical advice before quitting. Your GP or a specialist service such as Alcoholics Anonymous can provide tailored support and may recommend a medically supervised detox to ensure your safety.

It is important to remember that reaching out for help is a positive step and never something you should be ashamed of. You don’t have to navigate this alone; medical professionals and support services are here to help you take the first step toward a healthier future.

woman looking sad sitting at a table contemplating drinking wine

How Hypnotherapy and RTT Can Help You to Stop Drinking Alcohol

Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) is more than just talking about change—it’s about experiencing it at the deepest level. Using a combination of hypnotherapy, cognitive techniques, and personalised support, RTT works with your subconscious mind to:

  • Uncover the root causes of your reliance on alcohol.
  • Reframe old beliefs into empowering, positive ones.
  • Equip you with lasting tools to thrive without alcohol.

For a long time, hypnotherapy has been recognised as a powerful tool for addressing habits and behaviours, including alcohol consumption. Research supports its effectiveness in helping individuals reframe their relationship with alcohol and achieve lasting change.

Studies have shown that hypnotherapy can be an effective intervention for reducing alcohol consumption. By addressing subconscious beliefs and triggers, hypnosis enables individuals to gain greater control over their drinking habits. These findings align with techniques used in RTT, which combines the principles of hypnotherapy with cognitive and behavioural approaches. By accessing the subconscious mind, RTT helps uncover the deeper reasons behind drinking, reframe those beliefs, and empower you to take steps toward a healthier, alcohol-free life.

The Impact of Alcohol on Your Well-Being

While alcohol may offer temporary relief, its long-term effects can be significant and typical risks and challenges include;

  • Health Risks: Liver damage, heart disease, and increased cancer risks are only a few of the health concerns related to the overuse of alcohol.
  • Mental Health Struggles: Alcohol can worsen anxiety and depression, leaving you feeling stuck in a cycle.
  • Relationship Challenges can erode trust, communication, and connection with loved ones.

Life transitions offer a unique opportunity to step back and evaluate what’s no longer serving you. By reducing or stopping drinking, you can build a foundation of health and clarity that supports your next chapter.

Your Transformation Starts Here

Imagine this:

  • Waking up every morning feeling energised and clear-headed.
  • Letting go of the guilt or regret you’ve been carrying about your drinking habits.
  • Embracing your authentic self, the person you are without alcohol.
  • Facing life transitions with calm confidence, knowing you can handle change without relying on a drink.
  • Enjoying the financial freedom that comes with not spending money on alcohol.
  • Living a life that truly aligns with your goals, values, and dreams.

Reducing or stopping drinking isn’t just about what you leave behind—it’s about everything you gain. Whether you’re cutting down or taking steps towards an alcohol-free life, finding the right approach for you can make all the difference.

Self-Help Techniques for Reducing or Stopping Alcohol

If you’re trying to stop drinking alcohol or cut back, incorporating self-help techniques into your daily routine can make a significant difference. Here are some practical methods to support your efforts:

  1. Identify Your Triggers

Reflect on when and why you feel the urge to drink. Common triggers include stress, boredom, social pressure, or emotional distress. Once you know your triggers, you can prepare alternative coping strategies, such as journalling, walking, or practising deep breathing.

  1. Set Clear Goals

Decide whether you want to cut down or stop drinking completely. Set specific, achievable goals, like limiting yourself to a certain number of drinks per week or avoiding alcohol during weekdays. As you move forward tracking your progress can help you stay accountable and motivated.

  1. Replace the Habit

Find healthier alternatives to fill the time or emotional space that drinking occupies. This might include exercise, meditation, listening to pod-casts, reading, cooking, or taking up a new hobby. Substituting alcohol with non-alcoholic drinks, like sparkling water or herbal teas, can also help ease the transition.

  1. Create a Support System

Share your challenges and intentions with a trusted friend or family member who can support you. You may also find it helpful to join online communities or local support groups where others are on the same journey. Knowing you’re not alone can be incredibly encouraging.

  1. Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness can help you stay in the present and become aware of your thoughts and emotions. When the urge to drink arises, take a moment to pause, take a deep breath, and ask yourself what you’re feeling. This awareness can help you choose a healthier response.

  1. Celebrate Your Wins

Acknowledge your progress, even if it seems small. Whether declining a drink at a party or going a week without alcohol, celebrating these victories builds confidence and reinforces your commitment to change.

woman's hand round a cup drinking a healthy herbal tea

A Supportive Tool for Change

If you’re looking for a supportive approach to exploring your relationship with alcohol, techniques like Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) can help uncover your triggers behind drinking and empower you to create lasting change. Whether you choose a personalised session or a hypnosis recording, RTT offers tools to support your journey.

Are You Ready to Take the Next Step?

Life transitions are a time for personal growth, and every step you take guides you towards a healthier version of yourself. Whether you’re cutting back, pr stopping drinking alcohol completely, or exploring new coping strategies, your decision to create positive change is a positive first step.

If you’re looking for tailored support, a personalised RTT session can help you uncover and reframe the deeper reasons behind your habits. For a more cost effective and flexible approach, the ‘Stop Drinking Hypnosis’ recording offers an accessible way to start making positive changes at your own pace.

References:

Cooper, M. L. (1994). Motivations for alcohol use among adolescents: Development and validation of a four-factor model. Psychological Assessment, 6(2), 117–128. https://doi.org/10.1037/1040-3590.6.2.117

Alladin, A. (2008). Cognitive Hypnotherapy: An Integrated Approach to the Treatment of Emotional Disorders. Wiley.

Ditch Resolutions: Set Goals for Lasting Change

Resolutions vs. Goals: How to Achieve Lasting Success This Year

The start of a new year often brings a whirlwind of emotions. On one hand, it’s a time of fresh beginnings and exciting possibilities. On the other, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the weight of expectations, lingering Christmas and New Year chaos, or the pressure to set and achieve ambitious goals. If you’re feeling stuck, scattered, or emotionally drained, know you’re not alone. The key to overcoming these challenges is shifting your approach to resolutions and goal-setting to achieve lasting success.

This blog will walk you through practical strategies to create meaningful, sustainable goals and explore why resolutions often fail. By adopting a more thoughtful and evidence-based approach, you’ll not only overcome overwhelm but also build a foundation for lasting success.

Why New Year’s Resolutions Often Fail and How to Achieve Lasting Success

Many people start the year with a list of resolutions, but studies show that most fade into the background by February. Why does this happen? Resolutions often focus on sweeping changes, such as “I’ll lose weight” or “I’ll save more money,” without a clear plan to achieve them. They’re frequently rooted in external pressures or unrealistic expectations, leading to frustration and burnout. Perhaps you’ve been carrying the same goal yearly but never seem to reach it. If that sounds familiar, it might be time to reassess and approach that goal differently.

Instead of rigid resolutions, consider setting flexible, meaningful goals that allow for growth and adaptation. Goals are less about perfection and more about progress. Focusing on small, manageable steps makes you more likely to stay motivated and achieve lasting success.

Resolutions vs. Goals: What’s the Difference?

Resolutions are often rigid and outcome-focused (“I’ll run a marathon this year”), whereas goals are more flexible and process-oriented (“I’ll work up to running 5km by the spring”). Goals give you space to adjust as life changes and allow for setbacks without feeling like you’ve failed.

This kind of flexibility is especially important during life transitions when unexpected shifts can make rigid goals feel overwhelming or unrealistic. If you’re navigating change—whether in your career, relationships, or personal growth—having the right support can help you set meaningful goals that evolve with you. Learn more about how Life Transitions Coaching can help you create a plan that works for your unique journey.

How to Set Effective Goals to Achieve Lasting Success

Be Specific: Instead of saying, “I want to be healthier,” set a goal like “I’ll go for a 30-minute walk three times a week.”

Make Them Measurable: Track your progress to stay motivated.
Keep Them Realistic: Aim for incremental improvements rather than drastic changes.
Set a Time Frame: Give yourself a target date to work toward.

Effective goal-setting isn’t just about choosing the right targets—it’s about creating a structure that sets you up for success. If you want to dive deeper into how to set goals that work for you, check out my blog on Setting Goals and Achieving them.

The Science of Goal Setting and Behaviour Change

1. Habit Formation: The 21/66-Day Rule

Popular advice often suggests it takes 21 days to form a habit, but research from University College London found that behaviour typically takes around 66 days to become automatic. The key is consistency rather than speed. Small, repeatable actions—like drinking a glass of water first thing in the morning—lay the foundation for achieving lasting success. (See References below for more on habit formation.)

