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lady in a jumper standing up with her teeth clenched representing overthinking

How to STOP Overthinking: Tips, Techniques and Strategies

As a counsellor and coach, I often hear clients asking me how to stop overthinking. Clients describe overthinking as a constant barrage of negative thoughts racing through their minds, the sound of continuous chatter, or playing out past and future scenarios, all with different endings. This blog will provide tips, techniques, and strategies to help you stop overthinking in its tracks, providing you with the calmness your body and mind need.

Constant intrusive thoughts can make people anxious and stressed, impacting how they feel during the day. They can also cause sleepless nights, which can take its toll on a person’s mental health. Overthinking can feel like a relentless cycle of destructive thought patterns and catastrophic predictions that refuse to switch off or quiet down. If you experience this level of overthinking, you know how exhausting it can be.

I often liken overthinking to going on an emotional roller-coaster; you repeatedly experience the emotions attached to events that your mind creates. You have been on this emotional journey but haven’t been anywhere apart from trapped in an endless cycle of anxious thoughts.

Let’s examine the triggers, mental and physical symptoms, and tips and strategies for conquering negative thinking patterns.

What Triggers Overthinking?

Understanding what triggers overthinking can be revealing. This insight can help you achieve a more calming and peaceful mind and lead you to personal growth.

Notice how overthinking tends to start for you. It is triggered by;

An event or situation that you find stressful
A sudden recollection of past events that has made you feel embarrassed or not good enough? An assumption based on how you perceive the actions of others
The fear of confrontation or upsetting another person

For example, it could be a sideways glance from a friend, the tone of a work email, or an unanswered WhatsApp message. Thoughts can quickly escalate and result in running different conversations through your mind, with different endings; usually, these thoughts have worst-case scenario outcomes.

When you notice the triggers, the next time you end up overthinking, you can remind yourself that it is just a thought, not a fact. You can then decide what you would like to do with the idea. Is there some problem-solving to do? How does the thought make you feel? Can you describe the feeling and name it? Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) is a therapy that can help with reframing thoughts. The premise of CBT is that thoughts, feelings, and behaviours are all interlinked. The NHS offer self-help CBT, or a CBT therapist can provide support.

The Downside of Overthinking

Overthinking, catastrophising, and trapping yourself in negative thought patterns prevent you from living in the present moment. Getting into the vicious cycle of overthinking can impact your daily life. Research demonstrates overthinking can be responsible for issues which include:

Mental Health Conditions
Isolation
Sleep Issues
Procrastination
Low confidence and low self-esteem
Headaches, muscle tension and digestive problems

This physical and mental toll is a stark reminder of the need to address overthinking. However, the million-dollar question is, what is the best way to free yourself from overthinking?

Breaking Free from Overthinking

Breaking free from overthinking isn’t just about pushing away your thoughts. It’s about taking control, changing your relationship with these persistent thoughts, and finding alternative ways to manage them.

An excellent place to start is to recognise how overthinking affects you. Notice the mental and physical symptoms and reflect on how they impact other areas of your life, such as interacting with others, progressing in the workplace, or procrastinating. Then, flip this on its side: If you didn’t overthink, what would life look like then? This part is essential as it serves as the driver for you to beat overthinking.

Reflecting on your thoughts may seem counterproductive, as it involves more thinking! However, stay with me. Overthinking can sometimes be helpful, but you must find better ways to manage your overthinking habits, which we will discuss later in this blog.

Reviewing the past and planning the future can be helpful. However, it is essential to enjoy the here and now rather than getting caught up in a spiral of “what ifs”, “could haves “, and “should haves.”

Overthinking and The Red Car Theory?

The red car theory suggests you will see it everywhere once you focus on something. For example, if you think of a red car, suddenly, there will be many red cars on the road. The truth is that there are no more red cars on the road than before, but it only seems that way because you are looking for red cars; this is at the forefront of your mind. The presence of other cars becomes insignificant and almost unnoticeable as your attention is on red cars.

The red car theory results from attention and perception rather than an increase in the stimuli in question. If you find yourself in the trap of overthinking, try to remember this theory, as it can bring you some relief from your thoughts.