2. The Transtheoretical Model (Stages of Change)

The Transtheoretical Model outlines five stages of behaviour change:

  • Precontemplation: Not yet considering change.
  • Contemplation: Starting to think about change.
  • Preparation: Making plans and setting goals.
  • Action: Actively working toward the change.
  • Maintenance: Sustaining the new behaviour.

Understanding where you are in this process can help you set realistic, achievable goals. If you’re in the contemplation stage, for example, the focus should be on gathering information and building motivation before diving into action. (See References below for more on behaviour change.)

3. Intrinsic vs. Extrinsic Motivation

According to Deci and Ryan’s Self-Determination Theory, goals driven by intrinsic motivation (e.g., “I want to feel healthier and have more energy”) are more sustainable than those based on extrinsic motivation (e.g., “I want to lose weight to look good in photos”). When your goals are aligned with your core values and personal aspirations, they become more meaningful and rewarding, increasing the likelihood of long-term success. (See References below for more on motivation and behaviour change.)

4. Implementation Intentions

Research by Dr. Peter Gollwitzer suggests that creating “if-then” plans increases the likelihood of achieving goals. These simple, structured plans help you anticipate challenges and stay on track by providing clear, actionable alternatives.

For example:

  • If I feel like vaping, then I’ll chew nicotine gum instead.
  • If I’m too tired to exercise, then I’ll commit to a 10-minute walk instead of skipping it.

By planning ahead for obstacles, you make it easier to stick to your goals and avoid falling into old habits. (See References below for more on goal-setting strategies.)

Why Resolutions Fail

Common pitfalls include:

  • Setting goals that are vague or unrealistic.
  • Trying to tackle too much at once.
  • Failing to plan for setbacks or challenges.

The solution? Start small, focus on one goal at a time, and create a clear plan for success.

An Example: Sarah’s Journey to Better Health

Sarah, 32, decided to improve her health. She’s been vaping for years, often paired with a glass or two of wine in the evenings. Sarah also struggles with eating processed foods when she is on the go, out of convenience, and as result often feels tired. Sarah’s initial thoughts might be to tackle everything at once, but instead, she decides to focus on one goal at a time.

Joyful woman with yellow cloth in the sunshine signifying achieving lasting success

Step 1: Identifying Priorities and Starting Small

Sarah reflects on which change would have the biggest impact on her overall health and decides to start by addressing her wine consumption. She sets a specific, achievable goal: to completely stop drinking initially, with the possibility of later transitioning to being a social drinker rather than drinking alone. It’s important to approach this safely—if you feel you might be dependent on alcohol, it’s essential to contact a healthcare provider, as stopping drinking abruptly can have health implications. In Sarah’s case, she recognised that her drinking was more of a habit she wanted to break rather than a dependence on alcohol.

By focusing solely on this one habit, Sarah avoids feeling overwhelmed. Each small success such as one night being alcohol free is counted as a big win.  Sarah has noticed triggers such as the evenings feel much longer without drinking so she has written a list of things she can do instead of reaching our for a glass of wine such as reading, going for a walk, catching up on some documentaries she has been wanting to watch or talking on the phone with her friends.

Step 2: Building Momentum with the Domino Effect

After four weeks, Sarah feels proud of her progress. She notices that she’s already starting to feel better physically, which motivates her to address her next goal: to stop vaping. She sets a new goal: “I will cut my vaping by half over the next two weeks by using nicotine gum.”

Surprisingly, Sarah finds it easier to tackle this goal because vaping and wine have been closely linked for her. Due to stopping drinking alcohol, she is less likely to pick up her vape. She has replaced her evening glass of wine with a new collection of herbal teas, which also starts to improve her sleep.

Step 3: Expanding to Healthier Eating

With more energy and better sleep, Sarah now feels ready to address her eating habits. She doesn’t try to overhaul her diet overnight but instead focuses on a single change: “I’ll prepare a healthy dinner three nights a week, starting with simple recipes.”

After a month, cooking becomes a habit. Sarah notices she’s snacking less and feels more in control of her eating. The small changes are adding up, and she’s beginning to see how much better she feels.

Step 4: Continuing to Build Over Time

Sarah’s final focus is improving her sleep. By now, the healthier eating and reduced alcohol are already helping her feel less sluggish, but she set a clear goal to stop scrolling on her phone before bed and commit to a consistent bedtime. With each change driving the next, Sarah finds herself healthier, happier, and more energised than when she started.

Reassess and Adapt as You Go

Life is unpredictable, and your goals should be flexible enough to adapt to changing circumstances. Schedule regular check-ins with yourself to evaluate what’s working and what needs adjustment. Maybe a goal you set in January no longer feels relevant by March, or you’ve made progress faster than expected and are ready to take on a new challenge.

Tip: Reflect on your progress monthly. Celebrate wins, learn from setbacks, and adjust your goals as needed.

Building Rest and Enjoyment into Your Plan

It’s important to remember rest and happiness are essential parts of the process. Achieving your goals shouldn’t feel like a chore. Incorporate activities that bring you happiness and relaxation, whether it’s spending time with loved ones, engaging in a hobby, or simply enjoying a quiet moment with a cup of tea.

Tip: Schedule relaxation time just as you would any other commitment. Rest is productive because it replenishes your energy and focus.

Relaxing table with bouquet poppies, alarm clock and books

Conclusion

This year, to achieve lasting success, give yourself the gift of a more thoughtful, balanced approach to growth. By addressing overwhelm, setting meaningful goals, and taking a holistic view of your well-being, you can create lasting change in your life. Remember, progress is more important than perfection. Start small, reassess often, and celebrate each step forward. A healthier, happier you is within reach—one goal at a time.

References

Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (1985). Intrinsic motivation and self-determination in human behavior. Springer Science & Business Media

Gollwitzer, P. M. (1999). Implementation intentions: Strong effects of simple plans. American Psychologist, 54(7), 493-503.

Lally, P., van Jaarsveld, C. H. M., Potts, H. W. W., & Wardle, J. (2009). How are habits formed: Modelling habit formation in the real world. European Journal of Social Psychology, 40(6), 998-1009

Prochaska, J. O., & DiClemente, C. C. (1983). Stages and processes of self-change of smoking: Toward an integrative model of change. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 51(3), 390–395.

8 Self-Esteem Tips for University Students with ADHD

8 Self-Esteem Tips for University Students with ADHD

Self-esteem is a person’s overall sense of value and self-worth, profoundly influencing every aspect of life. For university students with ADHD, improving self-esteem is particularly important. High self-esteem can enhance your academic success and social interactions, optimising your university experience.

Understanding Self-Esteem

High self-esteem impacts academic success, relationships, career choices, personal growth, and happiness. For students with ADHD, developing self-confidence strategies is essential to increasing self-esteem.

If you have high self-esteem, you will recognise your strengths, be comfortable with your flaws, and have the resilience to manage setbacks or criticisms.

Low self-esteem may manifest as a negative view of yourself, uncertainty about your opinions and abilities, challenges in decision-making, and poor response to criticism.

Even if you haven’t been formally diagnosed with ADHD, you may recognise many of its traits in yourself. Not all adults choose to pursue an official ADHD diagnosis, as it’s a personal decision based on individual circumstances and preferences. As a Counsellor and ADHD Coach, I focus on tackling the challenges posed by these traits, aiming to enhance your quality of life and make daily living more manageable.

If you are a university student with ADHD, this blog will help you optimise your self-esteem, enabling you to succeed academically and socially throughout your university years.

Smiling university student with ADHD feeling confident and happy while holding study books, representing self-esteem tips for students with ADHD

Case Study: Work on Self-Esteem with Megan

In a recent coaching session, I worked with Megan, a student who identified “adaptability” as one of her key strengths. Megan shared a story about planning a trip with a friend who cancelled at short notice. Despite feeling disappointed, Megan decided to continue the trip as a sole traveller, which was an amazingly empowering experience.

During coaching, we discussed how this situation highlighted her adaptability and showcased her strengths in decision-making, resilience, and independence—critical factors in increasing self-esteem and boosting confidence.

Recognising these strengths helped Megan, who was uncertain about her academic journey, gain clarity and increase her self-confidence. Consequently, she has made significant progress in her academic success.

This example illustrates how identifying and embracing your strengths can enhance self-esteem and equip you to overcome challenges effectively, contributing to tremendous academic success.

8 Academic Success Tips for Improve Self-Esteem

1. ADHD and Embracing Your Strengths

You can boost your self-esteem by embracing your unique strengths. You will have many strengths, but if you have low self-esteem, you may need to recognise them. Take a moment to appreciate and embrace your strengths, talents and capabilities.

It could be your creative thinking, ability to hyperfocus, lateral solid thinking skills, engaging communication, or natural spontaneity. Embracing these qualities can elevate your self-esteem and empower you to approach life confidently.

To identify your strengths, try jotting them down on paper or use downloadable worksheets. Reflect on moments where you’ve actively used these strengths; visualising specific events can help you recall them in detail.

As you do this, you may uncover additional strengths featured during those times. If you consider thoughtfulness a strength, revisit a memory where you demonstrated thoughtfulness. Reflect on what other strengths you displayed at that moment.

2. Set Goals as a Student with ADHD

Setting goals can give you, as a student with ADHD, a clear sense of direction, making it much easier to navigate your academic and personal journey effectively. Think of goals as your signposts. They aren’t rigid; they can adapt and change as new opportunities come your way. They serve as a solid starting point but leave room for exploring new and exciting pathways.

Avoid placing limitations on your abilities. Whether you want to achieve something academically or personally, please write it down or visualise yourself succeeding. Divide big goals into smaller, achievable tasks to sustain momentum and monitor progress.

Celebrate each task completed with self-praise and acknowledge the sense of empowerment it brings. Use these achievements as the motivation to continue towards your larger goals.

Consider obstacles as part of the process and approach them with self-compassion rather than viewing them as setbacks and failures. Reframe challenges as opportunities for personal growth, reinforcing your resilience and determination.

3. Finding Your Voice: Advocate for Yourself

ADHD can affect your communication skills, especially if you have articulation disorders that affect speech and language. You might find it challenging to organise your thoughts clearly or need help with pronunciation, making it difficult to express yourself effectively.

Sometimes, you might interrupt others or speak impulsively, leading to misunderstandings and frustrating communication.

These challenges can affect your confidence in communicating with others. However, understanding these difficulties and getting the proper support, such as speech therapy or counselling, can help you improve your self-esteem and communication skills.

Remember, your voice matters; your unique perspective and experiences value every conversation and situation. Advocating for yourself is a powerful way to increase self-esteem and boost confidence.

You assert your self-worth by standing up for your needs, preferences, and boundaries. Consistently doing this reinforces the belief that you are capable, deserving, and worthy of respect, ultimately improving your self-esteem.

  • Identify your Communication Barriers:  Recognising these barriers can help you develop strategies to overcome them and enhance your communication skills.
  • Identify your needs:  Understand what accommodations you require, such as a quieter workspace, extended deadlines, or assistive technology.  Knowing your needs well helps you to prepare ahead of time.
  • Schedule a Meeting:  Arrange a meeting with the relevant person (lecturer, course supervisor or student support team)
  • Communicate Clearly: Explain your ADHD and how the challenges can impact your academic success. Use “I” statements to express your needs. For example: “I work best in a quiet environment,” “I need extra time to process information”. Be specific; do your research so you know what help is available.
  • Offer Solutions and Compromise:  Be prepared to suggest solutions and be open to compromise.
  • Build Confidence:  Practice the conversation beforehand to build confidence. You can do this by using a journal, practising with a friend, or rehearsing the conversation using a voice recording app.

4. Building Resilience with ADHD

Resilience refers to your capacity to work through difficulties, adapt to challenging situations, and become stronger through adversity.

As a student with ADHD, building resilience is especially important. It helps you manage challenges like attention difficulties, staying organised, and controlling impulses.

Resilience allows one to see challenges as opportunities for growth and stay motivated even when things get tough. It also helps one handle stress better, keeps one’s mindset positive, and improves problem-solving skills.

Resilience encourages taking care of yourself and prevents you from feeling isolated.

To enhance resilience, aim to maintain a positive outlook, seek solutions to challenges, learn from your experiences, and cultivate a network of supportive friends, family, and mentors. Strengthening these abilities will aid in your academic and personal success.

5.  Emotional Regulation and ADHD

Emotional regulation can significantly help students with ADHD build self-esteem. Managing emotions effectively allows you to respond to challenges calmly and thoughtfully, reducing impulsive reactions that might lead to regret or negative self-talk.

You can better control emotional responses and confidently navigate social interactions by developing skills like mindfulness, diaphragmatic breathing, grounding techniques, and cognitive reframing.

When you handle stressful situations well, you reinforce a positive self-image and demonstrate to yourself that you are capable and resilient.

This self-assurance enhances self-esteem, making facing new challenges and pursuing personal goals easier. Focusing on emotional regulation creates a stable foundation for improved self-worth and overall well-being.

6. Adopt A Healthy Lifestyle

Maintaining a healthy lifestyle is vital for enhancing self-esteem. Good nutrition, regular exercise, and mindfulness practices like meditation can significantly impact your mental and physical well-being.

Planning your days helps you maintain a regular routine. Check out my blog  daily planning tips to assist students with ADHD.

7. Social Engagement

Social interactions are significant for boosting your self-esteem, especially if you have ADHD. Positive interactions validate you, give you feedback, and make you feel like you belong. They counteract any feelings of isolation or doubt you might have.

When you engage with supportive friends and family members, you receive encouragement that strengthens your confidence and self-worth.

By nurturing meaningful relationships and building a support network, you can experience higher self-esteem and overall well-being as a student with ADHD, boosting your overall well-being and academic success.

8. Meet your Role Models

Consider who you admire most, whether a family member, a peer, or someone in the public eye. Their accomplishments and personal journeys can be a great source of inspiration!

Happy university graduate with ADHD holding her certificate after academic success

To Conclude

As a Counsellor and ADHD Coach, I’m here to support you in boosting your self-esteem to improve your academic success and overall university experience. Please don’t hesitate to reach out if you need additional guidance.

Student Success with ADHD: Daily Planning Tips for University Life

Student Success with ADHD: Daily Planning Tips for University Life

Navigating university life is an exciting milestone, but for students with ADHD, it can also be overwhelming. From managing coursework deadlines to balancing social life and self-care, structuring a routine that works for you is key.

A major study by Bristol University found that one in seven students has ADHD or autism—equating to around 14% of all students. The research also highlighted a strong link between ADHD and other neurodevelopmental conditions, such as dyslexia and dyspraxia, as well as mental health challenges like anxiety and depression.

So, how can students with ADHD thrive at university? One of the most effective strategies is creating an ADHD-friendly daily plan to improve focus, reduce overwhelm, and enhance academic success. Whether you’re newly diagnosed or have been navigating ADHD for years, this guide will provide practical strategies to help you stay organised and manage university life with confidence.

Structuring an ADHD-Friendly Schedule

Taking charge of your time management is one of the best ways to create a structured yet flexible daily routine that supports your academic and personal success. A well-planned schedule can help you prioritise tasks, reduce procrastination, and feel in control—all while allowing time for social activities and self-care.

At first, creating a routine might feel overwhelming. However, by developing an effective morning routine, using ADHD-friendly study strategies, and maintaining consistent sleep habits, you can significantly lower stress levels and set yourself up for success.

What is ADHD Paralysis?

ADHD paralysis, or task paralysis, occurs when you feel mentally ‘stuck’ and unable to begin or complete tasks—even when you know they are important. This can stem from overwhelm, perfectionism, or difficulty prioritising tasks.

Breaking free from ADHD paralysis involves:

✔ Breaking tasks into smaller steps

✔ Setting clear, realistic goals

✔ Using visual and digital organisational tools

✔ Incorporating rewards and self-motivation strategies

With the right techniques, you can regain momentum and tackle tasks with greater ease!

8 Daily Planning Tips for Students with ADHD

1. Find the Right Planner for You

Choose a planner that suits your ADHD-friendly workflow—whether that’s a digital calendar, a wall planner, whiteboard, or physical journal. There is no one-size-fits-all, so experiment until you find what works best!

If you struggle with consistency, view it as a work in progress rather than a failure. The key is to make your planner an enjoyable tool that supports your goals rather than feeling like a chore.