Case Study: How the Red Car Theory Fits with Overthinking

Emma’s colleague Tom comes into work one day and is unusually quiet. Emma notices Tom doesn’t smile when he sits down and doesn’t speak for most of the morning.

Emma started thinking about what she could have done or said to upset him. Was it the last email she sent? Did it sound curt rather than friendly? Emma revisited past situations in her mind, such as the time she forgot to hand over an important document and the time she missed a necessary appointment.

Emma concludes that she has made Tom angry, which must be related to her incompetence. She remembers other times when Tom was quiet and believes he doesn’t like working with her.

With these thoughts going through her mind, Emma struggles to focus on her work. She becomes aware of other colleagues around her interacting with each other, making her feel more alone and unpopular. These thoughts confirm to Emma that Tom doesn’t like her, that she is unpopular in the office, and that she HAS evidence of this.

Confirmation Bias

However, the reality of this situation is likely to be quite different. There could be several reasons why Tom was quiet; he may have had bad news before coming into the office, missed the earlier train he intended to catch, or had a difficult night’s sleep. Similarly, Emma’s colleagues often chat and interact with each other; this isn’t unusual as they sit next to each other and must interact within their roles.

This example demonstrates confirmation bias, which occurs when you seek information to support your thoughts and disregard any other information that does not fit the story you are telling yourself. Confirmation bias can impact decision-making and your perception of situations and events.

Practical Steps to Overcome Overthinking

Overcoming the relentless noise of overthinking involves a multifaceted approach. As a Pluralistic Counsellor, there is no one-size-fits-all approach; it’s more about trying different techniques until you discover what works best for you.

Below is a range of self-care techniques known to help with overthinking. Trying different techniques can take time, but investing time in yourself is the first positive step.

Breathing Exercises:
Deep breathing exercises are a great way to stop overthinking. You can try many different breathing exercises, including the Square Breathing Technique, which will help slow down your heart rate, make you feel more relaxed, and give you mental clarity.
Keeping a Gratitude Journal:
Every day, spend a few minutes writing down what you are grateful for, or if you do it in the evening, write about what you have been thankful for during the day. It can be something that would typically go unnoticed, such as the beauty of nature around you, the brief interaction you had on your morning commute, or ticking jobs off your ‘to-do’ list.
Body Scan Meditation:
Get comfortable and focus your attention on different parts of your body. Begin with your toes and move upwards, noticing any areas of tension or discomfort. This exercise brings an awareness of the present moment and highlights how overthinking can impact physical health.
Mindfulness Meditation Practices:
Pick up a small object and hold it in your hand. Set a timer for five minutes and adequately focus on this object. How does it feel? Move your hand over the different textures, take in every detail, how it smells, and look at the colours. If thoughts come into your mind, just let them go and bring yourself back to looking at the object as soon as you notice them.
Physical Activity:
When you exercise, your body releases many hormones that make you feel good, such as endorphins, serotonin, and dopamine. Exercise can be anything from a brisk walk to gentle exercise, team sports, or a gym workout. Choose whatever works best for you.
Allocate Time to Reflect:
It can help to observe a thought mindfully rather than pushing it away. Accept the thought without judgment; write it down or do some problem-solving. A good tip is to allocate a time limit to reflect on thoughts during the day; often, when you reflect on them at a different time, they may feel insignificant, and you can let them go.
RTT Hypnosis Audios:
As a qualified RTT therapist, I have created a stop-overthinking hypnosis audio explicitly designed to help you break free from the cycle of overthinking. My recordings use guided imagery and deep relaxation techniques to access your subconscious mind, allowing you to let go of persistent, negative thoughts and replace them with calm and constructive thoughts.

These techniques will help you stay in the present and offer you peace and tranquillity while your focus is only on what you are doing. The good news is that you will feel empowered by taking control of your mind, knowing you prioritise your mental health and overall well-being.

Close-up of running trainers, illustrating how exercise can alleviate overthinking.

When Overthinking Can Be Helpful

When we hear the word overthinking, it often comes with negative connotations. If you consider yourself overthinking, you might have heard responses like these from friends, family or colleagues.

It’s not that complicated. What’s your gut telling you?
You are spending far too much time thinking about this.
Are you still thinking about this? Why don’t you make a decision?
I can hear this situation is stressing you; you are overthinking it.