2. Schedule a Study Routine

Your study schedule should be anchored by non-negotiable commitments such as lectures and deadlines. Around these, schedule ‘negotiables’ such as study breaks, meals, and exercise to ensure a balanced approach to productivity and well-being.

Be flexible! If a particular study method isn’t working, adjust it until you find a structure that supports both focus and relaxation.

3. Establish a Sleep Routine

A consistent sleep schedule is essential for managing ADHD effectively. Sleep deprivation can make inattention, emotional dysregulation, and forgetfulness worse.

🔹 Try the ‘5-4-3-2-1’ method: When your alarm rings, challenge yourself to get out of bed before finishing your countdown.

🔹 Minimise screen time before bed to improve sleep quality.

🔹 Create a bedtime wind-down routine, such as listening to my free Sleep Meditation here, designed to help you relax and drift into deep, restorative sleep.

4. Organise Your Morning Routine

Your mornings set the tone for the day. Consider preparing your bag, outfit, and meals the night before to reduce stress in the morning.

Visualisation is also a powerful tool—take a few moments before bed to mentally ‘rehearse’ the next day’s plan, reinforcing structure and preparedness.

5. Maximise Your Productivity with Timers

ADHD brains often struggle with time blindness, making it difficult to estimate how long tasks will take.

✔ Use a timer to track how long your morning routine, study sessions, or commutes take.

✔ Keep an analogue clock or wall clock in your workspace instead of relying on your phone to avoid distractions.

✔ Set designated time slots for social media use to prevent unintentional procrastination.

6. Maintain Energy with Regular Meals

Nutrition plays a huge role in concentration and mood regulation. Plan meals ahead of time to avoid impulsive eating and ensure balanced intake of carbs, healthy fats, and proteins for sustained energy.

✔ Avoid sugary snacks that can lead to energy crashes.

✔ Stay hydrated throughout the day!

✔ Prepare healthy grab-and-go snacks such as nuts, yoghurt, or fruit.

7. Schedule Downtime & Self-Care

Your well-being is just as important as your academic success. Prioritise activities that relax and recharge you—whether that’s exercise, meditation, creative hobbies, or time with friends.

⏳ Balance social events with academic priorities by scheduling gatherings on lighter workload days.

💡 If you’re prone to ADHD paralysis, use small ‘reset’ activities—like taking a shower, listening to music, or going for a walk—to break the cycle and regain focus.

A group of happy university students walking together, smiling, and discussing notes, representing social and academic success for students with ADHD.

8. Practise Meditation for Focus & Calm

Meditation is an excellent tool for ADHD students, helping to improve emotional regulation, reduce stress, and enhance focus. Even just five minutes of mindfulness can strengthen concentration and clarity.

New to meditation? Try simple breathing exercises or grounding techniques instead. If you’d like extra support, my Overthinking Hypnosis Recording is designed to help quiet mental chatter and promote focus.

Final Thoughts: Creating a Routine That Works for You

Building an ADHD-friendly university routine isn’t about rigid perfection—it’s about finding what works best for you and allowing flexibility as you grow.

Here’s a quick success checklist: ✔ Flexibility: Adjust your routine as needed.

✔ Consistency: Small daily habits lead to long-term success.

✔ Accountability: Share your schedule with friends or housemates.

✔ Rewards: Celebrate small wins to keep yourself motivated!

If you need extra support in building better structure, time management, and productivity strategies, I offer ADHD coaching and therapy tailored to students. Visit my services page to learn more or book a discovery call today!

References:

FE News. (2023, September 12). One in seven university students report having ADHD or being autistic, new study reveals. FE News. Retrieved from https://www.fenews.co.uk/education/one-in-seven-university-students-report-having-adhd-or-being-autistic-new-study-reveals/

Access to Work: ADHD Strategy Coaching

Access To Work: ADHD Strategy Coaching

Living with ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) can present a unique set of challenges in the workplace. If you are diagnosed with ADHD or identify as having undiagnosed ADHD, you may experience difficulties with executive functioning, emotional regulation and impulse control. These ADHD traits can impact workplace productivity and overall job satisfaction.  However, as an ADHD Coach, I can provide the correct support to help you learn techniques and strategies tailored to your unique needs, enabling you to thrive in the workplace.

What is Access to Work?

Access to Work is a government-funded program in the UK designed to help people with neurodivergent conditions, physical disabilities, or mental health issues overcome work-related barriers. If you have ADHD, Access to Work can provide funding for equipment and services to help you in the workplace, such as individual ADHD Coaching, assistive technology, and workplace adjustments.

How ADHD Coaching Can Help Through Access to Work

Access to Work provides financial support for ADHD coaching services ranging from 6 to 26 weeks. Your individual needs and circumstances determine the financial support needed, which can cover a significant portion of the coaching fees, making it more affordable and accessible.  ou can learn more about Access to Work Coaching on my webpage.

Boosting Workplace Performance Through ADHD Coaching

Personalised Strategy Development

ADHD traits show up differently for everyone; therefore, ADHD coaching looks different for everyone. A professional ADHD coach will have carried out specific training around ADHD’s challenges and can introduce practical strategies to help you succeed in the workplace. ADHD Coaching is typically a goal-oriented process; with your coach, you can plan short-term and long-term goals you would like to focus on.  An ADHD Coach will also help with other areas of your life that you may be struggling with that affect workplace performance.  For example, you may have personal goals such as cooking healthy meals or keeping your home clean and tidy, as these factors can also impact workplace performance.

Enhanced Productivity and Focus:

Enhanced Productivity and Focus: Many individuals with ADHD have problems with executive functioning, which includes difficulties with time management, emotional regulation, task initiation, prioritisation, and planning andorganisation. Part of the ADHD Coaching process is introducing techniques and strategies to help with these challenges. Setting and achieving goals will boost your self-esteem, which can help in all areas of life.  Techniques frequently used by ADHD Coaches include cognitive behavioural therapy, mindfulness practices, and strategies that can help with executive functions, emotional regulation and impulse control.

Building Confidence and Resilience:

ADHD can lead to feelings of frustration, self-doubt, and imposter syndrome, particularly relating to workplace performance. ADHD coaching can help you build confidence and self-esteem by focusing on your strengths and achievements. Developing coping strategies and concentrating on your talents is the best way to improve your work performance and overall self-worth.

Improving Communication Skills:

Communicating effectively in the workplace is essential for workplace success. For individuals with ADHD, communicating with others can, at times, be challenging, particularly in high-stress situations or when faced with complex instructions. ADHD Coaching can help you develop new skills, such as communicating assertively, advocating for yourself, asking for help or clarification, improving your social skills, and managing impulsive tendencies during conversations.

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Ongoing Support and Accountability:

ADHD Coaching is more than developing strategies; it provides ongoing support and accountability. Your coach will work with you to set goals, track your progress, adjust strategies as needed, and celebrate your successes. This regular support can be invaluable in helping you stay on track and continue to grow personally and professionally.

​Assistive Technology and Equipment:

Funding is available for various assistive technologies and equipment to aid concentration, organisation, and productivity. Examples include noise-cancelling headphones to block out distractions, screen readers to assist with reading and comprehension, and mind-mapping software to help with brainstorming and planning.

Travel and Transportation Support:

Access to Work can assist with transportation to and from work, alleviating challenges associated with commuting.

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Mental Health Support:

The Access to Work program offers a range of mental health services to manage stress and anxiety associated with ADHD. These include counselling, therapy, and access to mental health resources and support groups.

Redheaded woman sitting in a workplace holding headphones, representing support and coaching for individuals with ADHD through the Access to Work program

Who Can Apply for Access to Work Funding?

  • UK residents aged 16 and over
  • Engaged in full-time or part-time employment
  • About to start or return to jobs within the next 12 weeks
  • Self-employed

Do I Need a Formal Diagnosis to Apply for Access to Work Support?

You can still be eligible for support without a formal diagnosis. This flexibility ensures that people can access the help they need regardless of their diagnostic status.

This commitment to inclusivity guarantees that everyone, regardless of specific circumstances, is appreciated and integrated into a supportive community.

The program provides funding for ADHD Coaching and any necessary accommodation for you or your employer to ensure you can thrive. Access to Work offers grants of up to £66,000 annually. This financial support covers the costs of assistance tailored to your specific needs.