Overthinking can often come from worrying about making the wrong decision. However, there is usually no definite right or wrong decision. We need to decide based on the information we have available. This is where problem-solving can be a powerful tool, as it can help identify which actionable steps you can take to get the best outcome.

(GuhaRoy, 2024) has written an interesting article about how overthinking can be helpful. It can be the case that overthinking is useful when carrying out academic research, problem-solving or making important life decisions. Set aside time to mindfully spend time with the thoughts that repeatedly come up for you during the day. Allocate time to sit with these thoughts; some may not require any more thought. Or, you may have to do some problem-solving around specific thoughts; if this is the case, allocate time and take a more structured approach to what you feel you need to do with the thought.

To Conclude

You don’t have to live a life filled with constant worry if you are an overthinker. You can use many tips, strategies, and tools to overcome this. Additionally, exploring and getting to the root cause of this constant worrying can be helpful. For example, if you don’t trust your decisions or feel that you aren’t good enough, this could be linked to issues around self-esteem or low confidence. Working on your decision-making skills will increase your self-esteem and confidence as you can trust your own decisions, which will help prevent you from getting on the wheel of overthinking.

These strategies can work great on their own or with the support of a trusted friend, but if you would like some extra guidance and support, professional help may be beneficial. If you would like to discuss further how I can help you with overthinking, please don’t hesitate to contact me.

Group of happy university students with ADHD celebrating academic success, symbolising self-esteem and positive student experience

8 Self-Esteem Tips for University Students with ADHD

Self-esteem is a person’s overall sense of value and self-worth, profoundly influencing every aspect of life. For university students with ADHD, improving self-esteem is particularly important. High self-esteem can enhance your academic success and social interactions, optimising your university experience.

Understanding Self-Esteem

High self-esteem impacts academic success, relationships, career choices, personal growth, and happiness. For students with ADHD, developing self-confidence strategies is essential to increasing self-esteem.

If you have high self-esteem, you will recognise your strengths, be comfortable with your flaws, and have the resilience to manage setbacks or criticisms.

Low self-esteem may manifest as a negative view of yourself, uncertainty about your opinions and abilities, challenges in decision-making, and poor response to criticism.

Even if you haven’t been formally diagnosed with ADHD, you may recognise many of its traits in yourself. Not all adults choose to pursue an official ADHD diagnosis, as it’s a personal decision based on individual circumstances and preferences. As a Counsellor and ADHD Coach, I focus on tackling the challenges posed by these traits, aiming to enhance your quality of life and make daily living more manageable.

If you are a university student with ADHD, this blog will help you optimise your self-esteem, enabling you to succeed academically and socially throughout your university years.

Smiling university student with ADHD feeling confident and happy while holding study books, representing self-esteem tips for students with ADHD

Case Study: Work on Self-Esteem with Megan

In a recent coaching session, I worked with Megan, a student who identified “adaptability” as one of her key strengths. Megan shared a story about planning a trip with a friend who cancelled at short notice. Despite feeling disappointed, Megan decided to continue the trip as a sole traveller, which was an amazingly empowering experience.

During coaching, we discussed how this situation highlighted her adaptability and showcased her strengths in decision-making, resilience, and independence—critical factors in increasing self-esteem and boosting confidence.

Recognising these strengths helped Megan, who was uncertain about her academic journey, gain clarity and increase her self-confidence. Consequently, she has made significant progress in her academic success.

This example illustrates how identifying and embracing your strengths can enhance self-esteem and equip you to overcome challenges effectively, contributing to tremendous academic success.

8 Academic Success Tips for Improve Self-Esteem

1. ADHD and Embracing Your Strengths

You can boost your self-esteem by embracing your unique strengths. You will have many strengths, but if you have low self-esteem, you may need to recognise them. Take a moment to appreciate and embrace your strengths, talents and capabilities.

It could be your creative thinking, ability to hyperfocus, lateral solid thinking skills, engaging communication, or natural spontaneity. Embracing these qualities can elevate your self-esteem and empower you to approach life confidently.