How to Apply for Access to Work Support

If you are employed, involving your employer and the HR team is beneficial when applying. They can contribute around 20% towards the funding and assist with the application process. Their support and involvement can make your application smoother and more successful.

If self-employed, you can apply directly through the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) website without employer involvement. The application form is available online.

Applying for Access to Work is straightforward. In the application, you must describe how your condition presents challenges in your role. When completing the application, strive for transparency and thoroughness to ensure you receive the support you need.

How Many ADHD Coaching Sessions Do I Need?

There is no set number of sessions required. However, if you would like to set goals and have the coach’s support while you work through your specific goals, it is recommended that you have sessions regularly, whether weekly or fortnightly. When you notice that the techniques and strategies are helping you in the workplace, you may take longer periods of time between sessions.

Access to Work: Empowering Individuals with ADHD

The Access to Work scheme ensures all individuals thrive despite difficulties. The initiative promotes a diverse and dynamic workforce where everyone can succeed.

As a counsellor and a certified ADHD Coach, I am happy to answer any questions you may have about the application process. If you have any questions or want to book a session, please get in touch with me using the link below.

Hypnotherapy for a Virtual Gastric Band

RTT Hypnotherapy for a Virtual Gastric Band

Have you tried countless diets, only to find yourself trapped in a pattern of crash dieting, where any weight loss you achieve is soon followed by weight gain? You may have seen positive results with some diets, but your old eating habits creep back over time. Most traditional diets focus on restricting certain foods, which can be challenging to maintain over the long term. However, weight problems extend far beyond your food choices; weight issues are deeply ingrained in subconscious beliefs and emotional ties to eating.

Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) and Virtual Gastric Band Hypnotherapy can transform your weight loss journey by addressing the emotional connection to eating. RTT Hypnotherapy offers a sustainable and effective solution to weight management by addressing the psychological factors that influence your food choices.

What is Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT)?

RTT is an innovative therapy designed by renowned therapist Marisa Peer. It combines the most powerful elements of Hypnosis, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), and Psychodynamic Therapy. This combination of therapies allows for deep and lasting results by working directly with the subconscious mind, where our habits and beliefs are formed.

As a therapist, I’ve used RTT to help many clients struggling with weight management issues, and the root cause of these issues goes far beyond the types of foods being consumed. 

Underlying beliefs and emotional triggers lead to unhealthy eating patterns, which need to be addressed for lasting change. RTT allows us to dig deep into these subconscious patterns and reframe them to support healthier choices.

What is Virtual Gastric Band Hypnotherapy?

A Virtual Gastric Band is a non-surgical approach to weight management that mimics the effects of a physical gastric band but uses the power of hypnosis instead of invasive surgery. During an RTT session, hypnosis allows you to tap into your subconscious mind to uncover and address the underlying causes of your weight challenges.

Unlike traditional gastric band surgery, the Virtual Gastric Band involves no physical procedures, medical risks, or recovery time. Instead, this process uses the power of suggestion to convince your mind that you’ve undergone a gastric band operation, leading to a natural reduction in appetite. You feel satisfied eating smaller portions, making it easier to lose weight and maintain those results over time—all from the comfort of your own home.

relaxing beach stone podium representing relaxing with RTT hypnotherapy for shedding weight

Why Can We Struggle With Weight Management Issues?

Weight management is not just about overeating; it’s often tied to deep-seated emotional and psychological factors. Many of us develop unhealthy relationships with food as a response to trauma, stress or emotional needs. For example:

  • Emotional Eating: Some people turn to food for comfort when stressed, anxious, or unhappy. This emotional eating can be a coping mechanism developed in childhood or during challenging times.
  • Beliefs About Food: Deep-rooted beliefs, such as “I deserve to treat myself with food” or “I need to finish everything on my plate,” can lead to overeating and unhealthy food choices.
  • Past Trauma: In some cases, unresolved trauma can lead to disordered eating patterns as a form of control or comfort. These are psychological issues that diets alone cannot address.

RTT allows us to reframe these deep-seated beliefs, replacing them with healthier patterns that align with your long-term goals for weight management.  If you are determined to achieve successful weight loss and make positive changes in your life, this non-surgical technique could be the ideal therapy for you.

Why Choose RTT and a Virtual Gastric Band Over Traditional Dieting?

Traditional diets often lead to short-term success, followed by weight regain. This happens because diets only address surface-level behaviour—what you eat—without tackling the psychological reasons behind overeating or unhealthy food choices. RTT, combined with Virtual Gastric Band Hypnosis, focuses on transforming your relationship with food from the inside out. By addressing the emotional and psychological triggers, you can free yourself from yo-yo dieting and achieve lasting results.  

No Deprivation

Many diets work by telling you what you can’t eat, leading to feelings of deprivation that can worsen weight problems. Restricting foods can make sticking to a diet difficult and, eventually, lead to overendugling or giving up entirely, so it’s not a long-term solution. RTT works differently. It helps you enjoy your favourite foods in moderation without feeling deprived. This freedom allows you to experience healthy weight loss, giving you the power to make lasting changes.

Sustainable Change

One key to long-term weight management is learning to trust your body’s natural hunger signals. RTT helps reconnect you with these signals, allowing you to eat intuitively. You’ll learn to recognise when you are hungry and stop eating when satisfied, leading to eating smaller amounts for sustainable weight loss.

Set Your Personal Weight Loss Goals

In the first session of RTT, we’ll discuss your specific weight loss goals so the session can be tailored to suit your needs best. Your motivations may vary—some individuals are focused on losing weight due to medical conditions such as heart disease, diabetes, or digestive issues. Others may seek a healthier lifestyle to have more energy for activities like playing with their children or grandchildren or even taking up a new sport. For some, the goal is to improve their self-image, including wearing the clothes they genuinely want rather than feeling limited by their current size.

The Science Behind Hypnosis and Weight Loss

There’s solid evidence supporting the effectiveness of hypnosis when combined with Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) for weight loss. A meta-analysis conducted by Kirsch, Montgomery, and Sapirstein (1993) found that integrating hypnosis with CBT significantly enhanced weight loss results, with improvements of up to 70% over using CBT alone. The study also showed that participants who used hypnosis with CBT were more likely to maintain their weight loss over time.

What Happens During an RTT Session?

You’ll enter a deeply relaxed state through hypnosis during an RTT session. In this state, your subconscious mind becomes more receptive to positive suggestions and imagery. If you are ready to start shedding weight using this non-surgical technique, this is what you can expect.

  • Hypnosis Session: You’ll visualise the installation of a virtual gastric band, simulating the physical effects of a real gastric band without the discomfort of surgery. This process helps you feel full and satisfied with smaller portions of food.
  • Personalised Audio Recording: After the session, you’ll receive a customised hypnosis audio recording to listen to for 21 days. This daily reinforcement is crucial for solidifying the changes made during your session and helping you create new, healthier habits.
  • Ongoing Support: Your therapist will guide you throughout your weight loss journey, ensuring you have the tools and strategies to maintain your progress.

Why RTT Works

RTT works by identifying and reframing the deep-rooted beliefs and emotions that drive unhealthy eating behaviours. By changing these patterns at the subconscious level, you can create lasting change in your relationship with food. Combined with Virtual Gastric Band Therapy, this approach makes weight loss achievable without the risks, recovery time, and discomfort of a physical gastric band.

Beautiful plus size woman supporting health and wellbing

Case Study: Michelle’s Journey to Confidence with Virtual Hypnosis Gastric Band Therapy (RTT)

Michelle, a 53-year-old teacher, initially came to me for counselling.  Michelle struggled when it came to weight management, confidence, and self-image—years of yo-yo dieting and weight fluctuations had taken their toll on her mental health.

Furthermore, Michelle explained that she would start a new diet enthusiastically and see some results, but she only saw short-term results as her old habits would return and her weight would pile back on. She spoke about worrying excessively about the health issues associated with weight problems. Michelle knew she had to make big lifestyle changes if she was ever going to be the fit, healthy person she dreamed of being. 

I could see that Michelle needed more than just a solution to her weight management issues; she needed to rebuild her confidence, regain control of her eating habits, and address the root cause of her struggle with her self-image.  I spoke to Michelle about the hypnotic gastric band, specifically through the practice of RTT, and she was keen to try it. 