To identify your strengths, try jotting them down on paper or use downloadable worksheets. Reflect on moments where you’ve actively used these strengths; visualising specific events can help you recall them in detail.

As you do this, you may uncover additional strengths featured during those times. If you consider thoughtfulness a strength, revisit a memory where you demonstrated thoughtfulness. Reflect on what other strengths you displayed at that moment.

2. Set Goals as a Student with ADHD

Setting goals can give you, as a student with ADHD, a clear sense of direction, making it much easier to navigate your academic and personal journey effectively. Think of goals as your signposts. They aren’t rigid; they can adapt and change as new opportunities come your way. They serve as a solid starting point but leave room for exploring new and exciting pathways.

Avoid placing limitations on your abilities. Whether you want to achieve something academically or personally, please write it down or visualise yourself succeeding. Divide big goals into smaller, achievable tasks to sustain momentum and monitor progress.

Celebrate each task completed with self-praise and acknowledge the sense of empowerment it brings. Use these achievements as the motivation to continue towards your larger goals.

Consider obstacles as part of the process and approach them with self-compassion rather than viewing them as setbacks and failures. Reframe challenges as opportunities for personal growth, reinforcing your resilience and determination.

3. Finding Your Voice: Advocate for Yourself

ADHD can affect your communication skills, especially if you have articulation disorders that affect speech and language. You might find it challenging to organise your thoughts clearly or need help with pronunciation, making it difficult to express yourself effectively.

Sometimes, you might interrupt others or speak impulsively, leading to misunderstandings and frustrating communication.

These challenges can affect your confidence in communicating with others. However, understanding these difficulties and getting the proper support, such as speech therapy or counselling, can help you improve your self-esteem and communication skills.

Remember, your voice matters; your unique perspective and experiences value every conversation and situation. Advocating for yourself is a powerful way to increase self-esteem and boost confidence.

You assert your self-worth by standing up for your needs, preferences, and boundaries. Consistently doing this reinforces the belief that you are capable, deserving, and worthy of respect, ultimately improving your self-esteem.

Identify your Communication Barriers: Recognising these barriers can help you develop strategies to overcome them and enhance your communication skills.

Identify your needs: Understand what accommodations you require, such as a quieter workspace, extended deadlines, or assistive technology. Knowing your needs well helps you to prepare ahead of time.
Schedule a Meeting: Arrange a meeting with the relevant person (lecturer, course supervisor or student support team)
Communicate Clearly: Explain your ADHD and how the challenges can impact your academic success. Use “I” statements to express your needs. For example: “I work best in a quiet environment,” “I need extra time to process information”. Be specific; do your research so you know what help is available.

Offer Solutions and Compromise: Be prepared to suggest solutions and be open to compromise.

Build Confidence: Practice the conversation beforehand to build confidence. You can do this by using a journal, practising with a friend, or rehearsing the conversation using a voice recording app.

4. Building Resilience

Resilience refers to your capacity to work through difficulties, adapt to challenging situations, and become stronger through adversity.

As a student with ADHD, building resilience is especially important. It helps you manage challenges like attention difficulties, staying organised, and controlling impulses.

Resilience allows one to see challenges as opportunities for growth and stay motivated even when things get tough. It also helps one handle stress better, keeps one’s mindset positive, and improves problem-solving skills.

Resilience encourages taking care of yourself and prevents you from feeling isolated.

To enhance resilience, aim to maintain a positive outlook, seek solutions to challenges, learn from your experiences, and cultivate a network of supportive friends, family, and mentors. Strengthening these abilities will aid in your academic and personal success.

5. Emotional Regulation

Emotional regulation can significantly help students with ADHD build self-esteem. Managing emotions effectively allows you to respond to challenges calmly and thoughtfully, reducing impulsive reactions that might lead to regret or negative self-talk.

You can better control emotional responses and confidently navigate social interactions by developing skills like mindfulness, diaphragmatic breathing, grounding techniques, and cognitive reframing.

When you handle stressful situations well, you reinforce a positive self-image and demonstrate to yourself that you are capable and resilient.

This self-assurance enhances self-esteem, making facing new challenges and pursuing personal goals easier. Focusing on emotional regulation creates a stable foundation for improved self-worth and overall well-being.