Regression Therapy

During regression, Michelle returned to being in the school lunch hall when she was in primary school; she remembers school lunch often being the only hot meal she would eat as her parents struggled financially.  Michelle would eat dinner as quickly as possible, as the children who finished their plates could go up for a second helping.  Michelle spoke of eating exceptionally quickly and finishing her plate in case the food ran out.  This scene demonstrated that Michelle had formed the belief that food could run out, so she had to eat as much as possible when it was available.

The virtual gastric band hypnosis worked by creating a powerful suggestion that Michelle’s stomach was smaller than it was, helping her feel fuller faster and naturally reduce her portions without feeling deprived. However, we also addressed her mindset around food. We removed the belief that food was scarce and that it could run out. Addressing the beliefs around food is not a technique used in surgical gastric band therapy, but it is an essential part of gastric band hypnosis.

Michelle felt a mind-shift change directly after the session, as she was looking at weight loss through a completely different lens. We followed up a few days later, and Michelle had her weight loss goal in place and planned how she would reach it. She was motivated.

3 Months After The Session

Three months after her virtual gastric band hypnosis therapy, Michelle had not only shed weight but also a significant amount of emotional baggage. She was down several clothing sizes, but more importantly, she felt lighter in her mind and spirit. She reconnected with friends and even began to enjoy shopping for clothes again, something that used to fill her with dread.  I was extremely proud of the hard work Michelle put into the RTT process which contributed to her getting these amazing results.

Ready to Transform Your Relationship with Food?

To summarise, the hypnotic gastric band isn’t just about creating a physical sensation of fullness or imagining the physical size of the stomach shrinking; it’s about transforming how you think and interact with food.  Please book a discovery call if you are ready to make a positive change.

How Therapy Can Help You Manage ADHD & Find Clarity

Adult ADHD: How Therapy Can Help You Find Clarity

Living with ADHD can feel like constantly juggling too many things at once—thoughts racing, unfinished tasks, and a sense of chaos that never quite settles. The distractions, impulsivity, and struggles with organisation can be overwhelming, making even simple daily routines feel like a challenge. But ADHD isn’t just about difficulties—it’s a different way of thinking, and with the right support, it can be harnessed to work for you rather than against you.

As a counsellor and ADHD coach, I’ve worked with many adults navigating the ups and downs of ADHD. I understand how exhausting it can be when your mind feels like it never switches off. Therapy doesn’t aim to ‘fix’ you—because you’re not broken—but it does provide tools, understanding, and strategies that can transform the chaos into clarity, helping you feel more in control of your life.

How ADHD Therapy Can Support You

1. Understanding ADHD and Embracing Self-Acceptance

One of the most powerful aspects of therapy is gaining a deeper understanding of how ADHD affects you. ADHD isn’t just about being forgetful or distracted—it’s about how your brain processes information. Recognising that your brain works differently, not incorrectly, can be a huge relief.

Through therapy, you can start to make sense of your unique strengths and challenges. You’ll learn that ADHD isn’t a personal failure but simply a different way of thinking. This shift in perspective can help release frustration and self-blame, paving the way for greater self-compassion and confidence.

2. Creating Personalised ADHD Strategies

ADHD coaching and therapy aren’t one-size-fits-all. Personalised strategies make such a difference in what works for someone else might not work for you. In therapy, we work together to develop techniques that suit your specific needs, such as:

  • Organisation & Time Management: Structuring your day in a way that works for your brain, using visual reminders, timers, and systems that reduce overwhelm.
  • Improving Focus & Attention: Mindfulness and cognitive techniques to help reduce distractions and increase sustained attention.
  • Managing Stress & Overwhelm: Practical coping strategies, relaxation exercises, and grounding techniques to help you stay calm and focused.

Having the right strategies in place can transform how you approach daily life, making things feel more manageable and less like a constant uphill struggle.

3. Managing Emotional Ups and Downs

ADHD isn’t just about focus—it also affects emotions. Many adults with ADHD experience intense emotions that feel impossible to control. Small frustrations can feel like major setbacks and moments of joy can be overwhelming, too.

Therapy provides tools to manage emotional highs and lows, helping you develop self-awareness and emotional regulation. Techniques like cognitive restructuring can help shift negative thought patterns, while mindfulness exercises can keep you grounded when emotions start to take over. Learning to manage your emotions can lead to stronger relationships, better decision-making, and an overall sense of calm.

Woman with a cloud above her head, representing the mental chaos of ADHD. Therapy and ADHD coaching can help manage these overwhelming thoughts.

4. Boosting Self-Esteem & Confidence

If you’ve been told throughout your life that you’re ‘too disorganised’ or ‘not trying hard enough,’ it’s no surprise if your confidence has taken a hit. Many adults with ADHD struggle with self-doubt, feeling like they’re always one step behind.

Therapy can help rebuild your self-esteem by focusing on your strengths rather than your challenges. You’ll start recognising the achievements you’ve overlooked, no matter how small. By setting achievable goals and celebrating progress, therapy helps you see that you’re capable of success, just like anyone else.

Breaking free from negative patterns plays a key role in building confidence. If self-doubt and old thought patterns are holding you back, you might find this blog on Building Self-Confidence and Breaking Negative Patterns helpful. It explores shifting your mindset and developing a stronger sense of self-worth.

5. Strengthening Relationships

ADHD can sometimes impact relationships, whether it’s forgetting important dates, struggling with communication, or feeling misunderstood. Therapy can help you navigate these challenges by improving communication skills and providing strategies to build stronger, healthier connections with loved ones, friends, and colleagues.

Understanding how ADHD affects your interactions can help you explain your needs more effectively and develop strategies for better communication. Stronger relationships create a stable support system, which is invaluable when managing ADHD.

6. Setting and Achieving Goals

Goal-setting can be tricky when you have ADHD. Big goals feel overwhelming, and smaller tasks often get lost in the chaos. Therapy helps break down your goals into manageable steps, create realistic action plans, and track progress without the pressure of perfection.

Whether you want to improve your work performance, stay on top of daily tasks, or focus on personal development, therapy provides the structure and accountability to keep you moving forward.

7. Medication & Therapy: A Holistic Approach

For some adults with ADHD, medication can be helpful, but it’s not the only approach. Therapy provides practical skills and emotional support, helping you develop strategies tailored to your needs—whether or not you choose to use medication.

By focusing on self-awareness, coping techniques, and structured support, therapy empowers you to manage ADHD in a way that works for you.

Finding Clarity & Confidence with ADHD Therapy

ADHD doesn’t have to mean chaos. With the right support, strategies, and understanding, you can feel more in control of your life. Therapy provides the tools to help you navigate ADHD with confidence, whether that’s through developing better-coping strategies, improving emotional regulation, or simply learning to accept yourself fully.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed and unsure where to start, therapy could be the first step toward clarity. If you’d like to explore ADHD coaching or counselling, I’d love to help. Take a look at my ADHD support services, and let’s start your journey toward a more balanced, confident life.

10 Powerful Journalling Tips to Boost Focus, Clarity, and Well-Being

10 Powerful Journalling Tips to Boost Focus, Clarity, and Well-Being

Imagine having a tool to help you clear your mind, eliminate stress and anxiety, and release your creativity in only a few minutes each day. Does this seem too good to be true? The good news is that this tool is available and only costs you time!

Daily journalling is a simple yet powerful activity that can improve your life more than you may realise. Research demonstrates journalling is a healthy way of increasing your emotional and mental health, communication skills, and personal growth. Learn more in this blog about the top 10 benefits of daily journalling and how it can help you.

1. Discover Peacefulness in A Busy World

Our daily life is usually bustling with demands, which can lead to issues such as overwhelm, sleep issues and mental and physical problems.  Keeping a journal not only has mental health benefits, but it also provides a sanctuary for your ideas, allowing you to lessen the chaos and restore mental clarity.

Writing down your thoughts, goals, and reflections can help you see things more clearly so you can focus on the essential things in life.‎ One of the many benefits of journalling is that it provides a space for positive self-talk, which can boost your confidence and increase your self-esteem.

2. Breathe Easier by Letting Go your Emotions 

Life can often throw us challenges, which can cause stress, anxiety, and emotional ups and downs. However, the simple act of journalling can help with many of these challenges. Writing in a journal offers a secure and judgment-free environment to express your thoughts and emotions and connect with your inner self.

3. Gain More Self-Awareness to Uncover Your True Self

Keeping a journal can provide a window into your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. Journaling is a powerful tool for reflecting on past experiences; you may find trends that indicate more about your personality and what inspires you, aiding personal growth.