6. Adopt A Healthy Lifestyle

Maintaining a healthy lifestyle is vital for enhancing self-esteem. Good nutrition, regular exercise, and mindfulness practices like meditation can significantly impact your mental and physical well-being.

Planning your days helps you maintain a regular routine. Check out my blog for daily planning tips to assist students.

7. Social Engagement

Social interactions are significant for boosting your self-esteem, especially if you have ADHD. Positive interactions validate you, give you feedback, and make you feel like you belong. They counteract any feelings of isolation or doubt you might have.

When you engage with supportive friends and family members, you receive encouragement that strengthens your confidence and self-worth.

By nurturing meaningful relationships and building a support network, you can experience higher self-esteem and overall well-being as a student with ADHD, boosting your overall well-being and academic success.

8. Meet your Role Models

Consider who you admire most, whether a family member, a peer, or someone in the public eye. Their accomplishments and personal journeys can be a great source of inspiration!

Happy university graduate with ADHD holding her certificate after academic success

Wrapping It All Up

As a Counsellor and ADHD Coach, I’m here to support you in boosting your self-esteem to improve your academic success and overall university experience. Please don’t hesitate to reach out if you need additional guidance.

Mature woman enjoying a peaceful moment on the beach, symbolising calm and empowerment in managing menopause and ADHD

Balancing Acts: ADHD and Menopause

For many women, the onset of perimenopause symptoms and menopause marks a significant life transition. Menopause is a natural part of ageing, bringing many physical, cognitive and emotional changes.

But what happens when this transitional life stage coincides with ADHD?

For some women, menopause might be the first time they recognise that they have been living their life with ADHD. When these two conditions overlap, they can bring many new challenges, and their symptoms can be confusing and overwhelming and significantly impact a woman’s quality of life. This blog explores the intersection of ADHD and perimenopause/menopause. Let’s delve into how ADHD and menopause interact and what you can do to manage them both effectively.

graphic of a woman in a blue top sitting down contemplating the menopause

ADHD in Women

ADHD traits in women usually present with problems around executive functioning and emotional regulation. These traits can be highly challenging; unfortunately, until recent years, the traits may not have been recognised by medical professionals or mistaken for other conditions such as anxiety and depression.

Many women receive an ADHD diagnosis after years of struggling with daily life. A late diagnosis can often come at the time of menopause when hormonal fluctuations can trigger a range of cognitive, behavioural and physical changes that can have a life-altering impact.

Cognitive Shifts During Menopause

Menopause occurs due to hormonal fluctuations, typically between ages 45 and 55. Although, perimenopause can start much earlier. During this time, the body undergoes significant hormonal shifts, particularly in oestrogen levels. These hormonal changes can lead to cognitive symptoms, often referred to as menopausal brain or brain fog. During menopause, you might forget things more often, struggle to concentrate or feel mentally sluggish. The impact of these hormonal changes can lead to other issues, such as sleep problems, emotional dysregulation, mood changes, fatigue, disorganisation, and executive functioning issues.

Does this sound familiar? These symptoms can mirror ADHD, making it difficult to distinguish between the two. For women with ADHD, the symptoms of menopause can feel like their ADHD traits are suddenly much worse, adding another layer of challenges to daily life. As well as cognitive changes, women can notice physical changes such as weight gain, and they may experience sudden hot flashes; together, these cognitive and physical symptoms can have an impact on confidence and self-esteem.

Why Symptoms Can Intensify During Perimenopause and Menopause

Why do ADHD and menopause seem to overlap with such intensity? New research on the relationship between ADHD and perimenopause/menopause is still developing, but studies suggest that decreased oestrogen and progesterone levels can heighten the traits of ADHD. ADHD often involves deficiencies in dopamine, a neurotransmitter which is necessary for managing attention and emotional responses. During perimenopause, the decline in oestrogen can disrupt dopamine regulation, leading to symptoms such as forgetfulness, brain fog, and emotional dysregulation.

Dopamine is essential for attention, motivation, and reward processing, and oestrogen levels can influence its production and regulation. Research from 2021 indicates that a decline in oestrogen can intensify ADHD symptoms by affecting dopamine functioning.