The first step towards achieving personal growth is creating a private space to be in the present moment. In addition to uncovering your true self, journalling improves your physical health, as demonstrated in a study by Karen A. Bailie and Kay Wilhelm.

cozy composition with mug, candles and a blanket representing grounding exercises

4. Enhance Your Emotional Well-Being with Each Page

Engaging in a habit as easy as writing down a few phrases can significantly enhance your mental well-being, which is part of the magic of journaling. Various studies demonstrate that keeping a journal of your thoughts and emotions can lessen the symptoms of major depressive disorder, sadness, overwhelm, and anxiety.

5. Release Your Creativity—There Are No Boundaries or Limits

You may believe that journalling is limited to writing. However, it’s also a space where your imagination can run wild by drawing, sketching, and brainstorming. Your creativity can flow onto the page when you write without limitations. Whether working on a project or exploring new ideas, journaling is an effective way to reach your full creative potential.

6. Resolve Issues Expertly

Have you ever found yourself needing help to solve a problem? If the answer is yes, consider putting it in writing. Writing in a journal lets you view your difficulties and emotional triggers from different perspectives. It’s a form of communicating with yourself when strategising, evaluating, and breaking down the problem into smaller, more manageable tasks. The answer may show up on the paper in front of you before you realise it.‎

Young woman journalling in bed with a notebook and pen, creating a relaxing writing environment

7. Set and Smash Goals  

We have ambitions and goals, but achieving those dreams requires a strategy. That’s the purpose of journalling. Outlining your objectives and the measures necessary to reach them can create a road map for success. Maintaining a journal allows you to stay motivated and accountable by allowing you to monitor your progress. ‎

For more information on goal-setting, you can check out my blog.  As Ryan R. Bailey highlights in his article, ‘Goal Setting and Action Planning for Health Behaviour Change,’ journaling can be a powerful tool for achieving health-related goals.

8. Improve Your Communication Skills and Emotional Intelligence

Words have power; the more you use them, the more familiar they will become. Maintaining a journal can help you improve your vocabulary and communication skills by allowing you to express yourself more confidently and clearly. Writing in a journal may enhance your ability to advocate for yourself, whether in a meeting, sending an email, or during a difficult conversation.

9. Improve Your Memory—One Blank Page at a Time

How often do you forget what happened during the day or what you have learned? We can all experience forgetfulness or brain fog from time to time, whether navigating the workplace, learning something new, or working through our daily to-do list.

Things can become more ingrained in your memory when you write them down. You’re keeping memories and improving your capacity to recall information when needed by routinely recording your experiences. Your journal becomes a gold mine of notes you may return to whenever you choose.‎

10. Heal and Grow More Thoroughly

Although obstacles in life can leave their mark, writing provides a therapeutic avenue to focus on yourself. Writing in a journal pushes you to go that bit deeper by identifying any barriers preventing you from moving forward. Journalling can be challenging if you are working through intrusive negative thoughts that are causing you to have challenging emotions such as shame or anger.

You can read more about managing shame in my blog.  If you are navigating your way around difficult situations. In that case, it is essential to remember you can reach out for support from trusted friends or family or professional help if you need extra help.

If you feel journalling can help you, the following steps are an excellent way to get started:

  • Establish a Habit: Decide on a time that works best for you, whether before bedtime or first thing in the morning.
  • Take Small Steps: It’s okay to miss a day; it doesn’t mean you should give up. Instead, pick up your pen again and get back to it whenever you are ready, even if you restart with a single line.
  • Be Honest: It’s your place to explore your inner world, so write from your heart, which can bring you many positive experiences.
  • Experiment with Different Formats: There are many types of journalling, such as bullet journalling, expressive writing, drawing images, and gratitude journalling.

Final Verdict: Your Journey Starts Today

Writing in a journal aids positive change, which can bring many benefits. You have a rare opportunity to develop a close relationship with yourself. Writing down your inner thoughts creates a safe space to explore your feelings, objectives, needs and preferences. Daily journalling is a simple yet powerful activity that can transform your life by improving communication skills and personal growth. Learn about the top 10 benefits of daily journalling and how it can help you reach your full potential.

Taking the first step towards journalling is could be the best thing you do today, for personal development, better health, and gaining a greater sense of self.  What are you waiting for, grab that paper and pen!

References:

Pennebaker, J. W., & Seagal, J. D. (1999). Emotional and physical health benefits of expressive writing. Advances in Psychiatric Treatment, 5(1), 13-19. https://doi.org/10.1192/apt.5.1.13

Smyth, J. M., & Pennebaker, J. W. (2019). Exploring the links between expressive writing and well-being: What we know, what we don’t know, and what we need to know. Frontiers in Psychology, 10, 2047. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2019.02047

Top 5 Tips for Setting Goals and Achieving Them

Top 5 Tips for Setting Goals and Achieving Them

Research shows that setting clear, structured goals significantly increases the likelihood of achieving them. Bailey (2019) explores this in Goal Setting and Action Planning for Health Behavior Change, emphasising the importance of a step-by-step approach—especially when working towards health-related goals. According to Bailey, action planning provides a clear path to success, ensuring efforts are focused and effective.

But goal setting isn’t just about achievement; it’s about taking control of your life and making meaningful progress. It’s easy to get distracted by daily demands, but setting personal goals—not just academic or career-focused ones—can be just as valuable. Achieving a goal doesn’t just move you forward; it boosts confidence, enhances self-esteem, and supports mental well-being.

No matter your age, it’s never too late (or too early) to start goal setting. Research by the National Foundation for Educational Research highlights that goal-setting frameworks, such as SMART goals, improve motivation and academic performance (Lord, Atkinson, & Mitchell, 2008). If you’re in college or university, now is the perfect time to develop this powerful habit. If you’re interested in learning more about daily planning tips, check out my blog.

1. Setting the Foundation: Writing and Defining Your Goals

Writing down your long-term goals is the first step towards turning aspirations into reality. Reflect on what is truly important to you and where you envisage yourself in the future. It could be in one month or year—whatever works for you. Gaining a clear vision of your goal is an important part of the goal-setting process.

If you only have vague goals, a good strategy is to get creative, design a vision board, and find photos and quotes that grab your attention.  Visualising a specific goal can bring it to life and give you a clear vision of where you want to be in the future. Also, getting creative is fun and has many mental health benefits.

Remember, a goal doesn’t have to be something extreme, such as running a marathon or skydiving (although it can be if that’s what you want!). Your personal goals can be anything that’s important to you, whether health or professional, or you want to focus on personal development goals.

Setting one goal can positively impact other areas of your life.  For instance, a personal development goal could be to boost your confidence and self-esteem. Increasing your confidence and self-esteem can open doors to new experiences, and you will learn to trust your decisions more. Personal development goals can be the best way to set the foundations for practical goal setting.  As you set new goals, discover how the role of reflection can support your progress in my blog.

2. Milestone Setting: Tracking Achievements

Once you have your big goal, the next step is to break it down into smaller goals and then break these smaller goals down into more manageable tasks.  A big goal can feel overwhelming if you imagine yourself standing at the bottom of a vast mountain; the top can seem so far off, and reaching the top can feel unachievable. However, climbing that mountain can feel doable when you break it down into manageable tasks.

A good idea is to set aside time to note down everything you need to do to complete a task. Putting pen to paper can give you a clearer understanding of what you must do to achieve that task and increase your chances of success.  It can often be the smaller tasks that are the most important steps, so getting these onto paper can be highly beneficial.

Keeping a to-do list can be an excellent way to keep you on track; you can then update it daily, marking off your achievements.  Your achievements are your driver to move forward, so it’s so important to celebrate them. When completing tasks, it can be helpful to identify any barriers you may come across and then do some problem-solving to decide how to overcome them. Balancing this with self-care is essential, as working towards your goals can be hard work. Reminding yourself of ‘why’ you want to reach your goal is another factor that will help drive you towards the finishing line.

man jumping through gap in cliffs signifying reaching your goals

3. Make Goal-Setting Achievable

I advocate for thinking big and not letting anything stand in your way, but it is also essential to set realistic goals. It’s about getting the balance right, as there are some things you need to consider when setting goals. For example, suppose the big goal is to climb Kilimanjaro. In that case, there is a lot to consider, such as physical fitness, mental well-being, the possibility of altitude sickness, booking vaccines, and available finances.

The next step towards positive goal setting is devising an action plan. To do this, write down the different factors you need to consider. Then, note the actionable steps it will take to complete each factor. You could work on them individually, or you might work on some simultaneously.

Pushing yourself out of your comfort zone when setting goals is positive, as ambitious goals are great for personal growth. However, you also want to avoid getting overwhelmed. So, think big, but also consider your capabilities and the available resources before setting goals, tasks, and time scales.

4. Set Timeframes: Assign Deadlines to Create a Sense of Urgency

Time scales and deadlines are essential to goal setting as they keep you on track, make you accountable, and can prevent procrastination and perfectionism.  You can gauge your progress by setting target dates for each task, including the small goals. There can be room for movement with this; it can be challenging to know how long a particular task will take, as it can depend on your current situation, such as external factors.

However, having an estimated timescale can keep you motivated as you know that each minute you work on the task brings you closer to reaching the end goal. For greater goal-setting success, you must clearly understand what you must do to achieve the big goal. You can then break this down into daily tasks.

man with arms outstretched enjoying freedom representing reaching goals

5. Seek Accountability and Be Resourceful

Keeping yourself accountable is another crucial part of goal setting. It can be easy to get off track, as other exciting things might appear while you work on a task. If this happens, note down whatever distracted you and spend time on it when you have a planned timeout. Some great online accountability trackers can help with motivation and organisation and keep you accountable.

Sharing your goal with a family member or trusted friend can help keep you accountable. However, if you prefer not to share your goal-setting journey with others, try writing about it in your journal or checking if there are local groups or an online community of people with similar goals. Professional help is also available if you would like a counsellor or coach to help you on your goal-setting journey. You can check out my services page for more information.

Checking your progress regularly is a great way to ensure you’re on the right track. It’s important to remember to celebrate your achievements, even if you feel they’re small steps. After all, small steps can lead to big changes. Having a list of tasks can feel daunting, so take time to look back at what you have achieved with pride.

SMART Goals

SMART goals are a structured approach to goal setting often used by professional coaches. It is also a technique you can implement if you are self-coaching.  The SMART Goal acronym is Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Time-bound.  Let’s break down SMART Goals and what they mean.

  • Specific: Set the goal that you want to accomplish
  • Measurable: Plan how you are going to track your success
  • Achievable: Check your goal is realistic
  • Relevant: Ensure there are beneficial outcomes
  • Time-bound: Create a deadline and prioritise tasks

Following the SMART goal criteria will ensure you clearly understand your goals and confirm they are within reach.

note book with handwritten smart goals open on a table with glasses and sticky notes.

Empowering Yourself Through Self-Coaching

If you are self-coaching rather than working with a professional coach, a great tip is to follow the SMART goals model to keep on track. Reaching your goals can be a transformative journey that can foster growth and resilience.

When you achieve your goals, you prove to yourself that anything is possible when you fully invest in the process. Reaching your goals highlights the power we hold within ourselves.

What to Take into Consideration When Self-Coaching:

  • Understanding Motivation: Intrinsic vs. Extrinsic Motivation

What drives you to achieve your goals? Are you motivated by internal satisfaction (intrinsic motivation) or external rewards (extrinsic motivation)? Understanding what fuels your ambitions can help you tailor your approach and stay committed to long-term success.

  • Overcoming Obstacles: Handling Setbacks and Failures

Resilience is key to goal setting. Challenges, setbacks, or feelings of failure are part of the process. Having strategies in place to navigate obstacles can help you stay focused and continue moving forward, even when progress feels slow.

  • The Importance of Mindset: How a Growth Mindset Supports Goal Achievement

A growth mindset is essential for success. If you believe you can’t reach your goals, you’re far less likely to achieve them. Self-belief and self-esteem play a crucial role in progress—working on these areas can make goal-setting more effective and fulfilling.

  • The Role of Reflection: Reviewing and Revising Goals

Your goals may evolve over time, and that’s okay. Regularly reviewing and adjusting your goals ensures they remain relevant to your life and aspirations. Life changes, new interests, or shifting priorities can impact your objectives, so checking in with yourself can keep you on the right track.

  • The Power of Visualisation and Affirmations

A clear mental image of your goal can reinforce your motivation and help you stay committed. Visualisation makes your goal feel real, helping you take inspired action, while affirmations strengthen positive beliefs and self-confidence.

  • The Impact of Environment: Creating a Space for Success

Your surroundings influence your mindset and productivity. Having a dedicated space for planning or working toward your goals can improve focus. Similarly, surrounding yourself with supportive people or communities can provide encouragement and accountability.

  • Health and Wellbeing: The Foundation for Goal Achievement

There’s a strong connection between physical health, mental wellbeing, and goal success. Eating a nutritious diet, exercising regularly, and prioritising sleep can improve focus, energy levels, and resilience—making it easier to stay on track.

  • Leveraging Technology: Tools and Apps for Goal Tracking

Tracking progress keeps you motivated. Whether you prefer a journal or digital goal-tracking apps, these tools can boost accountability and help you celebrate milestones along the way.

  • Goal Setting for Different Life Stages

Goals naturally shift as you move through different life stages. What mattered in your student years may differ from your priorities as a parent or professional. Reassessing your goals ensures they align with your current circumstances and aspirations.

  • The Role of Emotional Intelligence in Goal Setting

Emotional awareness and self-regulation play a key role in goal achievement. Stress, motivation, and relationships can all impact your journey. Having tools to manage emotions effectively can help you stay resilient and focused.

Case Study: From Self-Coaching to Professional Guidance

Adam, a 35-year-old IT support specialist, contacted me for life coaching as he struggled to reach his goal through self-coaching. Adam’s goal was to find satisfaction and happiness in his daily life. Adam believed he might need to change his career to achieve this, but he was feeling some resistance and couldn’t decide if this was the correct step.

We explored Adam’s core values, long-term aspirations, and what motivated him. Adam found that creativity, adventure, and friendships were high on his list of values, but these values weren’t showing up much in his life. Subsequently, Adam recognised that his professional life was not causing him to feel dissatisfied, as he spoke positively about his role as an IT specialist. However, he recognised that work had become his sole purpose and identity.

When Adam recognised that his time outside of work was equally important as his time at work, his overall goal changed. With this updated goal in mind, Adam structured a plan and considered any potential barriers. Adam described himself as an introvert, which he felt held him back socially. We discussed Adam’s introverted traits and how he could embrace them by focusing on his strengths and introducing self-care into his life. We also worked on his limiting beliefs around being an introvert.

Counselling and Coaching Approach

We examined Adam’s needs and preferences through a counselling and coaching approach. Adam came up with ideas that aligned with his values: creativity, adventure, and friendships. Adam tried out many new ventures before finding a hobby he is now passionate about; this has increased his social circle, and he feels he has a sense of purpose inside and outside the workplace.

Adam’s situation demonstrates that the first step is to identify the goal entirely. Adam continued to successfully use his self-coaching skills to achieve his ultimate goal while engaged in coaching sessions. During a recent session with Adam, he expressed how these changes had added value to his life, and he now feels he has the happiness and sense of satisfaction that he was searching for when he began self-coaching. Adam felt self-coaching and professional coaching were the best route for him, and overall, he feels a great sense of accomplishment for the hard work he has put into getting to where he is today.

To Conclude

Applying the above tips empowers you to take charge of your goal-setting journey as your coach or mentor.   Self-coaching can be highly beneficial. However, it’s also okay to reach out to a trusted friend or for professional help if you feel you would like that extra bit of support.

References:

Bailey, T. (2019). Goal Setting and Action Planning for Health Behavior Change. Journal of Health Psychology, 24(3), 321-335.

Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (1985). Intrinsic Motivation and Self-Determination in Human Behavior. Springer Science & Business Media.

Lord, P., Atkinson, M., & Mitchell, H. (2008). The Role of Learning Goals in Motivation and Academic Success. National Foundation for Educational Research.

Schunk, D. H., & DiBenedetto, M. K. (2020). Motivation and social-emotional learning: Theory, research, and practice. Contemporary Educational Psychology, 60, 101830.

Schedule Your Free Discovery Call

Looking for support with anxiety, phobias, or life transitions? I offer counselling, coaching, and RTT to help you move forward with confidence. Book a free 20-minute discovery call via Zoom to explore the best approach for you, wherever you are in the UK.

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