The Challenges of Diagnosis and Misdiagnosis

One of the challenges women face during menopause is the potential for misdiagnosis. Cognitive symptoms associated with menopause, such as forgetfulness and brain fog, can overlap with those of ADHD, and both can be mistaken for depression, anxiety, or the natural effects of ageing. This overlap can sometimes lead to being undiagnosed or a misdiagnosis.

Misdiagnosis is more likely if healthcare providers are not aware of a patient’s history. If you suspect that menopause or ADHD might be influencing your symptoms, bring it up with your doctor. Keeping a detailed journal of your symptoms can be helpful as it will ensure you cover all the relevant issues so you can confidently advocate for yourself during your appointment.

Managing ADHD During Menopause

Although the overlap of ADHD and menopause can be challenging, there are strategies and lifestyle changes that can help manage both:

Medical Treatment: Speak with your GP or Healthcare Provider about your treatment options. ADHD medication can be effective during menopause; both stimulant and non-stimulant medications are suitable. Hormone replacement therapy (HRT) might also be considered to help stabilise oestrogen levels, potentially lessening both menopausal

Mindfulness and Stress Reduction: Techniques like mindfulness, meditation, yoga, and diaphragmatic breathing exercises can help ease many of the symptoms of ADHD and menopause. Meditation helps regulate emotions, manage stress, and quieten a busy mind. Meditation and breathing exercises can also help with sleep issues and physical symptoms such as hot flashes, headaches, and muscle tension.

Counselling and ADHD Coaching: Working with an ADHD coach or therapist can offer valuable tools for effectively managing your symptoms by providing practical strategies to make daily life much easier. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) can help you navigate the challenges of both ADHD and menopause by guiding you in managing your thoughts, emotions, and behaviours more effectively. Additionally, discussing your difficulties with a counsellor can be a great way to release some of the feelings you may be holding on to.

lady sitting in a chair contemplating the menopause and ADHD

Establish a Routine: Creating a structured daily routine can provide stability and help manage brain fog and disorganisation. Calendars, planners, and to-do lists can help you remember important appointments. Breaking tasks into smaller, more manageable parts can help with focus and prevent procrastination. Check my blog on goal-setting for some more strategies.

Lifestyle Adjustments: Regular exercise can help regulate mood, increase cognitive functioning, and ease many traits of ADHD. Choose activities you enjoy. If you can get out in the fresh air, a brisk walk is ideal for boosting your overall well-being. Do some brainstorming to find activities you enjoy. Eating the correct foods and taking supplements can help your overall well-being during menopause. A healthy diet for women experiencing menopause can positively impact many areas, including regulating hormones, bones and heart health, weight management and increased energy levels.

Sleep Hygiene: Establish a bedtime routine, as a good night’s sleep will enhance cognitive function and emotional well-being. Night sweats often occur during menopause. Keep your bedroom cool by opening a window or using an air conditioning unit or a fan for a good night’s sleep. Similarly, it can be helpful to wear loose-fitting nightwear to stay calm and light, as well as breathable bedding and natural fibres like cotton. Consider specialist bedding such as moisture-wicking sheets or cooling pillows to help regulate body temperature.

Sharing Your Experiences: You’re Not Alone

It’s important to remember that you don’t have to go through this alone. However, if you feel alone or want to speak to others experiencing similar challenges, consider joining an online community or local support group. These groups can be a great form of emotional support, as you can ask questions and share experiences and information, which can positively impact how you feel.

Three smiley mature woman on the ground facing upwards supporting each other

Finding Support and Moving Forward

If you’re struggling to manage the symptoms of ADHD and menopause, reach out for help. Ask your healthcare provider, seek support from friends or family, and research both conditions. Knowledge is power, and understanding what’s happening in your body is the first step toward taking control.

Remember, menopause and ADHD may complicate your life, but with the right tools and support, you can manage both and continue to thrive.

Conclusion: Embrace the Journey

The intersection of ADHD and menopause can pose challenges, but it’s also an opportunity to learn more about yourself and to find new ways to manage and embrace life’s changes. By understanding how these two conditions interact, you can take proactive steps to improve your overall well-being. Don’t be afraid to seek help, share your story, and connect with others on the same journey.